Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi beautifuls ☺ thank you popping in.

Yes was good today thanks loves and tomoz chooky postponed which is fine. I Can sleep in, just wanna sleep ..a lot

Thanks Mandy yeah its good being normal again. Some cries but getting over them, none today. Some sads with love but all part of grieving. Over the worst but there are times. I did what Wolfy taught me, felt it, breathed, looked for positive in the situation and let it pass through.

I think and care very much about you too darlin 🤗 Thanks sweety girl 🤝💗💜

Been walking hills but 4 instead of 6 but still good walking and tiring. Archilles easing but not quite gone so being aware and careful.

Grandy you're so cute, oops sorry 😢. 😊🤗

Love that about the 💑 being a broach. The rest is a charm bracelet. And don't forget your other broach on your slipper. ( It looks so cute there 😊) makes me happy being there 😚 it's like it's a special place and it's sweet like you. Dunno it's just cute lol. Love you Grandy 💜 Thoughts often 🤗

Bit of a sleep sarvo, walked, watched recorded stuff on TV.

Thanks for caring and for everything lovey and have been 👀 as always, chat tomoz at yours. Who's place we staying at tonight. Yours chook for stars, blanky, chats 🍾🍷& 🤝

Youse are beautiful 😙 thank you both 💗🕊💑 💜

[Ggrand]

Good Morning lovely lady,

I'm hoping you are doing okay today.

We have sleet falling today here so it's really cold...

Well done on walking again, I will have to try and start to walk a little...or excersise inside..I'm really beginning to be very unfit..

.Oh I love the charms on my charm bracelet...thank you, maybe this broach we can make into a charm...

Thank you Deebi, we decided on mine for last night..It was really cold with a strong wind blowing so we rugged up and drank hot chocolate and talked...

I'll cook you a nice warming up lunch today of minestrone, with hot buttered Vienna bread loaf,,,,yummy tummy warming food....

Please be okay and keep warm, plenty of vitamin c and snuggle up into a blanky, and stay warm.....maybe watch your recorded to shows today...

I have my candles burning, my crotech hook l 👀 king at me. I'm l👀king at it and thinking..., the wool is sitting here looking at me and laughing at me...ha ha..you won't even start..if I can manage start to do something now, I won't feel so vulnerable tomorrow at darts because I can be croteching as well as them, then I don't need to sit their looking silly between games....

Enjoy your day sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere I'll just sit with you while I decide if I should start croteching or knitting again...

Love you Deebi,💜 always here for you 🌹🤗.

🙋 waves everyone else, I hope your day is a good day..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweet lady 😊 always a pleasure

Yikes sounds cold alright. Make sure you're rugged up hun. It's comforting you looking out for me like that ya sweety but you have to too ☺

So original plans postponed which was fine. Good day with flick chick friend, she's really lovely. I had mustard and Tom sauce over my lips and face from the hot dog, turned to her and said I'm trying out this new make up what do ya think...😆 dead straight face she said .. it's really natural 😂. They did a sound check with music then took off somewhere 😆 so we choofed it was windy and had a coffee was nice. Walked home but felt I needed to be out again so had a long walk on the beach, was good. It'd be good if you can start again Grandy, it's different stimulation for you and outta the house and of course for the body, could help your bursitis dunno tho. Eurobed sounds like a good idea lovey.

Thank you for lovely lunch, very nice. 👀 😅 tell that wool what for. Loven your determination not to let the snooties spoil your time, good on you Grandy and that nice lady she's the one that matters. So glad you're going back to 🎯 you sound good, so was my love he has several trophies, including some with his Dad.

Haven't rung new psych yet and haven't heard about my psychiatrist skype yet so no doubt will. Guess I best check

Special group and MH bloke tomoz. Lunch with friend Tues.

Oh..oh... Grandy if you 👀 in your 💼..god I love that and oh...oh...😂...I had 💑 made into a charm as well so you have a broach and charm now so I'll add that to the bracelet.

Love our time..L💜 V E you ☺🍊 💼 🤝

Hope your days been good hun 🤗 and anyone reading 💗

[Ggrand]

Hey Sweet Deebi,😚..

You made me laugh today..Thankyou so very much.😁..I just cracked up when you told me about your mustard and tomato sauce make up.😂.. your such a treasure 💎..Love you so much...💛💚..

You had a busy walking 🏃🏼‍♀️ day today, I love walking on the beach, I would do that daily, there something soothing about the waves 🌊 and the smell of the salt air....😌..

I started to crotchet a pram blanket, my younger sons wife's sister had a little girl around 8 weeks ago..I seen it on fb a month ago. So I thought I will make and send down to them....I'm scared 😳 to go to 🎯 tomorrow but I need to push myself to get out, if I don't I will be like I am always...

Im not good at 🎯 I like playing it, I think that makes a difference, my friend pam really loved playing, every time someone got a bull eye, I could say that anyone walking past the hall, would think we were playing on pogo sticks...she was such a good person Deebi..

