Hi kind good people, replying out of order
Mandy darling 🤗 Thanks so much for reassurance no ones leaving me, very comforting, and for those other lovely comments.
Soz repeats. Before love passed I often said not to die & as a child to Mum often. Maybe where this leaving thing stemmed from when I was young dear Dad was going through heart surgery, I asked poor Mum, she so gently replied yes he nearly died 😢 same a few yrs later he nearly died. Later at the peak of his health it was instant. Stumbled on a lot of thoughts of dying can/is consistent with OCD one day I'll read up, fluked on that couple days ago.
Everything u amazing people are doing for me is perfect ⚘ I'm constantly blown away with the support here & you all have so much on your plates too. I support others but feel guilty that I can't enough cause of this head rot. I realise there's no pressure ☺but..
Solid. honey ?, re support bloke may be able to help with intensive therapy. I don't know I'd be a priority tho often thoughts & hows and the severity of the downs which I'll know in time are changing & of course funding being the key issue but I'll talk to him and GP seeing again Fri. I suspect they'd only do it for severe risk to themselves or others. Mind you I occasionally wonder if one day my brain will lose the plot, not in psychosis or harm to others but how the hell much before it caves in and insanity takes over. But at least for now Im rational. Maybe I could get NDIS funding but I think they'll see me as coping. Yeah/nah, they wouldn't hesitate after a day in this head.
Mask? no this guy I'm very open with. Unfortunately but grateful I essentially see him for MH f.nitely, the bbq can be a quick chat.
Hospital I'll talk to GP. You're making sense darl thx but again I don't feel I'm priority, almost gaurantee they'd say go home, but my god it'd be good not doing downs alone or without people that get it. Not downing anyone in my life. Maybe if I ring MH and see what they say as well? Been choofed along by them too, they're lovely & good but for criticals. I'm on record with them but feel dismissed there too. (Funding & for critical) Its so hard reaching out you're so friggen vulnerable. If I could express or remember better it'd help.
Taken a big age to do this, need the practice. Back sleep soon. Bbl loves.🌹
Bit better today 🤗
