Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, ecomama,Hanna,Paws and everyone….🤗..

Hi honey, bbff…yes I’ve tried those headache patches and they do work sometimes but not always for me….I worked with a lot of Asian people..I think they were mostly Korean….They use white oil on their forehead for a headache and green oil on sore muscles….I have those here at home with me…unfortunately the white oil doesn’t work for me…but the green oil does help on sore muscles…like little strains not the deep set pain of bursitis, or bone pain from the spine….

Wanted to call in to wish you health, happiness and peace in your life my dearest bbff….as well as to wish you a beautiful restful sleep tonight…oh and every night after tonight…I searched my 💼…so many cobwebs from not being used…anyway I found a little sleep doll…you put it under your pillow at night to give you the sweetest dreams…in the morning you put the little sleep doll on your bedside table so she can absorb all the rays from the sunshine and transform them into sweet dreams…so when you put her under your pillow the next night…sweet dreams are yours again….keep repeating that routine daily…..💕💕💕..

Did you try going to bed?…and if you did how did it go?….

Okay bbff…Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let Beasty bite…

Thinking of you with so much care, love and sending you some good night hugs 🤗 

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hey DB, big hugzies! If you want, of-course - seems to me you might use a few, so I am offering.

I'll purr & purr, gentle & rhythmic, to sooth & comfort

mmMekitty 

[demonblaster]

Hi lovelies thank you for your support it means a lot 😊👩‍❤️‍👩

Kitty 🐱 sweet you popping in yes the hugs I'll take anytime. Were welcome recently. Back at you. Oh yeah grooven to the purrs 😆

Hi Hannah 🐕 thanks too for popping in.
Our poor Eco's 🐸👍 been having a rough time alright. Helps  having diagnosis for you both. Poor both of you eh. Ear infections are bad news I've heard. 
I would have loved to see that Stephen Fry. Heard he's good. That's the sort of thing 
Hoping todays a better one for you and Poods (Poodle). Ok on occasion I'll put what the abbreviations are. Most are Grandy and my BBFF lingo but yip it'd make it hard reading for others so I'll try and put some at the bottom or something. 😂 adding the accent. Onya 🤣

Dear 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hi sweety how you going lovey, I originally came here today just to check on you but here was the first place I saw and that you lovelies had visited I wanted to reply. 
Ahh you soothe the soul my darling friend that was so beautiful I love our little doll. You're so good at our fantasy. Comforting too. I imagine others get a buzz too. 
lol Yip we need to get the cobwebs out 😆 I miss it.
Btw I've still been thinking often about your 🎁 I had that once with our dear loved and missed Peppystar too. Have some ideas I like but can't put it together but I assure you one day...

Same the patches oh these are 6 a pkt, are hit and miss tho at times with otc they work. It's said the earlier you catch headaches the better, same with them. 
Sounds good what the Asians use esp for the muscles. Shame not much for the deeper pain. 

Had my icky out, it's a little sore of course but good otc meds working for it. 12 stitches. Heard there's a chance of a Melanoma in the middle too and ? scc. I've thought about it a few times but it's easier not to get worked up and wait and see when results come. Deal with it then. 

Still in recliner, I tried bed a couple times, only got about 3 hrs. Think it's very 

slowly improving. Can't risk it performing again till I get the project done. Pretty flat out in preparation but looking after my mind/body. Physically/mentally couldn't do anymore last night. 

Deep love 💜 👩‍❤️‍👩darlin 🗯 always. Going to yours in a tic then must choof on. Yikes! calm atm but haven't been at times.


 

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, waves to Mr Deebi, 

I'm glad to hear you have finally got that icky out... wow 12 stitches... I'm sure nurse Grandy 👩‍⚕️ was watching to make sure every stitch was done super neat... lass don't listen to beasty trying to get you to worry about it... it's all out that's the important thing.

If you hear a loud scratching at your door it's just Woofa doing his impersonation of one of those bernese mountain rescue dogs... but instead of brandy in cask around his neck, he has a bottle or two of khalua carefully packed in his saddle bags... with a triple choc cake for Mr Deebi... I've popped a steak 🥩 in the other saddle bag so you can toss that to Woofa to give you time to shut your door before he comes in & tries to hog your sofa for the night...

I hope Mr Deebi is feeling better... 

Big hugs

Paws

[ecomama]

Hey Deebi, Paws, Hanna, Kitty, Grandy and ALL the other lovely people reading along, 

Ouch 12 stitches?? That's eeelot! Icky be gone! So glad that's done now. Hope you're okay with the other results, HUGS avoiding the sore spots though. 

You guys will be eating TRIPLE chocolate cake from Paws now so no use expecting a response with mouthfuls of that yummy stuff lol. 

Yeah 2 ear infections weren't fun but they weren't as painful as the dratted sore throat that the anti biotics didn't fix. IDK if I told you all but it was my Counsellor over a PHONE session who worked out that I'd been over dosing on the meds the GP told me to keep taking? 
I wasn't even taking the full dosages but my Counsellor could tell I wasn't my usual self by a long shot. So I stopped them all asap. Took days for the fog to clear, wow never put 2 and 2 together... just being my usual mostly compliant self! 
Silly me hey? 