Please check up on your psychiatrist and psychologist this week and find out what's happening..Tomorrow is a nice day for you..special group and MH bloke? you said is nice bloke...Lunch with friend 🤗 on Tuesday, that's really good happy for you.😊...I got 2 days out as well....

oh..Yippie Thank you Deebi...now I have a special friendship charm....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 the same as the special friendship broach you gave me for my birthday.😚😊.. how sweet 🌹of you to do that...I did 👀 in my bag 💼...and found something special for you in their..but I need to wrap it up first and put a pweedy 🎀 on it..

Ditto Deebi,, L💜VE, you very much.....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄🍫🌲....💚..

Sleep well Deebi, and keep warm. Everyone else as well..

Love and care,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB,

I hope your Special group and seeing your MH Guy goes well today 🙂 Tuesday lunch sounds fantastic too! You seem to be keeping busy lately and getting more into the social scene, which is wonderful.

Yesterday sounds like a good day. I like your “make-up.” Better than eye liner and lipstick any day. Lol. I love your sense of humour and fun...you have such a beautifully warm and kind spirit.

I have replenished the picnic basket that you co-own with Grandy 🙂 I might throw in some extra choccies bars for your sake...best I do that to keep you away from my stash! Lol.

Super soul hugs and love from you no. 1 student,

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

I just wanted to call in and wish you a beautiful day today with your special group 👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👩‍👧‍👧 and your mh guy👨🏻‍⚕️...

Have a good day, hun love you very much..💚🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....xx

[demonblaster]

Heya dear friend 😊thanks so much for your well wishes for today yes as well MH bloke great guy we get on very well. Lovely time with my group too

How lovely and so glad you're crocheting again, very sweet and thoughtful for your DIL sister.

Pam sounds like a lovely lady Grandy, very sorry you lost your lovely friends. I'm so glad you're going and that determination you have to improve on your situation I've always admired in you ☺ you've got courage. Good on you 🤗 Dad said I grouped them well (darts) we had a board in garage.

Yes I'd forgotten what the original broach was of. Love it on your slipper it looks so cute there. I know I keep going on but it's gorgeous there 😃 just suits you're sweetness. Can't help it 😂

Hope you're continuing to pick up lovely and with luck your bursitis and glands settling down. Hope so lovey 😯

May have walked a bit far yesterday was huge walk archilles a bit sore, might do bike sarvo eating too much rubbish. Bought a single durry today had 5 in 9 days going well.

Yeah I'll have to ring GP and new psych. Pwomise 😁

Oh what ya got me 😀

L💚 ve you beautiful friend ☺🌹

Hey my darling PEPSTAR no 1 student and by jove she's a keeper 🤗

Hope you're feeling brighter sweety girl and thank you too for popping in.

You're so kind refilling our picnic basket you do know you're invited to our star evenings under blanky and hot chocolating don't you.

Thanks hun yes it was a lovely day with my special beautifuls and great MH bloke.

Yes thanks to you lovely people gently encouraging me I've started getting out and about again and lunch fri with another v.good friend. It helps keep beasty at bay too. Oh btw Grandy that Bonfire us at end of the mth. We were chatting a bit today briefly. Neaty 😀

Haha extra🍫🍫 ya little sweety, my aren't we clever keeping me away from your stash 😁

😎 glad you girls liked my make up, going to be putting it on the market soon. Should be an internet sensation 🤔

Have great days lovely ones and thank you for your time and care 😙🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely Deebi,

Its so nice to hear that you had a lovely time today with your special group. and mh person is a great guy, it really helps when you get nice mh people that are easy to talk to....

Awe no, Please be careful with your feet don't overdo the walking,🏃🏼‍♀️ although I know you enjoy the out time, maybe stick to beach, softer surface..but I'm only thinking sand might be better..👟..

The broach 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 is very special to me Deebi, It looks really cute on my slipper, 🌹...

Um your 🎁 sweetheart...um...well...I'm still making it..🛠🔩🔨🔧...Maybe a couple more days yet..🤔. .😁..

Im really very proud of you with the durries..well done...here is a 💄💅 for being so good. I hope you like the colours...

Our Bonfire 🔥 is at the end of this month, okay Deebi...💚🌹..

Peppy..Thank you my gentle friend for filling up our picnic basket..💚🤗🌹..

Love you Deebi 💚💜..

Love and care..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety sorry lost 2 posts trying to reply so a quicky

Sorry I wasn't clear that's the real bonfire. We'll stay at friends sisters ( she's been giving me pumpkins been souping ) we're doing it at end of this mth. It'll be really good and stars Grandy 😍

Our campfire, I think often about it. Must get cracking eh lovely ☺

So hope you enjoyed darts and that tomorrows a good day for you. Posted at yours

Love you very much and hope it's getting easier for you now and you're sleeping better.

Nigh nite sweety love 💚💜💗

Thank you for your beautiful friendship ☺🤗😚

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

I’m glad you’re mingling and socialising more these days. That’s the outgoing DB we know and love 🙂 I’m so happy you had a wonderful day yesterday although you might like to go easy on those epic walks of yours considering your Achilles...

Thanks for inviting me to your star gazing evening. I just might take you up on the offer...hopefully Grandy doesn’t mind.

I have added a few more goodies in your picnic basket today plus choccie bars...better I give them to you than have you snooping around my stash. Lol!

Love and super soul hugs,

Pepstar xoxo