Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Hi to all the lovely people here,

Gorgeous Grandy: You’re doing great with your reading and replying 🙂 Please don’t worry too much about it. It’s just that I wasn’t clear so that’s on me, not you.

Also, please be reassured that you haven’t “hurt” me in any way. As I’ve said before, the single most important thing is posting from the heart (and you do that beautifully) 😉

I understand what you’re saying, and thank you so much for the gentle reminder to cherish those moments of joy in between...very moving...

I was originally going to launch into something about opportunity costs in response, etc, but figured that I might start giving everyone a headache, so I’ll just leave that one be 😉

Thank you for being the loving, kind person you are 🙂 We are all very blessed. Love and care xoxo

Wonderful DB: Thank you so much for your thoughtful & caring post. I know you spent a lot of time thinking about it, which makes it that much more special....you’re a lovely friend 🙂

I agree with you that having nice colleagues makes work more enjoyable. Sorry, I feel as though I haven’t been clear. My bad...I wasn’t talking strictly about work, but I can understand why you would think that. I meant goals in a broad sense 😉

Yes, gorgeous Grandy and beautiful birdy both wrote fantastic posts and I’m very thankful for both of them (and for you & others too) ...

I can see why you might think that self confidence is an issue. Thank you for caring so much...

But I actually think my confidence is okay... I’m not overly confident but I don’t think that I’m lacking either. Maybe I come across as having low confidence because I don’t say too many “positive things” about myself and/or have certain expectations.

Self esteem is something that is a quiet presence in me. It’s self knowledge/awareness that I don’t usually feel the need to articulate or express to another person. I believe self esteem can manifest itself in many different ways...

I get that for some people it’s more about public affirmation, etc, which is brilliant & I have nothing against that 🙂 But for others, like me, self esteem might be something that is felt but doesn’t necessarily need to be “voiced.”

Neither is better or worse than the other. Just different conceptualisations.

How about I throw in some extra choccie bars as interest for the late delivery (& for the hug)? I’ll take that soup too btw! Lol.

Your presence and insight is greatly appreciated here. Super soul hugs and much love xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Peppy, Deebi, Birdy..

I really hope so much that you are all better then okay...

Im just popping in to say hello and remind you dear Peppy it the weekend tomorrow...Yay...Now it’s time for some you time....Work finished yesterday and went down with the sunset to sleep until Monday and it took with it all the stress, pressure and anxiety of work with it...

Take time this weekend dear friend to sit outside, with a beverage of your choice, close your eyes for a few minutes and see things in a different way...hear the birds, the bees, the rustling of the leaves as the breeze blows, feel the breeze on your skin, the sun warming you up...Maybe go shopping...take a long soak in the bath or shower..enjoy your weekend lovely friend the best way you can..💜🤗🍀..Sending you my love...and some soul hugs 💜💕🤗🤗🤗....

Hi Birdy...I hope your okay honey....sending you my love 💜..and big hugs...I didn’t know you had 2 fur buddies...Do they play with your chickens?...Sorry if you said before, my mind has a habit of forgetting things a lot...Please take good care of you dear friend...You have such a beautiful caring heart....I wish you had lots of happiness in your life..it’s just so unfair that good people hurt so much...

Deebi...hello dearest bbff..I heard the words chocolate 🍫 and Deebi...I went in search of them and bingo I found you and the 🍫 here at Peppy’s warehouse....ummm I think I deserve a BIG block for being so smart and finding you and some 🍫 here....

Good Night beautiful ladies..sleep well and dream sweetly and tomorrow is a brand new day...each of us has a day of our very own..How Good is that?..let’s make it a good day..🍀😂🍫🌈🌲🎃..

Grandy..xxoo

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely gentle Peppystar and beautifuls 🤗

You express yourself so beautifully Peppy I admire that and your gentle way about you.

I'm so pleased hearing you do have confidence and self esteem. I often misunderstand esp in poor mh 🙃 so ages back I got the wrong impression so my love you're off the hook 😁 you lucky girl 🤗

Thanks so much being the lovely person you are seeing how I might have misunderstood.

Looking at career from a non career perspective which I understand now you meant in general but this could apply to any situation in life where someones feeling they havent reached their potential in comparison to others around them I think in life our most important position to be, is enjoying what we're doing. People have many reasons for high or not achievements but the high achievers as our gorgeous Birdy I think or Grandy mentioned also live and put themselves in a position of extremely high stress.

Please tell me if I'm off balance (well we know that 😆) again.

