Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

You are pure magic Grandy.

☺loved our beach time. Zipped over to yours, you've been here for me but what about you. Saw you said your days not been so good.

🤝 come on sweety sit down with me, my turn for you, talk to me lovey or would you just like a big hug and a nice cuppa tea or hot choccy and we can sit under blanky. There ya go pop your head on my shoulder, we're both going to be ok honey. Together we'll get there. 💑

Love 💜🚜💗🛴

[Ggrand]

Good Night, Deebi,

It was a good time on the beach wasn't it...it's a shame that we have to come back to reality.😁.l

Thank you for holding my hand Deebi, I really appreciate that a lot...I'm having a nice cuppa with you now honey, then I think I'll pop into bed under blanky...(my security blanket)..maybe read here a little or games then hopefully I can get a few hours sleep.....

I hope you get a really good healing sleep tonight, with lots of cute little teeny weeny birdies singing you the most relaxful and peacefull music ever, that puts you into a really deep restful sleep.... for everyone....just lay in bed and think beautiful thoughts about being a bird a flying high above the earth in harmony with life...

Lots of love Deebi..💜🦄🤗...deep...

Lots of hugs 🤗 and love ❤️..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼..

Lo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB and all,

I suppose sometimes we just need doona days. I like to think of them as part of the process to help people recharge and re-build their strength...intent to think that’s what you’re doing. Rebuilding and recharging...

I‘m happy to hear you managed to go for a walk the other day. Hopefully it wasn’t too painful with your achilles playing up though...

Well done on trying to give up smoking 🙂 I have never smoked so I don’t know what it’s like but I have heard it can be quite an emotional time as your body goes through withdrawal. I like to think your body is reprogramming itself for the better, and I take it with quitting that it gets harder before it gets easier.

We are all here cheering you on...

Much courage, super soul hugs and love

Pepstar xoxo

[Ggrand]

Good Morning Lovely Deebi, 🙋 To Peppy Starts and all.

Just calling in to say hello and hope your day is a good day...It's raining here Deebi, been a constant since around 4am...light rain, but soaking in rain...I'm just sitting on the veranda and for once my morning mindfulness practise is with rain...

I won't stay long. I really came in to ask you R U Ok? and to remind you that you are very much Liked/loved and cared for here very much and that your a very important person to so many people here and in your r/l. that's because of your kind, caring and wonderfully beautiful soul you have.

Sleep away your withdrawals if you can sweetheart..it took me around a month to be able to feel less need for them...now for maybe 3 months I'm okay...still wanting but only at times, and the thought (cravings gone now)..leaves me quickly...Your doing a fantastic job...All you can do Deebi, is to try your best..please remember that... plenty of water honey, flushes it out quicker.

Love you very much you know..

Have a really nice day today Deebi, enjoy the day, rain, hail, shine, you will always be a ray of sunshine for so many..

Lots of special deep 💜 and care..🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy💜🦄👼..

[demonblaster]

Hey Peps thanks for dropping by ☺

Yes been having quite a few Doona days just got back up going to walk soon. Archilles is holding on hills painful in recliner so been doing some excercises with our beautiful Grandys gentle loving reminders.

Hope you're seeing better days lovely lady 🤗💗🕊

Grandy my dear friend how good to hear you're having rain, what a refreshing change.

I'm ok lovey didnt go MH group today or special group not sure whats happening there. Mix up with times it seems.

Not down just each day is another one really. Woke having another epiphany the other day at 3 am was thinking and aware of how to handle depression but was in a dream and disappeared in seconds, woke so happy understanding it all. Poof gone.

I'm ok Grandy thank you for caring so much, easier to shoo durries in doona rptime but going fine. Not sure if I'll go bbq tomoz MH lot of smokers but guess I better get back into the world sometime too.

You're light in my life, thank you for being so beautiful. Treasured friend. Take really good care tjat goes for anyone reading.

Love you too ya know ☺💑💜💗

[Ggrand]

Good morning Deebi,

Just popping in to say hello, love you and to take great care of yourself... it's okay if your didn't go to your groups. I never went to mine yesterday...

Lots of love and hugs..xx💜💜🤗🤗🦄👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👼?.

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful/s

Thank you dear friend love you too 🦄 lady ☺💜💑🕊🌹🗯🛴

🚜 😂

Hope everyones having better days 🤗☺

Take good care Grandy love 😚

[startingnew]

hey DB

well done on giving up smokes.wouldnt be very easy to do at all! but baby steps and i believe youll get there. Rome wasnt built in a day 😉

See how you go tomorrow, you might find yourself enjoying the group and getting out into the world abit. you seem a rather social person normally but can understand wanting to avoid things as well due to trying to quit (smokes) or being in pain. It might be good distraction but its up to you of course.

Hugs and hugs xoxox

[startingnew]

Lol, wow i should read the dates!

Did you go to groups today DB? how are you going today?

[demonblaster]

Hey lovey nah passed today as well. Been hibernating a bit lately.

Not bad thanks bit emotional especially about my darling, miss him so much.

Not depressed just quiet. Probs out tomoz night, kinda have to.

Sorry you've been having a rough time be good when thats done. Keeping an eye on you darlings 🤗😚