Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

? BP day 2.12th March start. Bbl

Starts thanks hun nice ☺

Arms back to mild and shoulder pain too phew was hairy last 3 days. Might have to sleep in recliner nights and day naps in bed to catch up. Meds knock ya and as you know pain drains us.

Mentally good mania helping. Damn not yet.

Haggard so early night from here.

Cya lovelies tomoz SLD

Thanks for listening and time 👍⚘

[Guest8901]

😄 So pleased pain reducing. Get your early night and hopefully some worthwhile sleep. Thanks for your earlier post to my thread too. Sleep well. 💓 🌙 🛀 💤 🌟

Amanda

[startingnew]

good to hear about your pain reducing and an early night sounds good

night sleep well xoxo

Hi Mandy xox

[Ggrand]

Good Night/ Morning Deebi🦄.

Im staying again at yours, 👭brought my magical bag, that full of special treasure..Do you want to open, No to hard Deebi, rusty hinges..Arrrg Arrg.Lets look inside..hmm. 🎁 A secret surprise present..🎃 Oh a pumpkin.. soup? ..🎩 A top hat..🐇 Awe a wabbit jumped out..🐳 A whale.. Wow this is fun, 🍄 Always a magic Mushroom..🌈 Colourful rainbow...🍯 Sweet honey, just like you my special friend..🌋 A volcano, these fascinate me as well Deebi, ..

What a lot of little treasures.. .

👭 come on now off to bed, but I'm sorry honey, you need the recliner, I'll grab my bean bag, and sleep next to you, I'll gently wipe your face, neck, with a feather soft cloth with cool water, so you sleep better.

Thats news is so good, that your pain is easing off a bit.. It was the pressure of laying on the bed I think that aggravates it...🦄..

You sleep well Deebi, I'm going to lay next to you and try to sleep, I have my phone app on medication I need it tonight..

Sleep peacefully, and dreams of tranquil waters, with little green frogs 🐸 singing there peaceful song..

Good Night my special friend 👭 Together we are a power that beasty just cannot beat, remembervthat..🐘..

❤️❤️❤️🦄🤗🤗🤗. Always.deeply.

👩‍❤️‍👩 Grandy 👶..xx

[Sapphire_]

Deebi.

Im so pleased to see that the pain is subsiding a little. Good news.

Hope your early night gives you pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed.

❤❤Sapphire

[demonblaster]

Ughhh.. pain 3am woke me. When it first started few mths ago the pain was off the scale 15 outta 10 with 5 areas affected, 4 parts severe different pain and pins and needles.Pinched or compressed nerve. Bring out the Kahlua & JD & Cola

One of the worst areas is near neck down a bit on shoulder felt/feels like Ive been shot point blank this is REALLY CANING 😭 fiirst time the pains made me bawl this bout ..GOD it hurts worse than the arm and thats friggen rough. Give me deepest downs over this anytime ..ohhhh crap 😭😭😭

I'm goin to close off here soon can barely see keyboard with tears.

Starts thanks darling I don't mean not to reply to certain comments I'm in process of being more thorough yes have tried pillows under arm doubled under arm but u said at back hadn't thought of that tried it but had woken with pain Geez before going to bed it was hurting in chair so arm pain to elbow couple times on movement but easier today, this part flared up the MONGREL.. shit! Stopped crying good job ..cheeks are soggy now

Mandy hey sweet thanks darling see you today sometime probs and Starts

ohhh GOD !!! This is nearly unbearable

Ohhhh Grandy can you please really gently move your hand around my shoulders ohhh tears really flying. Holding on tight G so glad you're here tonight THANKYOU for another AMAZING post

This is phenomenal Im going guys

Appreciate yous so much. Didnt get bed till 12am ish after 4 now cant go back bed till hopefully both meds kick in cant sleep here it doesnt relent this one

