Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Guest_1643]

Hi Katy -

How are u feeling? What is it about this time of the year?
The flowers look pretty but, like everything else in my apartment, not really set up properly

I don't have much storage or table space so they are just on the floor in a vase. It does look fine though, but it would b nice if i could find a little table, then maybe I could put a crystal, a book, and the floowers together in a little display.
I will probably be leaving the forums shortly... as my MH has not been good and i'm getting pretty unwell.
I hope u feel better and enjoy ur books and that u get to walk with ur friend

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy (waves to Sleepy!)

Did you manage to walk with your friend? I have given up on the Flanagan book, I'm going to return it this afternoon, I know it's clever but it just isn't holding my interest... I hope your book is better.

I just wanted to pop by and see how you are, I've been a bit weepy which is unusual for me, I think maybe it's just Christmas and it's no fun if you don't have family to spend it with.. ugh.

oxoxo Let us know how you are...

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

"what is it about this time of the year?" - indeed! So hard for people already struggling.

Sleepy, I'm sorry to hear that your MH is in decline. You'll be missed if you go, but understand you need to do what's best for you. I hope you're able to get the support you need, to manage. Sending you kind thoughts.

My friend was busy with family, which is a bit upsetting, as I really wanted some company. I walked Storm and found a branch to decorate with baubles for my lounge room.

Hanna, I'm sorry you're feeling teary. It's understandable at this time of year, though. Have you heard anything further from your brother? I'm hoping my son will come for Christmas, but he cancelled last minute last year, so I don't want to hope too much. Can you do something nice for yourself today? Or maybe have a good cry, instead of a few tears, and really purge it out?

I've got to do things I don't want to do - like grocery shopping, ringing Housing, and talking to uni about prac next year. Blergh. Might just read my book and ignore them all...

Let us know how you're going, and do keep in mind the BB lines. I found them really lovely last time I rang.

Katy xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, a quick post as I've had no wifi signal all afternoon .... sorry your friend was busy when you wanted company... good that you had Storm to take out with you...

I would give everything up today I am no good on Mondays, it goes back to when I was working full time.. . what is that old song that goes "rainy days and Mondays always get me down"!!!!

I hope things pick up for us tomorrow... hugs

[Hanna3]

How are you going Katy? I hope you are doing OK there. Did you get a few things on your list of "to do's"accomplished? Anyway, sending hugs.

[Guest_1643]

thanks so much

how did u go with the gorgeous twigs?

i saw on marie kondo's website she has these wicker type bags you hang on the wall - then u put flowers in it - it made me think i could get baskets or something for dried flowers... there are some interesting ways ppl display them on pinterest. Hope ur enjoying ur books and getting some rest in

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

It's the most gorgeous day here today! I just love days like this - sunny with a gentle breeze - makes me feel good.

I went to outdoor yoga last night, and it was really enjoyable. The instructor has decided to run it again next week, as it was so good - just in a park with people walking their dogs, and ducks, magpies, and even a kookaburra about. Perfect! So much better than indoor yoga. Hopefully she'll run more sessions in the new year.

How's things with you? I hope you're feeling a little more cheerful today than last we "spoke". Did Rosemary like her gift? It sounded delicious.

I've been getting crafty again (don't know what's going on there!). I'm still getting Storm's Christmas outfit done - I guess I should hurry up with that. And I also put together a display with coral, shells, and an airplant in a glass container that I found at Kmart. I love how it turned out.

Feels so nice to be in a good mental space - today at least. There hasn't been much of that for some time. Although, I do have to go and see the uni people tomorrow. Will try not to think about that for now!

Sending lots of calm peaceful happy vibes your way, Katy x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

You do sound happier, that's good! Yoga outdoors sounds lovely and relaxing - they have a big group here that do it in the park too... I don't do yoga as I did my back in years ago doing the downward dog, and I've been warned never to do yoga again.. but it looks relaxing doing it outdoors.

Yes about time we all got to see Stormy's Christmas outfit please!!! There's a Christmas carols service at the cathedral here on Saturday afternoon, I think I will go along, the choir is lovely and it might be nice to do something Christmassy!

I have a couple of gifts to wrap, all the Xmas cards have been sent, Christmas is coming up fast now - and I'll be quite happy to kick 2020 away...

I am trying to find a book to read and I can't seem to settle on anything - do you ever have that happen? I try one and then another and nothing works... rats.

One of my favourite library staff was on at the library today, things were quiet so we had a nice long chat - her husband is a backing player in a rock band so we got onto things musical... which was nice.

Very hot here tomorrow and the next day, and storms.

I hope we see Stormy in a Xmas outfit soon! oxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Sleepy

We must have cross-posted yesterday. I'm pleased to see you here, and hope you're managing ok. Wicker baskets sound interesting - I can't picture what that might look like, in my head, but I imagine you could get pretty creative with dried flowers. My only experience of dried flowers is hanging fresh flowers upside down by string on a curtain rod to dry them out. I remember doing this as a teen when a boy gave me flowers lol

I have a "scary" meeting at uni today to discuss my prac for next year. The last prac I did was so hard, I just don't think I can do it again. It nearly did me in MH wise. I'm trying to tell myself it's ok - it's just a conversation, but oh gee. Our brains can be our enemy at times, right?

I hope you're doing ok and finding some nice things to fill in your time 🙂

Katy

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

Yes, I have times when I can't find any book I enjoy, which is why it's always nice to have a good "to be read" pile. In fact, I might go to the Salvos today and see what else I can find, even though I have 2 piles already lol. There's a book at Kmart/Big W called "Nothing Much Happens", which is supposed to be pleasant/non-triggering reading if you're looking for something gentle over the Christmas break. I haven't read it though, so I probably shouldn't be recommending it, but it is based on a popular podcast.

I'm so nervous about my meeting at the uni this afternoon. I wish I'd got in earlier and asked if you had any advice - you give good advice. For now I'll have to stick with trying to remember what my psych says, which is not to label the meeting as scary or horrible or whatever, as that doesn't allow for the possibility of it being anything else if I've already made up my mind about it. I have butterflies and nervous tears already - darn. Maybe I'll meditate before I go...

Hope you're doing ok. Let us know what you're up to xo