Anyhoo I'll gladly ...even graciously although the choccy 🍫 grab may be fast and clumsy accept extra.. many thanks dear Pepples (how are we going with Pepples btw 😆) and uh oh.. oh dear what a shame did I forget the soup 🙄. Doing another batch lovey I'll gladly give you a generous extra... teaspoon

Lot of love and appreciation to you lovely friend. 🤗 I really hope you're feeling better lovey and btw hun this is your thread to express your self I feel if you want to give us a headache 🤕 😉 go for it Peps we'll be listening 🍃

Hey beautiful Birdy mmm that doesnt sound right 🤔

So warming hearing you love my bbff 💑 and I. Honestly absolutely same back sweety tweety yip that's what was missing Tweety 🐣

I so hope you're feeling better too and Peps of course. I'm coming to your thread admittedly its nearly the next decade, a few factors in the order I reply and was 😭 biggly last few but doesn't a whopping load of 😴 make life more bearable. See you in near future beautiful tweety love. 🤗 you are another here in my thoughts with love and care.

☘🍫+ 💑bbff + 🐣💗

[Birdy77]

Hello Friend,

Firstly, thank you so much for your exceptionally lovely , loving and generous words to me. You are so encouraging and a really gorgeous person.

I hope my recent reply didn't frustrate you or leave you feeling misunderstood. I absolutely know that money & power are not priorities for you & that you were not referring to these things but rather to goals & accomplishments in a much broader sense. I just happened to think of those examples as a way to illustrate my clumsy point about different goals/ideals = different sacrifices/energy expenditure etc.

Which is quite possibly a really convoluted way of saying something along the lines of your concept of opportunity costs. Or maybe not. There's a huge chance I have no idea what I'm talking about. Feel free to say whatever you'd like I'm sure it will give us all less of a headache than my paragraphs above.

I just ... I guess wanted to encourage you, as you make your own path, to not hold yourself hostage to others' methodologies or standards. Their sacrifices will be different to your sacrifices & can't be compared. I know you hold very high standards for yourself, which is awesome ... but please also allow yourself some breathing space as well. And maybe before moving on to the next goal, honour the achievement you have just made. You said to me recently that each small step or accomplishment should be celebrated. Cheers to that.

How have you been feeling lately? You mentioned you were feeling over-it in relation to the big changes that you're trying to implement. I hope you are not disheartened. Change is hard work. I'm always listening if you want to talk about anything. I do understand about feeling over it at times, but not sure if it's the same as yours .. mine is frustration with a feeling like trying to swim up a waterfall or something. Exhausting. I dunno. I think you understand.

How are your travel plans coming along? Have you been learning any French yet? Don't forget mrs b's advice about learning during zzzz time.

Grandy, do not worry, my brain forgets loads of stuff too. My doggies are a bit too immature to know how to play nicely with the chooks, but they get really cranky (through the chook fence) when the girls lie down for a sunbake or a dust bath I do not know why!

Thank you to the bbffs as always xo.

My character-counter no longer works, so I'm unsure if I'm up to the word limit.

Sending you my love,

🌻birdy xo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

You’re always so nurturing with your ability to appreciate all that is around you...the scenery you described was enchanting. Peace and joy in the picture that you painted 😉

Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your gift with us....

Gentle hugs and much love to you xoxo

Hi wonderful DB,

Please don’t worry about it. No harm done. I don’t always express my mental process clearly, plus I know you always have the best intentions, & that’s enough for me 😉

It might help to explain that it was less about the outcome than it was the process (endurance, perseverance, consistency and grit) that I was referring to. The swimmer who gets up at 5am daily to train. The single parent who does everything s/he can to give his/her children the best possible chance in life. The dancer who trains hours each day to perfect the art. Etc.

It’s their process that makes me question my own commitment. It’s not about competition, comparison or my ego, but it’s about looking to people who possess something that I admire, so I can learn....sorry if I confused a lot of people before...

I feel someone else’s greatness is a source of inspiration, not intimidation 😉

Thanks, as always, for your heartfelt presence & compassionate nature xoxo

Dear friend/beautiful birdy,

Your posts come straight from your heart. I couldn’t ask for anything more, my friend. I’m truly grateful, especially when I know you’ve been struggling yet make time for me. That means the world.

Your gentle reminder to celebrate each step, reflecting my own words back at me made me smile. It always surprises me when people do that, because I don’t expect people to pay attention 🙂

Thank you so much for clarifying. I think (?) that I get what you meant now. I’m very sorry for misunderstanding you before...

Lol. I didn’t coin “opportunity cost.” It’s a principle about how choosing between 2 mutually exclusive options means there is an inevitable “cost” for the option you forgo. I 1st came across it in an online newspaper. It’s mostly used in economics, but I feel it can be extended to general decision making...

When I say I’m over it, yes, as you kindly suggested, there is some exhaustion where I’m sick of something or someone (don’t worry, no one here on the forums and certainly not you).

Thank you for always listening and supporting me. It means more than you know to be your friend

How have you been? I often wonder how you’re doing and send my love....xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello Friend 😊

Haha that's ok, I looked up opportunity costs when you mentioned it to Grandy, because I had not heard the term before, that's why when I read it I thought hmmm, I think that's kind of what I'm trying to say, but I'm doing it in a really complicated way.

