Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Peppermintbach]

Sorry, I meant to write

“That would be nice (instead of ‘fine’) especially during the cooler months.” Lol

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hiya beautiful Grandy and other adorabubbles lovely to hear from you 🤗 thank you for your time and popping in

Grandy always beautiful to see you've called with your beautiful warm heart. I so hope you're feeling better today floss (love that made you happy 😊) you're having a hard time of it. Ha loved you tucking me in ya cute thank you, you so deserve being cared for hun.

How lovely you're going to be able to talk with your son, very happy for you darls. I read in your other thread, need to read back. You dear lady. So much love.

Yes darl stuff today. MH tomoz and later in wk lunch with lovely friend.

Glad you walked but awful being puffed but good on you poor thing. Ahh nice you feel safe you make me secure and safe too 🤗😚

Haha I'm look 👀 ing over you too what a beautiful thing to say brilliant light shining through my soul, you're gorgeous you too lovely let it shine ☺

Love you Grandy darling ❤💗🦄🕊 thank you always for beautiful posts

Sez chooky haha yeah I gave you Sez eh lol, lovely to see you hun thanks popping in. Hope your darling doggys ok I too know how much you love it.

Lovely the hugs, right back atcha huns 🤗 wasn't sure if you're a hugger so now I know 😊

Take good care of yourself sweet 🤗⚘

Pepstar me lovely thank you so much I was going to ask do you think a small back pack might be easier to carry my stash around 😆no stock take aye 😂 such a mate

Yes Rissoles were nice but forgot onion not too worry and yeah marshmallows sounding yum aye.

Have a great day everyone

Birdy darling, been thinking about you sweety. 🤗 care very much about you lovely.

Hey beautiful Mandy sorry no didnt have plans for w/e few bits and bobs this wk 🤗 I'll see you later today hoping at your thread

[startingnew]

Hi DB, im sure i wrote a post to you a page back but now i cant remember... anyway hows your day treating you?

[demonblaster]

Hey SLD thanks I saw the post I checked yesterday or when you said but didnt see it.

No idea what would make me happy Starts I wonder that too. Don't wanna be alone the rest of my life. Yes I miss my love very much this is the kinda outskirts of the heavy grieving there's a lot of adjusting. Untold.

Today was ok thanks couple of sads on my walk but just needed to be back out.

Mh guy tomoz and couple other things through the week and did stuff today I like doing.

Hope you're doing better SLD

Thanks lovey 🤗❤🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello sweet Deebi,

i seem to be getting better now, not much coughing today 😊..glands are sore..don't know how to stop the hurt There..

Your posts to me Deebi, always brightens my day..love listening to you here or other threads.

First time I can say happy birthday outloud to him, yes special for me...but a few days later...was one of the worse days of my life..But Deebi..I will be okay...

Im pleased that your doing your walkies, good for outside...Good tomorrow your mh guy, you like him, and other things this week...I got work tomorrow a work meeting next day then my special day. Looks like I'll be busy as well...

Thank you for L 👀king out for me, love you so much..❤️.

Waves 👋 to Sez, Pepper,Starts, and hugs as well 🤗🤗🤗.

Enjoy you day tomorrow, Deebi, and everyone,

Im going to try sleep a bit now..still 😴. Don't know if I can but will try...

Love you Deebi..❤️🦄💜🕊 haha 👀🙃

Warm and caring hugs.

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

That's good to hear that your coughings backing off knocked you about poor thing. No I don't know about glands either.

Are you eating ok and drink plenty of water too ok lovey all the time

Hope you get some sleep you've had a lot on for a while. Big day Thursday Grandy is that his Birthday? You know you can talk as much as you like here floss 🌿 sheez to follow must have been bad, hugging you. You stayed a beautiful person, you're the winner and we are for knowing you

You are going to be busy that might give you a lift all the stuff happening. Hope so you need good things going on Grandy you're so lovely 🤗

It's sweet you really seem interested thanks love that and I didnt get choccy biscuits either on walkies couldnt be bothered with another hill

You're getting your strength back you said you're going to be ok. We're with you darling too and yes you will be ok cause we don't let go of eachother

Yeah I'm going bed nigh nite my lovely Floss (do you want Floss/Grandy or both) hope you get really well rested up beautiful friend and work goes well tomoz 😊

Don't forget your 💼 .. 😆 god you're a cracker

love ya Grandy 😚⚘🌿 peace lovely one

[Guest8901]

Just brief for now. Deebs you sound like you are making headway overall. I'm really pleased. I also know you still have a long way to go. Please know I remain here for you, any time you need.

Good night, and sleep well. 💤

Good night to all your other support yeam members too.

Amanda 💜

[Sapphire_]

Hello Deebi.

Im sorry i havent been around lately.

I wanted to thank you for really being there for me on my thread lately. Its been really hard and have been so greatful to see tou have written me enormous encouragement and so caring. Your a wonderful person and i appreciate you.

I see your feeling a bit meh? Do you have pets? I find when im feeling a bit meh, my lil gal is always there to pep me up a bit.

Hope you have a restful night.

💙Sapphire xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi and everyone,

I woke up this morning to a red glow shining through my bedroom window...It looked like the sky was on fire. I went out front to have a look..

The most amazing sunrise I have seen yet...In the horizon, in the sky was the sun rising in the distance, a brilliant bright golden glow, that was beautiful on its own but the sky, wow, it was like looking at a painting, the reds and oranges that spread across the sky with a bit of the blue sky peeking out, it was like a sea of fire spread across the sky..The blue sky looked like it was the ocean and the reds, oranges, golden colours were like the waves breaking on the shoreline, but with the sun coming up at in the horizon, the suns Morning glow added like a brilliant iridescence to every thing...absolutely amazing... A new day has been gifted to us..

I had to share this. I hope everyone 's day today will start out like this mornings sunrise... brand new... pure,...serene and so tranquil...

Love you Deebi..

warm and caring hugs,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..Grandy.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely DB (and all),

I hope you had a good night of rest 🙂

I’m glad you’re going on more walks. Hopefully the sads weren’t too bad.

I see you and Butterfly Wings are having some big discussion about happiness. “No idea” sounds like a very understandable answer.

Maybe you’ll never stop misssing your late love. He was so special as I’m sure you were to him.

Super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

P.S. happily minds choccies 🙂