Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[startingnew]

Thanks SL xox

Goodnight lovely. I hope you sleep well and tomorrows a good one for you.

🤗🤗😘😘🐞🌷🎂🍫

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely DB (and all),

You clearly enjoyed your chat with the wonderful man at the BBQ 🙂

You seem pretty busy lately but in a positive way. Going to social events, running errands...and crying over chocolate. Sigh. Don’t worry, I think you still owe me a pack of tim tams so I’ll happily take your choccies from you. You know...for “safe” keeping 🙂

Love and super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Thanks for calling in SLD

I hope you had a good sleep and good day today too.

Seriously loven that Avitar 💗🤗😚

😂 Peps such a friend in my hour/s of need 😂 that's quite ok I know where your thread is lol.

Thankyou for your continuing friendship Pepstar you're a real gem.

So you're still on level one with the ET, sounds good being prolonged, best with that lovey

Hope your days good too lovely lady 😊🤗

Hey Grandy beautiful I'm going to pop over to yours later and see how you are.

Love you sweet lady ☺💜💗🦄👀💑🌹🌲

[startingnew]

Hi SL

Hows things? is the pain staying away with everything your doing?

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,🦄

I never thought of putting my arms around my ribs when I cough, Ive tried it today and yippie it helps, 😙 Thank you for telling me that..

Im pleased that whatever change is happening to you is happening, honey it doesn't matter how long it takes any little bit is better then none..👌

Good your shoulder and arms settling, keep doing what your doing to keep it healing, but take it easy on you back.

My cold settling but cough no..I have absolutely no energy to do anything, I cannot believe how lethargic I really feel..

My sons 21st was combined with his engagement to his now wife. I have good memories there,

Awe Deebi, I'm sorry your friend is still not doing the best..I hope she mends quickly..

Deebi you don't need to post back if your having trouble honey..look after you first..Please..

Love you Deebi...Think of you throughout the days..You make me feel less lonely and wow Deebi been feeling very lonely since I got this cold...oops a bit emotional today, I better go..

I hope you sleep deeply and wake up as bright as your 🕊avatar..😁..

Love and care deeply Deebi.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[smallwolf]

Hi DB,

Hope things are going well for you. I read about the BBQ etc so things seem busy at the moment. Hope the good luck continues.

Smallwolf

[demonblaster]

I replied here but its gone. Thanks for calling in Starts and asking, still sometimes pain on waking but overall its all settling. Pheww takes it outta ya. You're having a rough time of it poor thing. 🤗🌹

Grandy always lovely seeing you 🤗 So the coughs holding still, is it dry or moist? and notice the colour if its productive hun. Are you getting much sleep? Wonder if some slow deep breathing might help the poor lungs is it hurting your ear still? Sleep as much as you can Grandy this is when your body really needs it. It's recooping 🛏

Beautiful memory, so good to hear 😊. The pressy you haven't opened has been going to be a campfire would you believe. For all of us I think about it in bits. It'll be lovely 🌿

When you're emotional you don't have to go Grandy I'll give you a loving hug and you can talk cry or silent whatevers good for you darlin. Love you dear lady 🌹 and thankyou for your concern for friends, what a sweety. I've wondered how you're going with your sad losses of your friends 💗 You be ok Grandy lady 😚

Really nice to see you Wolfy thank you too for coming by and for your care, I've been wondering how you're going

I'm ok thanks, no great shakes not depressed just ok, the happy beans are there somewhere. Been walking the usual hills again which is good actually I throw different ones in occasionally and still sleeping a lot but thats ok for now I think my body needs it too.

I hope you're feeling brighter Wolfy and those doors keep opening for you.

Dear Birdy. If you're reading. Ohh darlin sorry to hear you lost your chooky she sounded like a lovely soul. Big hugs with love tweety. Don't like you hurting 🤗💗🌹

Thank you.. all of you ⚘

Nite ☺

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB (and all),

I am so incredibly happy for you that your mood is lifting. You sound like you’re much more emotionally grounded. That is wonderful to hear. I hope you find those happy beans soon.

Also, I’m always happy to help you store your choccies for “safe” keepinf 😉

Happy hill walking.

love and super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB,

Birdy: I am so sorry for your loss. Chooks are such special friends. I had a friend who moved to the country and is raising chooks. They’re such special souls with distinct personalities.

I know losing animal friend is hard for anyone but I know this must be especially so for someone who lives and breathes animal love and protection.

Sending much love your way ❤️

Pepper xoxo

P.S. Sorry, I hope you don’t mind DB. But I just wanted to acknowledge Birdy’s loss..

[Birdy77]

❤❤ oh wow, thank you so much Deebs and Pepper ❤❤

It is so so sweet of you to say that here!! Thank you to you both, and of course Grandy on her Pets thread and Amanda's thread ... so kind of you all.

I tried so hard to get her well, but the odds were stacked against us, and her little body just couldn't keep going a day longer.

We buried her body in our garden and planted an avocado tree in her honour.

Her sisters are thriving, but we have cried a lot, and miss her special and big personality.

Thanks my friends, it's just so lovely of you all.

❤❤ big love ❤❤

🌻birdy