Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Sophie_M]

Hi Saree,

Thanks for sharing this here. We’re really sorry to hear how you're feeling. We are reaching out to you privately, so please know that you have our support. If you'd like to reach us directly, either on 1300 22 4636, or via webchat (11am-12am AEDT), we'd be really happy to talk things through with you.

This community is here with you, Saree. Please feel free to share a bit more about how you're feeling, and how the community might be able to support you through this.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Sorry things are not going well for you and sound overwhelming atm. However, you definitely are strong. In fact, one of the strongest people I know. You have endured so much and yet with each obstacle you have still managed to pull through.

So don’t give up now Saree you are not a quitter. I believe in you. You can get through this time.

It’s frustrating having to wait for appointments or change of meds. So try and focus on the here and now and the things you can control. Also find things that are a distraction for you such as a puzzle or sudoku.

Thinking of you. Take care my dear friend xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗👋🐾

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,

Been a long time. Things seem to be deteriorating further.

I feel over this world and ready to move on to the next one.

How are you dear old friend?

[Sophie_M]

Hey Saree_p,

Welcome back to the forums, we're glad to see your familiar name. We're sorry to hear you've been struggling recently. If you feel up to it, please feel free to share more about how you've been managing as of late. We'd also like to let you know that we've sent a private email to check in with you. 

We'd also urge you to contact Lifeline if you're experiencing overwhelming thoughts that are becoming hard to manage. They can be contacted by phone on 13 11 14 or via webchat through the following link: https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat (The online chat is available 7pm-12am). 

[Saree_p]

Thanks Sophie,

I don't think I have managed off late, more like I have existed.

I'm currently back in hospital and am going through a med changes. in the process of coming off 3 and going onto another 3. I have just come out of a manic cycle which was heavily medicated. Now the all to familiar depression is hitting. I feel like depression is all my life is these days.

Ontop of this, I had some new flash backs of things I wasn't aware off occur last week. These are now hitting home as I am not manic.

Sorry guys

[Saree_p]

A low night.

Came on here to see if Jojo had been in touch or anyone and as it turns out no one has.

Not even married a week and things are wrong. Life is crap and over.

Didnt even make it through the ceremony for people to have a clear issue because I have bipolar.

Under a week and my job is in question due to a extensive NDIS search which has shown a MH condition - so how can I have a WWVP.

not even a week and my husband is sleeping in bed and I'm on the couch.

I'm not the one in the wrong, but I wear it.

I'm done trying. Done caring. Done worrying about everyone else that can't give anything about me.