Well it's POURING rain again right now and the icy winds have returned. October? 

Daylight savings makes little difference to my life but that's a good notion about the kiddies having more light after school, makes total sense to me too. 
Mainly it means I'm 1 hour closer (then 6h "difference") when talking with BF who's in the U.S. which is more comfortable for both of us... soon we'll be "5h apart" when their clocks change over. 
We can talk after I finish work some days during the 5h difference which makes us both happier. 

Hopefully you can get some much needed sleep Deebi. It's good to know you're taking good care of yourself. 
Love EMxxxx

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws, ecomama and all…🤗..

I was so pleased to read that your icky has been removed….12 stitches bit ouchy..hopefully they not get too itchy for you when you skin starts to heal….Please now, be very mindful of your stitches and keep an eye 👁 or two 👁 👁 on it for infections…..

Please try hard to put the thoughts of melanoma out of your mind…I know that would be difficult to do, worrying about it now…Good girl, putting those thoughts aside until your results come in….Praying your results will be good ones…..🙏💙🙏….

Meditation might be beneficial for your mind and body right now….maybe something you might try honey, if these thoughts keep pestering you…I’ll do it with you….This is where my mind took me last night….It was so calming, I so much wanted you to come with me…First we  sit down on a nice green section of grass, we can hold hands and then look up at the clouds as we imagine we are drifting along the breathtaking blue sky, while a few eagles fly along with us….such magnificent birds the eagles are….The eagles flying along side us are steering our soft fluffy cloud towards the open fields…towards the beautiful crystal clear creek, where we can see tiny little fishes playing amongst the reeds darting in and out and around the beautiful pure white water lillies….some are diving of the water lilly leaves, making a teensy weensy little splash as they dive through the water…maybe they having a fishy Olympics….We don’t really know what the world of animals do or think about….Who knows what magical things they do..that we as humans will never ever know…

Please Deebi,  it’s okay about my thread….No hurry sweet bbff…I know your very busy with the BV thingy…and I’m wishing you all the best luck I can….I will try to post in mine today…Trying to get out of our own head is really hard sometimes….Writing here has done that for me today….what an awesome place this is for us to release our thoughts and put our feeling down….I only hope that management know’s how beneficial and I’m sure life saving these forums are….

dearest bbff….Sending my deepest love, respect, care and hugs along our golden thread 💙💫💙…from me to you…🐿🤗….

My care, love and hugs to everyone..🦋♥️🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

😺I am glad you have had the icky removed. I hadn't realised it was so big. It sure is good to have Nurse Grandy looking after you, taking you through the lovely meditation, too.

Personally, I find it is not so hard to acknowledge the worries & remind yourself that you don't know what you don't know, & that can be frightening. Remind yourself, too, you have people around you who will support & care for you.

Hugzies, carefully not on the shoulder ...

mmMekitty

[demonblaster]

Hi Kits Grandy  Pawsy Eco & readers 

Thanks girls for your support it's always deeply appreciated.

Not so good today but it'll pass. Have to come down sometime eh. 
God if it was just mania. Lifes so much easier.  I"m able to listen more to coping skills in mania, I don't mean voices it's thoughts. Hard to word stuff atm.

Anyway got a solid 7ish hrs sleep last night. It's been close to 3 mths. 
Still mostly in recliner. Back might be improving slightly but not enough to be in bed for much time and the shoulder's better to be in the recliner. No idea why but it bled, is that a word? more and mildly sore. Need to change the dressing hopefully today I'll get from chemist something. 
I don't think I was clear. I haven't been anxious or stressing about the ? from the shoulder, what will be will be. Of course it wouldn't be good if but I'm ok to wait and see. Then deal at the time if need be. Let youse know. 
It was usual rot with being in mh, including the BV thingy. I was pleased to handle several big stresses and anxiety rising but beasty lost but tried hard the mutt. 
 
As we all experience at times I imagine, a few life happenings that slow it all down considerably. Some goods too. 

Talk more later dear people. Thank you for your support really xx

Grandy always deep love thoughts. Have caught up hun, be at yours today I hope 🤗
👩‍❤️‍👩💜
 

 

[mmMekitty]

"Beasty lost" 😹that's the best!
😺Sometimes we don't write as clearly as we'd like - & sometimes I know for myself, I do't read as clearly as I'd like either! We all muddle through, though, don't we?

If you are struggling with strategies, let us try to help you, remind you, encourage you, okay?

I'd love to know what you tell beasty to get 'em to back down & be quiet.

Big hugzies? I'm offering.

mmMekitty

[ecomama]

Dear Deebi, Prayers for your healing as always. 

Perhaps it could help to have a Nurse in your GPs change the dressing? 
Then you can ask them to have a look at the wound to see if any sutures have come apart? 
Sometimes all that's needed are some butterfly bandaids, you know the ones. Nice and gentle. 

Plus they're PROS at doing dressings usually! 

Yes of course any medical intervention and awaiting results can pluck with our MH. 

Please be kind to yourself. 

Sending TONS of love your way, 
EMxxxx