I understand that you mean the process of commitment and dedication. Hey, at least I showed dedication to the task of trying to explain what I meant? Merit certificate for me!

How are you feeling today?

It is an absolutely stunning morning here and I am just taking a break from overhauling a section of veg patch to make room for the last of my garlics to be planted. Trying to stay in the moment and not to project towards this Sunday as it's one of those days on the calendar that require a huge amount of gritting my teeth😬😬 trying not to lose my *cool* 🤬, etc ... deeeeep breaths .... love and light, love and light ..... 😇😇😇 (😖). Could I borrow some of that Grit of yours if you have any to spare.

I have been up and down, mostly ok the last few days ... how about you?

With love,

🌻birdy

[Peppermintbach]

Dear friend/beautiful birdy,

I’m very happy to hear that you’re feeling a little better, despite the ups and downs...

It pleases me greatly to hear that you’ve been out in your garden. I know it is a place of peace, meaning and self-care for you 🙂 Your garden is coming along nicely. Please keep us updated on how it goes if you like...

Sunday sounds intense and perhaps infuriating. Obviously, there’s no pressure but do you want to talk about it? I’m listening if you want to unload...

Sigh, I have come down with a cold or flu (I can’t tell which it is). So I’m quite irritated with myself because my thoughts are “I don’t have time to get sick!” Typical me. Lol.

It’s been a bit of a rough time for a whole range of reasons. Issues with family and family with serious illness, plus other issues and pressures. Just life, I guess...

Much love to you too,

Pepper xoxox

[Birdy77]

Hello Friend,

I am sorry to hear you're not feeling well, but I'm thinking you might have taken some time off work, which is good.

I think sometimes our bodies bring on things like cold and flus in response to our minds, almost like a way of necessitating slowing down & taking it easy & taking care of ourselves when we haven't been doing that in our normal day to day. How about listening to your body and giving it the down-time it's asking for? You need it. The other things that are making you think "ain't nobody got time for this!!" can wait. They really can. Be good to Pepper please, on my behalf.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with serious illness in your family, on top of other issues with them. I can relate to that a lot, and the difficulties and sometimes conflicting feelings that accompany that situation. It can be very tricky. Family hey? Not a walk in the park

[Birdy77]

Whoops A Daisy.

I hit "post this reply" accidentally.

Would you like to talk about any if the family issues (even generally) that are causing you upset?

Sunday is just one of those days I'm going to have to get through. Spend Saturday cooking/preparing, leave Sunday morning and hope the dogs don't get too sick on the 4 hour journey, then arrive at the House Of Pure Annoyance. (I just deleted about 2500 characters explaining the annoyances -
it's way too boring for you to hear). Spend a few hours gritting teeth and putting up with rudeness from mrs b's brother, aka Golden Boy, pack everything up and travel 4 hours home again and breathe a massive sigh of relief until the next compulsory family get together.

Oh, and, did I tell you that mrs b's mother complained about a present that we bought her last time?

Seriously, it drives me up the wall.

Do you have obligations this weekend? I hope it's not as irritating as mine.

Love,

🌻biddy xo

[Ggrand]

Hello Peppy, Birdy Deebi and all...

Apprentice ⛑ nurse Grandy is coming over to look after you dearest Peppy....I’ll make you a big bowl of vegetable 🥦🍆🌶🥕🥔🍠 soup..with plenty of detoxing herbs and spices....After dinner it’s a hot shower/bath..While your doing that I’ll make you and your other beautiful friends a nice hot cup of lemon, mint, parsley and chamomile tea.....then into bed nice and early for you....🤗🤗..and I’ll light you some scented lavender, rose, and the half eaten chocolate candle 😂...for you until you fall asleep sleep..

I am sorry your not feeling well darling...Please take good care of you.....and try hard to get plenty of rest and plenty of fluids in you .I’m hoping it’s just a cold and not the 🤒 🤧 😷....sending my love dear friend..

Hello Birdy...Sunday sounds like it’s not going to be a day your looking forward to....I’m sorry you have to go through that on Sunday....I can relate to some of what you spoke about...I’m just wondering if you could instead of going straight home..because I’m thinking of the long trip both ways in a day....would it be possible to stop over at a motel on your back home...There’s getting more and more dog friendly motels these days...and enjoy a refreshed drive home the next day?....just my thoughts dear friend...I wish you all the luck I have that Sunday is manageable for you...please sweety..don’t let them pull you down...Try to remember the beautiful caring person you are...Don’t believe them or your depression....believe your friends in r/l and here...also sending my love to you 💜 dear friend..

Deebi....Hello..🤗💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.....

Sending everyone caring hugs and love...💖 💕 🤗🤗..

Grandy..