Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tony,

I hope you are feeling good.

Tony I understand about no obligation to reply, That's something that really never concerns me..I'm happy to just try and help others if I can. I had an upsetting Easter and felt rejected by my family, and l'm certain that had a lot to do with it..I am very sensitive , but I was feeling overwhelming sensitively, these last few days this will pass.

Thank you very much for your care and time, and the reads, which I will definitely read.

Love,

Karen.

[demonblaster]

Sapphire hey darl lovely of you to pop in yeah lovey ditto I'm on sidelines too atm, first time in mths I've not been posting except here but am listening and keeping up with my threads, I know you're strugbling hard and really do care about you very much 🤗 my heart goes out to you darl. Believe hun you can get through

WK thank you and you're not hijacking Happy birthday Sat ☺

Mandy darling you're doing it very hard too atm I as you know care very much about you as well and feel deeply for your pain. Love and care sweet lady. No not you lovey you're always responsive. Thoughts lovely 🤗

Pammy thank you too for your time and caring your support is very appreciated as well 🤗 you too are a beautiful kind supportive soul. X

Ahh Peps you're such a lovely friend too thank you for your kind words hun. Love light and super souls to you my dear friend. Hope you're getting through the blaghs too, you're a beautiful warm kind soul.🤗

Ahh Grandy I hope today hasn't been too hard on you. Remember you're so much stronger than you think lovely lady. Thoughts often 🤗🦄💗⚘

Guys believe I really do mean I so appreciate your time and effort to me, I just need to kick around here for a while to try and gather myself. Its a few things and my necks giving me some curry atm

Bbq was good

Please don't feel obliged to put time into me honestly I'm ok and thank you so much 💖⚘

[PamelaR]

Hello Deebs

Pleased to hear the BBQ was good. Always nice.

Also nice that you're being a bit more communicative though, still laying low - which is okay and good for you!! I think we all need to balance our lives. So go to it.

Thank you for you thoughts about my life. Yes, it's been difficult, though no where near as difficult as others. You know, I'm just pleased I never remembered stuff - I would never have coped as a teenager growing up without a supportive mum. Things happen for a reason, my body and mind protected me until I was ready and able to deal with stuff.

As always you are a legend dear. Hugs and more hugs your way.

Hope the rest of your week is okay and you get the sleep you need.

Kind regards

Pammy..

[startingnew]

Hey DB

popping in to say hello, sorry i havent been around all that much either. im glad your bbq was good!

hows your pain going?

[startingnew]

also Pam- do you have a thread of your own? id like to support you too but i cant seem to find a thread to support you on...

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 🦄

I just need to say....I never feel obligated..I love our time..

love you Deebi..

Im okay.

(L&C).

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄

[demonblaster]

Our minds do look after us Pammy, there's forces at work they kick in without conscious thought I guess survival at it's most pure form. Im so glad you had support from your Mum. It's appalling what horrors people experience. Shaking head

Yes I too was wondering if you have a personal thread, I know you have a psych one

Nice knowing you ☺🤗 thanks you get it don't ya, just need to find myself.

Starts darling SLD ☺

thanks popping in and for asking, pain eased off but wow.. was leaning arm and body against a square pole for a bit at BBQ (thanks girls ☺ when I moved away it felt like my arm stayed there geesh.. savage for a few seconds... phoo doubled me over was sudden

Been listening darl.. still close by. Haven't left yaz 🤗 😚

[startingnew]

HI DB, ouchy! i hate when that sort of pain comes along im glad its eased of abit now. you poor thing. i wish they could help you out more for your pain then whats already being done besides the surgury option.

gentle soul hugs xoxo

[demonblaster]

Same 🤗

Magic 🦄

Love

[PamelaR]

Hello Everyone

Deeb, sorry to hear about the arm at the BBQ. That can hurt.

DB, StartingNew - I have about three posts. But none truly reflective of me as such. I'll start one soon (I think it's indicative of my self-worth and self-esteem. Not worthy enough to have one for myself. I'll get over that)

The posts I have (or started) are under PTSD & Trauma -1) Sharing strategies to help with PTSD, 2) PTSD and stigmas 3) New Psychologist.

I start my volunteer role tomorrow with the local Library, delivering books to people who can't get to the library. Looking forward to it. So I'm off to bed now.

Hope you have a better night Deeb. Hugs to you.

Starting New- hope things have improved for you. Hugs to you.

Grandy - sorry to hear you still not well and couldn't make your visit with the MHN or get to the Shop. Take care my dear. Hugs to you.

Nighty night. Don't let the bed bugs bite 😉

❤️ xoxo

Pammy