Ok mentally jyst cant stop crying it hurts so bad

Cyax

[demonblaster]

phooey thats an hour I never want back, just to let yous know meds kicked in and repositioned V shape pillow in chair, still quite painful but WOW! not as intense atm, I'll have to wait for bed till hopefully it completely subsides it is the pressure Grandy damn it!! Bloody love my sleep always needed a lot

Grandy stay there lovey go back to sleep I'm just 🛴 to your place for a sec

Ohhh i was cacking it earlier your pressys were gorgeous to Jackson and the 🚜 OH nearly fell off my seat laughing, zoom zoom round the Cafe, classic. Wicked humour huns

Its incredibly comforting saying and meaning I love you every day again and reciprocated. Several friends all families we have the love happening but dont see anyone particular regularly starting too with a couple very closeys one though still haven't heard back I'll keep trying and other ways to get her, gut says shes ok but little voice unsure.

YESSIM.. pains down another level again barely at this sec

This is nearly 5 wks fair way to go, first one was worse pain took 6ish wks

Neat last night first in yonks arm didnt hurt as much so at least one section settling.

HAHA now 👀 starting to land on keyboard

Not going back bed till it settles more for little was good

Look know this is about pain venting but seriously sorry to be going on and on its just all consuming and release to let it out and people caring so much and supporting as yous know means the world. Honestly I'm usually happy go lucky and am happy those times. Good face for downs

Yeah not goid fighting these pills

Caio babies I often think how terrible life would have been before they worked out pain relief from nature.

Thanks again 😚

See yous all later sometime gunna have to sleep lot if I can

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful DB and all,

Oh no, the pain has clearly been keeping you up all night. It sounds excrutiating. No wonder the tears are falling. I want to help you gently wipe them away...

Physical and mental health is intertwined so when one isn’t going so well, the other is often affected...Sigh.

To answer your question, I feel there’s no “formula” or strict method as we all write differently. Personally I reply partly instinctively but I also mentally make a note of the key themes or a single overarching theme that the poster has raised e.g. family issues, loss, loneliness, etc and I try answer around those key themes.

That is just an idea as that’s what I sometimes do. I’m not saying you have to do that plus I feel it’s important not to lose your own style of writing. We wouldn’t want you to lose the DB “touch” You write like “you” and that is what endears you to so many people 🙂

You are wonderfully giving and caring friend. Even when you’re in so much pain, you think of me. Thank you. Talk about being blessed ❤️

I suppose sometimes I just don’t really have much to say about myself. I think it’s partly because my mind is sometimes on other things that don’t necessarily have much (direct) relevance to mental health or my own “personal growth.”

For example, climate change is something that plagues my mind. But I feel this is hardly the place to rant or to start a debate...so I mostly keep quiet about it for those reasons. Lol.

Havent been doing much art stuff lately. Just been focused on other things and when I’ve some free time, I’m often too tired to do anything artistic. Sigh.

Anyway, take your time with replies. It sounds very painful typing. Gentle and easy does it.

Love and super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[Guest8901]

Oh how awful. Crying right along with you now. Kick in pain killers. So sorry its so bad. Hug. Rest. 😴

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,🦄..

So very sorry,

Please Deebi, can you please will you ring your friend, to take you to the hospital ER, as soon as you wake up, regardless if it's sore or not....Please Deebi, do this it's important, you CANNOT continue to go through this constant pain. You need to get someone to take you to the hospital..NOW.. Pain is getting worse, you are taking extra pain killer to cover up/ hide the pain, thats warning you that something is getting worse..Friday is to long to wait for Doctor, do it today at hospital Please.. it's important honey Please ring your friend to take you...

WILL be waiting/ sitting here constantly until you wake again if the pain is still there get to hospital immediately..

Hate not knowing where you are, Geez Deebi come on look after yourself and don't be so stubborn with your pain..I'm sorry I'm a little hash but I'm so really, really concerned about you atm, you have to do this for you..If not for you for me...Please hun,

❤️❤️❤️🦄🤗🤗🤗...🐘..

Grandy..