Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Dear buff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Eco eco and all lovely ones hi 🖐

Oh Grandy you 😂 me up. Wow what a student you are. It’s no wonder I love you so much 🤗 thank you and wow those stars sound amazing and brekky yumm. 

Geez I 😀seeing the tractor 😂 oh such funny good times eh. 

Eco lovely seeing you too and kitty thank you loves too. 

just a quickly for now have a mild back out and start of another headache. Be sleeping in recliner tonight probs better though I’d rather be with Mr darling 🥰 but back really complains in outs in mornings from bed. 

Oh Grandy it was a chat with the local newspaper for BV thingy today. 

ok beautifuls many thanks for your time and care. 

when things get normal here again I’ll post more. Know I do deeply care for you lovelies that I haven’t been too much or at all since the changes that I don’t mind it’s the devices aren’t liking them. 

whopping deepest love dear Grandy really loved that 🤗🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🥱🦋🌸🧚‍♀️ There’s a little pixie for you too 😘🙋‍♀️ 

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩….and everyone 🤗..

I lost my post due to bad internet here today…I think unlike our mean machines 🚜🏍…the internet ran out of petrol😂…

I do hope that the BV interview with your local paper went really good for you…..💕…

I picked some beautiful white Lillies, some deep purple Daisies, some while and purple irises as well as a couple of very sweet oranges all from my garden and wrapped them up into bright pink tissue paper and thought how much you would love them in your home…I also have a spare honeysuckle scented candle that I brought along as well so you can watch that flickering little dancing flame while you relax this evening….

Okay precious friend, just a quick visit today just to let you know that I’m thinking of you with kindness in my heart as well as my love and care…🌹🐕🕊🦋💕👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💕🧸..💙

Hugs and care everyone with my love..🤗🦋♥️.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, and everyone…

I do hope that you are doing okay, I am sorry but I needed to call in today…it’s been a while since I/we heard from you and wanted to check in on you….🦋💙🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.” – Laini Taylor

Isn’t that a beautiful quote….I wanted to share it with you…I so much believe that just about anything is possible with hope….Please sweet beautiful Deebi, believe in and hold on to your hope 24/7…

No pressure bbff to reply..just letting you know I’ve been thinking of you.,

pubaok…. 💭 🤔 of you 24/7 with so much deep bbff love and care..💙♥️💕💙♥️..🦋🕊🤗and some caring hugs..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy…🍃🕊🌱🌿🌳..

[mmMekitty]

Me too, DB, just popping by with some bikkies, only a litle bit burnt, I promise. Please, let me put the kettle on...  😺looks pretty on me, don't it? 

So how are you?

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely friends Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Kits 🦊 Pawsy 🐾 Eco 💐 haven’t got a special emoji for you yet but sometime lovey so for now a bunch of pretties 😊

Many thanks dear people for your really lovely visits. Nice easy chat and support. Grandy floss It’s a urgh losing posts eh. 

Im just here for a quickie though bits of news.
I need to continue getting stuck into BV thingy. Been putting untold time in. Super hard in mh.

Drat the day I chose though but whatever happens I’m ok about. I’d love to talk about it but unsure if I can. 
not of course in mania (starting to come down…I think) overall so far not great times at all but still learning to pull up out of those wicked hard deeps. The rest is just stinking hard work tho goods between but in time maybe it’ll become easier. Better!

My sweety 😍 has Covid the precious he’s ok just a cough that’s easing and nose runs are too. I’ll test us both again tomoz. I haven’t got it but possibly had it recently with chest infection only. Glad my body sorted it without meds. Poor darling has a dose of gout. Think he’s having it in his elbow too at times. Nasty stuff.

Maybe the universe was looking after me, I’ve/still sleeping in recliner. The back seems better but some different pain not good even hurt several times driving a short distance. Bit scary. Usually it’s better by now. Dunno. 
Busting to get back in bed. V.scared of getting up WOW 😬 pain. Pretty sure it went out again the one time I thought I was ok to go back. Pfttt. 
Gets hairy standing too long. This is different to the multitude over the yrs of outs but the initial was same. 

I’l reply properly later dear people. Know I really appreciate you all 🤗 thank you for being so lovely 😊 take good care girls 🤗🌸🌽 there we go

Heya my Gorjy hey soz everyone about spells 😆 learning a new device. Cool but phooey lot to take in. I can usually work stuff out. Getting some lessons had 1.

Grandy looky 🦄 cute or what eh. 
🤥 halarious. 
Hope Ebony’s going well the gorgeous girl and you too my besty of the best ever and ditto my gorjy.

Deepest love precious friend. At times I yearn for us rl. Yes that was nice. Hope is the opposite to none. A chance of something better. It only goes if we give up. I too believe anything’s possible 
👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋💜🦄🫣🤪 haha 😘🤗  love you Grandz

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩…

Oh gosh, I am really sorry to hear that Mr. Deebi has covid…I do hope he recovers quickly and 100% fully….I think he’s, it is a great idea that you both do a covid check tomorrow and again maybe in a weeks times just to be sure….

Been thinking..found my thinking cap..🤔🎩..in our 💼….Going to bed seems okay for you as well as laying down…I hope I got that right!…getting out of bed is the problem?….is it possible to place a chair 🪑 next to your bed, so in the morning you can position it so you can use it, in a way that it helps support your back while your trying to get out of bed?…um, maybe not, idk..maybe it could be dangerous as well…if it slides on the floor…but if Mr Deebi, can sit on the chair while your using it..it might be okay….Or maybe before you get up…is it possible to put a back brace onto you first?…then slowly try getting up….Maybe I’m thinking silly…but just throwing a couple of ideas to you…

I know you’ll do your very best with the BV thingy…and that’s all anyone can do…I have always admired the way you put all your heart and soul into doing things…You really are amazing….not just  words…they are the truth….

