Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Hope everything goes well with the appointment with your psychologist tomorrow. Keep chasing up when you can see your psychiatrist too as you could do with his support atm.

I think you would be surprised by how much your family do care about you. However, it is probably hard to believe when you are feeling so low.

I’m sorry to hear that things seem to be getting worse rather than better. Please take Sophie’s advice and ring the emergency numbers to get some extra support.

Just a quick update on Poppy. She was reviewed by the vet today and he is really happy with her. The heart and lungs sound much better now and she can stop one of the medications (she will need the other one for life). We don’t need to go back for another month so I am really relieved.

Take good care of yourself Saree, you are worth it xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

Glad poppy will be ok Jojo. That's great news.

Appointment was bad. Everything is bad. She almost called the police on me, instead follow up with CAT if they do.

Sorry. Just not good

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_P, 

You're showing so much strength in finding support, we're sorry your appointments didn't go the way you'd hoped. You're a really valued member of this community so we always appreciate the updates. 

Please remember you can call us on 1300 22 4636 at times of distress, there will always be a kind and supportive person on the other end of the phone for you. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[Saree_p]

Hi Sophie,

Apparently I haven't lost my job..... my manager just conveyed the situation badly.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry to hear your appointment didn’t go well today. It’s not clear to me why it went so bad. Could you please help me understand what happened? (It’s okay if you don’t want to share details).

I hope you do get followed up by community mental health services like they are supposed to.

My heart goes out to you Saree as it must be extremely difficult right now since it sounds like nothing is going right for you.

Have you tried ringing any of the emergency numbers Sophie mentioned as the people are very understanding and compassionate?

Please keep in touch if and when you can. Don’t cut yourself off and be alone feeling like you do.

Stay safe and strong xox

With lots of love and hugs Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Sorry it's been a while again.

Ended back up in hospital, but back to being ok.... well that was up until I got asked for a resignation this morning. Feel really bad. Basically told I'm too unstable to work, despite that I'm good at my job.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree_p, 

We are really sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time with your work, especially when you had been feeling ok recently. We can only imagine how this must be making you feel, but we want you to know that we are here for you if you ever want to talk. You can call us on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to speak to a counsellor who can help you to process these feelings. 

If you feel that you have been treated unfairly you can raise this with the Fair Work Ombudsman. For more information you can have a look at our article on your rights when managing your mental health at work as well. Its important to say that our advice is general in nature as we don't know the particulars, but we wanted you to have the information so you can go through it. 

We hope that the time in hospital was helpful for you and that you are able to speak about how you are feeling with your treating team and community supports. Thank you for being brave and hsaring your experience on the forums, we hope it can helpful for you. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

[Saree_p]

Thanks Sophie M,

Technically I could chase the job legally, but I don't see the point. I'm not worth that. I also do not have the energy. It's just fun being told that you are not considered stable enough despite the fact you are good at your job.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry to hear you have been in hospital again and also you had to resign from your job. Sophie gave you some good advice, but I can understand if you don’t feel you have the energy to follow through with those options.

Maybe now is the time to consider trying a new direction such as studying and getting some new skills? You are still young and it might help to have something new to focus on.

Take good care of yourself xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙋‍♀️

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

I know Sophie gave me some great advice, but just too difficult atm.

I'm just really low. AGAIN. Meds are not where they should be and realistically what's the point. I had several clients that I know won't know if they are ok.

I am looking at a different career, but limited options. I guess I am hoping I am not going to be alive long enough.

Hope you and your baby are ok and safe