Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Ok Pammy sounds like you've done well starting threads that takes confidence. Yeah same I'd like to be there with you, let us know when you do that thread chooky ☺

Good on you with the book delivery volunteering, theres a lot of lonely people out there Pammy I can see you being a bright light in their lives. You're quality 🤗 let us know how ya go. Hey the little birdy its cool in the tree trunk, good catch darl

Look after yourself Pammy 🤗

I haven't seen where Grandys still unwell checked. U ok Grandy? Where did u see that Pam?

Grandy ..please..be okay 🙂 love

Starts in the first which is the worst GOD! I was told ? Anti inflam needle in neck ..NOOOO thanks love and Grandy recently sussed they have to get the right spot too. Yeah/Nah its easing but still got fury intermittently. Drags ya down

Better choof to bed ☺😚

[PamelaR]

Morning Deeb. Thanks 🙏 for your kind words. It means a lot to me. Will be getting up shortly to start the day.

How was your night sleep 😴?

I here those injections into neck do help...

see you later today. Maybe with my new thread.

xoxox

PamelaR

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

I read that you’re trying to take a bit of a backseat as you rest and recover so no need to reply to me 🙂

I just wanted to send you some well wishes for your anti-inflammatory neck injections, which sound incredibly painful. I really hope they work...

As I said, no need to reply to me if you’re not feeling up to it. Just take it easy...gentle and easy does it ❤️

Thank you for the lovely things you said about me. I finally get 1.5 days off (with no commitments or work later this week), which is rare these days for me so that will be a welcome relief 🙂

Typically, I have something on (either work and/or other commitments) 7 days each week so I’m really looking forward to those 1.5 days! Lol

Super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

P.S. All the best at your new volunteer role at the library, Pamela 🙂

Also, I would be interested in any personal thread you might like to start. Having said that though, there’s no rush or pressure...only if you want to start one ❤️

[demonblaster]

Hey Pammy ☺ hope your day was good I know you'll be a great assett to these lovely pele good on you looking forward to hearing how it went 🤗

Thanks lovey yeah been sleeping a lot lately but had proper walk today all the usual hills so good, oops choccy biscuits though 😷

Pepstar heya thanks as always for your time and lovely friendship 🤗 got in early with that hug.

Ha sounds good you'll have some time out glad for you.

Nah I hacked not sure how the first and worst bout of neck shoulder arm pain 2nd bout very hard too both off the scale of pain, 3rd and this both very rough but not having the neck needles I'll just sit it out, its easing but long way for recovery yet but at least getting there

Hope your days are brighter Peps I havent thumbed but am up to date on your thread.You're so lovely I want you to be happy 😊

Look after yourself huns x

Starwolf (Rock) just want you to always know you are never far from my mind. Love you and so hope you're in full recovery. Wish there's something I could do to help you 🤗

Grandy, you ok darl? Miss you when I don't see ya. Love you 🤗😚🦄💜💗 should I be worried?

[PamelaR]

Hiya Deeb

Woohoo. Had a good day, thanks! So good to be out, smiling, putting myself out there to make people happy. I love doing that. It's part of me. You're awesome and a legend. I've been thinking of my thread.... totally motivated by you. Helping me no end in learning about me. Gotta love those choccy biscuits though - totally with you there. Will try to get it up tonight.

And you've been walking - how good is that. Impressed I am Deeb. So lovely.

I know you don't what needles Deeb. Have you tried Reiki? (Sorry if you've already said somewhere...)

Anything happening tomorrow?

❤️🐝💐💋

Pammy

[demonblaster]

Lay down dunno if I slept but got up with a smothering sense of alone. Awful. 3 days off durries been ok had 3 rollies yesterday went and got a pkt gunna be ok to get of them the walk helped a bit.

I can't see ahead, know I have to get through this but what for there's nothing. Loves gone no its still there but gone. It's empty. All part of learning to move on and adjusting ..sux biggly

Hard to explain and to say, awful feeling, it engulfed me. Ya start thinking about a future alone.. bleak. What if something happens these things fleet through. I'll be ok just needed an out

Grandy 🤗

[PamelaR]

Hey Deeb. You don't have to beat yourself up because you went and got a pkt. Breathe DB!

Losing someone close must be the pits. I don't even want to think about it. It's essential though to build new networks. It sounds like you have networks out there - start using them. Build new ones.

You like the gym? You like getting out walking? Loads of walking groups. Ways to meet new people. It's not easy, but hey DB it is doable.

I came back to my home town 9 years ago and have had to build a network of social activities, friendships, as well as getting familiar with the city. Believe me it is doable. Just takes some commitment from self!

Hang in there Deeb.

Pammy

[demonblaster]

☺ glad you had a great day Pammy thats you so happy for you

Meaning to ask about reiki? I'm ok to sit the mutt out thank god its easing but still yikes😨 at times but interested.

Nah othing planned actually might go to library and get a dose of Janet Evanovich bounty hunter series shes brilliant you feel the characters funny action cruisy good stories easy reading

Have read a few lines of this book I got op shop recently have a new you by friday (yeah right) Dr wrote it but worth a squiz till I get Claire Weeks that Pauly talks about

yeah good the extra walk my god 😲 ate some biccies 😷

Hope your days good tomoz too Pammy 🤗

[PamelaR]

Stephanie Plum is great. Up to about story 19. Can't get enough of her. Though, must say the plot, theme are a little repetitive. Still awesome read though.

Not sure about Claire Weeks.Might have a look at her books when I'm in the library next.

Psych visit tomorrow early .... Keep thinking I've not done enough homework. Really...LOL. Then chiro visit for dodgy hip.

Send some biccies my way 🙂

[PamelaR]

Hey Deebs -

Reiki energy, (often described as "universal life energy" or "spiritual energy") is accessed by a practitioner during a treatment. It enhances the body's natural healing ability and promotes wellbeing. Reiki treatment stands on its own as a healing practice and is also safely used to support orthodox and complementary treatments.

You know when I had my migraine the other day - hubby 'layed hands' on my neck and head. LOL - he took my ache away and ended up with it himself. He got over it pretty quickly though. It is all about believing. Will never work if your a non believer.