Its okay honey, about posting…in your own time…sometimes an emoji (💙😂🕊😁🤔😂😢)..is enough to let other people or your (bbff) know how you’re doing...you know, if posting is too difficult while your in BP….You are doing a good job…you are so much more stronger then you’ll ever ever realise….

I hope you both have a beautiful and peaceful weekend…

Sending you my deepest love with eternal care…💙💕♥️🐿🤗…so many 💭 of you each day….🦩🦩🦩🦩.

sending my care, love and hugs..to all the beautiful people reading here..♥️🌺🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🍃🕊🌱🌿🌳..

[demonblaster]

Hey my Gorjy bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 And to you other beautiful people out there 🍫🍎

Grandy love thanks for always a soothing caring visit.

Haha aren’t the stalks cute. Funny you did them I thought you’d like them sss.
I love how you throw in our fantastic memories like the bag pepper tree vrooms etc.

Thank you for your kindness hun 🤗 I know you speak from the heart and not just words.

In mania there’s a lot more confidence/like in ourselves. In (normals) geez what are they 🤔, Its easier. Beasty’s a master at undoing it all. How funny spello had beauty instead of Beasty 😂 doubt it!
I’m aware more now how depression makes us feel that way. Helps a bit. It’s So stinking hard isn’t it.

I’ve lost some weight I’d gained, happy about that. We went a few days without chockky. I was nearly a super model 😅

Grandz someone on your thread mentioned stick on headache patches. I had a definite stayer (wasn’t going), sometimes they do. They can be worn on the forehead, glamorous look that’d be 😎 or back of neck. The brute kept unsticking I may have done something wrong. For the while I had it staying it did the trick. Chemist $6.99 you get 4 I think. It’s a cool soothing feeling. Hope yours are easing floss 🤕

Thanks sweet lady for those good suggests. The usual pains gone.
There’s other nasties going on. Pretty dam average I tell ya. It’s effecting walking down the Rd, Standing and the catches at times are frightening. It  should be well settled by now.

Started when I was doing exercise for hip. I’m going to have to wait for that op so I can pace the exercises that take me into mh and this back out was during one of them grrr.
This time I can get outta bed ok. It catches either sitting or walking. Unbelievable how a couple of seconds pain can be so unbearable. Going to bite the bullet and try bed. Not getting enough sleep but parts the project too. 

Grandy thanks sweetyheart you have no idea how much I love and care about you my besty best 🤗 look after yourself please dear friend. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🌈🦋❄️🐝
Good days everyone let’s make them good. We got the power in us ✊

[ecomama]

Hey Deebi, thankyou for the flowers, they're gorgeous lol. 

It takes me so long to read your posts because I have to try to figure out the abbreviations THEN put the whole lot in an accent hahaha... I think I get the general picture! 

I'm happy to be a frog if you want suggestions... or a Buddha but I'm not Him! 
He's sitting in a quiet corner of my balcony now all covered in nail polish decor hahaha. He looks GRAND. 

Haven't heard of those headache patches, WOW. I've been really ill lately, not covid. 

Hope you're sweety recovers from Covid really SOON. 

IDK but Deebi did you get to see that AWESOME show on ABC years ago with Stephen Fry talking about Bi Polar? The one where he went all round the world interviewing people with BP too? 
IT WAS MAGNIFICENT. Gosh I got into it so much, I had to watch EVERY dingle episode. 
Love Stephen Fry anyways lol. LOVE his telling off of a TV Journo asking why he didn't believe in God, man Stephen is brilliant. 

Anyways got to take poodle to Vet today. We think he's broken his leg or has done something pretty bad to it. 
No blood or cuts we can see at all. Just can't use his leg at all, poor darling bubba. 
Gives me so much anxiety when one of my kids or pets is in pain, so I'm really shaky today.
At least the kids can talk! And we have more options for medical help with humans (whether the "help" is useful or not ... yeah). 
Pets, no. So frustrating knowing how to help them. 
Hopefully we get answers TODAY. 

Love you all so much, 
EMxxxx

[Hanna3]

Hi EM,

I saw on Grandy's thread that you're unwell and so is your little poodle!

Her paw should heal in a bit of time, glad the vet saw her.

Sorry to hear you're under the weather too! Antibiotics or penicillin - you must have an infection, I hope the penicillin kicks in soon and you feel better. These drugs can make us feel a bit yuk too, but they're wonderful how they cure things.

Rest up! Sounds like you and your poodle are a good pair at the moment!

🐩💞🌞💐

[ecomama]

Hi Deebi and all the lovelies here, hugs to all that need or even want one.... HUGS! 

Hey Hanna, 
Thank you, you're so kind. 
I've got a double ear infection (never had ONE before so this is interesting lol), got drops for my ears. 
I can't take Penicillin and that's what would work, the GP said. I have to take a different anti biotic, he doesn't think it'll work but it was the only thing he could give me. 

Darling poodle, had "soft tissue damage" and IDK how he did that, which is frustrating. He got an injection so has been on the mend. 

Thankyou Hanna. Your care means a lot. It's been a really rugged 6 weeks or life tbh lol. 

Ahhh I saw within this circle of friends threads that being on the forums can be "a lot" to cope with some times. I'm feeling that way today. 

I hope you're all well and your beautiful fur babies are well too, 
Love EMxxxx