Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

So sorry Grandy you're so lovely remembering my lunch date oh yeah I know it'd be awesome lunching together then stay over at yours for our stars ☺ you move me lovely 🤗

Love you to the moon and back too 😚🦄

Really hope you feel better tomorrow darling lady and get a really good peaceful sleep

Nigh nite sweet loving friend 💜🌹

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely DB and a wave to all,

Thank you for the weekend well wishes 🙂

Your BBQ yesterday sounds nice. Hopefully it was good to see your friends and chat.

I’m glad being out and about is helping to clear your head. That’s wonderful to hear.

Um, I’m not sure if you ran off with the tim tams or the mint choc slices. Lol. Hope they were yummy!

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Just calling in although your lunch is over I'm hoping it was an enjoyable time, and now...what do you like....um...Tim Tams...oops but I got none...haha...well, looks like it's got to be....umm...hmmmm....yummy...howzs about a yummy rich full cream chocolate 🍫 with some 🍓 inside...That's only because I know you have been a good girl 💜..

Love you Deebi.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy

[demonblaster]

Hiya dear Peps thank you always for popping in you're a sweety

Yes you feel more alive been out and about I was talking for a while at the bbq to a bloke I know from bussing which I don't do lot these days. Nice guy he wasn't at the bbq just a chance meeting

Haha oh yeahhhh yummy was worth the bolt 😅

Hope your days good hun 🤗

Grandy you sweetheart yeah just back very thoughtful she gives me a chance to shop as well was good seeing her it's been a while

Just unpacked shopping.

Hope you're still on the up dear lady and loving your choccy lol yeah been a good girl sort of 😂 geez gotta stop on the choccy oopsy I'll get it back off and more.

Usually having plans I wouldnt walk but did today and tackled a hard hill, paced it. A couple are smaller but it all gotta sweat up.

The friend that has plans for us that broke her collar bone called in quickly other day and told me what we're goin to do ohhh stars Grandy yay and I think a kinda bonfire too woo hoo not sure when but it'll be so good.

Take really good care precious people

Love you Grandy 🤗😚🌹💑🕊💜 thank you calling in too it's so lovely seeing you ☺

[PamelaR]

Hiya Deeb

Long long time since I popped my head in. Doesn't mean I haven't thought of you often. In fact daily. It's just I see you with loads of support and there's so many others out there who are also in need. But I remember special people like you and have a very warm place in my heart where you sit.

I see you've been really busy BBQing, going up hills! Good on you DB. Pleased you're travelling along with help from others on BB. It's good to see.

Here's some tim tams 🍫 and mint choccies 🍪 to keep you going.

Kindest regards

Pammy ❤️

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

How are you?

Sorry if I'm a bother, but I wanted to say hello..

Wow your friend sounds like she is going to give you a night out that will be something good to look back on..I have been to a Bon fire 🔥 party once...I still remember the feeling of sitting around it..Magic Deebi..it was my youngest sons 21st.... I really hope you have a great time..How is your friend doing with her collarbone I hope she is healing okay and not in much pain,.

Talking about pain Deebi, How has your shoulder/arm feeling? and how are you feeling?

You had a busy day, out for lunch, shopping and a strenuous walk, well done 🏆.. I'm pleased you enjoyed it..😁..

Yes Deebi, my cold getting better daily, still coughing a lot at night but not as much, maybe another day or two and I should be 👌 okay...

I hope you sleep well tonight..and tomorrow is a fantastic day for you...

Love you sweet Deebi, 💜🌹..

Be okay always.

Warm and peaceful 🤗🤗🤗 hugs.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy xx

[startingnew]

HI DB xox

Just popping in to see how you are?

youve been pretty busy havent you! but sounds like a good kind of busy

Hi Grandy, Peps, Pam and everyone here too

[demonblaster]

Heya.. 😀..big 🤗 good to see you chooky thanks for dropping by ..that's ok you're helping people and life keeps going.

Hope you're getting some photography in and you time lovey, another hug and that your travelling well? Our times really good Pammy you're a good person, thank you for your support and caring. Ditto lovely ☺

A warm place in my heart, what a beautiful thing to say. Thank you 🌹 I feel good when I see you around hun you're in mine too x

Don't worry about replying here maybe on your thread when you're there next to save time if it's easier

Ohh the choccie ..mmm... I'm going to have to back of all that for a while... excuse me while I cry... you know the sobbing wrenching type ..yip fraid so 😂

Be well Pammy 🤗💗 you like Red? ❤

Nigh nite hope your day was good 🤗

[demonblaster]

😊🤗 lovely lady it's always pleasure seeing you you're never a bother. Thanks for your time an keeping an eye on me, you are an angel 💗

What an incredibly caring compassionate soul you have Grandy 🤗 yes lot's of hugs. There's change going on hun I have to get my head straight but it's not coming easily just in bits but that's ok it'll all slot in. Hard to explain. Change.

Shoulder/arm settling well thanks so much for asking. Backs been touchy hoping it settles. Usually ok until outs. Gotta get back walking daily and do more and get the weight off. Dah tablet gremlins this is taking ages

Good your colds settling the cough hangs on eh hope your ribs are holding poor thing do you put your arms around when you cough, good th heat packs Starts suggested are helping a bit.

Oh what lovely memories with your sons 21st and the bonfire. Something about that scene isn't there. Happy for ya hun ☺

boyo is this testing me lol. I get stubborn. This post is going to get finished!

Thanks for asking I'll tell her, she seems to be ok but it hurts on some movements. The other lovely said what a beautiful person, they all here about yaz and to thank you for the treats. You're so sweet Grandy shes still knocked up poor thing.

You be ok Grandy

Love you 💜

Peaceful sleep. Some good stars out tonight, thought of you... do anyway 🌹 nigh nite lovey ☺ thanks for yo

[demonblaster]

Starts darling..just LOVEN the Avitar...best of...YEAH girl ..😀

Thanks popping in lovey yes it has been good busy. Reconnecting with people it's good.

Your turn for goods. I'm going bed soon so I'll see you later lovely. Geez I hope you get some sound sleep tonight and less hand arm pain. Good day tomoz darl

Night darlin 🤗..❤..

..🌹...