Not in a good space

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎09-12-2019

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

Guest_1643 · ‎25-06-2020

Hi Katy,

Good luck for your results, it will be nice I hope for you to get them back 🙂

Hope the yoga is going well and you're taking care of yourselves. I get so anxious about running the heater too... I have no idea which ones are expensive to run (i have a few portable ones) so it's all just experimentation until the heating bill comes back! xx Keep well

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎30-06-2020

iitzMickle, Hanna, OW, sleepy, any other lovelies 🙂 🙂

Lovely to see you all in here. I hope you're all well. I'm on a well deserved break - although I wish someone would bring back the sunshine - we've had some very wet and windy weather! Today was netflix in bed after I did some things yesterday which were really hard for me (with anxiety). I'm glad I managed to do them as I felt really great about that, but it was draining. We all have things which challenge us, so I'm sure you guys understand.

Sometimes I get almost a panic attack when I think about how long I've been "unwell" for. I just wish I could find the reset button, and make everything feel much more manageable. But such is life.

Take care guys. Always up for a chat if anyone wants to say hi 🙂

Hanna3 · ‎30-06-2020

We had sunshine today Katy but that means the nights are freezing because there's no cloud cover... my hot water system decided to konk out last night so I've had plumbers all over the place today - tonight had a lovely truly hot shower, the old hot water system must have been barely ticking over... but I am a bit over things going wrong in this house!

Are you reading anything good? I enjoyed Fleishman is in Trouble, especially the last half which concentrated on his relationship with his children and his wife's side of the story - now i'm reading Loving Daughters by Olga Masters - only one chapter in so far but I'm already loving it!

Sorry to hear about the anxiety - has yoga been enjoyable? Sending warm wishes xoxo

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎09-07-2020

So much anxiety and depression every day at the moment, and it's been spilling over into my sleep. I've been having nightmares where I can feel this incredible frustration and anger, which leads to me "doing very bad things" to people, and I wake up feeling awful. That's if I can sleep, as sleeplessness occurs many nights too.

I'm doing yoga twice weekly, which I really enjoy. It's the only time I seem to be out of my head and just in the moment. Apparently if you practice often enough that calm yoga mind can carry over into the every day. Gosh I hope so. I need some peace and quiet from my internal dialogue.

Once again - not in a good space 😞

Guest_1643 · ‎09-07-2020

Hey Katy

Sorry to read you are struggling and feeling not in a good space

The nightmares sound really upsetting and hard. It is pretty terrible having nightmares, 😞

I'm trying to add a few things to my room to feel less stressed and anxious from similar problems. Last night I went full pillow fort, and it helped somewhat. Trying to ward off the bad thoughts.

Hope the yoga is calming and beautiful and you and your dog are coping okay during these difficult times. It's okay to not be okay. x

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎10-07-2020

Hey Sleepy

Sorry you're having a rough time too. I love the idea of a pillow fort. Thanks for the reply - feeling pretty lonely too.

Take care, Katy x

Paw Prints · ‎11-07-2020

Hello Katy,

Here is a big bear hug for you lass & Woofa sends you gentle snuffles.

How did you go putting all your pot plants back outside? Have you settled on a spot for the new bunny? I'm wishing I had a green thumb like you, the number of healthy pot plants here is dropping off rapidly.

Lass I'm sorry to hear you are having sleep problems. Do you have something in place for you to do if you wake from a nightmare that can help to calm you & let you go back to sleep. I'm thinking of something that you need to concentrate on to stop the bad thoughts in their tracks, such as trying to memorise a poem you like. That breaks the thought track & makes you think of something nice as well. I use giving Woofa a detailed once over, as he sleeps on my bed next to me.

I hope Stormy is doing well.

More hugs

Paws

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎12-07-2020

Hi Paws

The poor pot plants get a bit neglected when depression kicks in too, but I did spend today in the back yard. I did some weeding and some shuffling around pots. Mr lovely bunny is standing guard and is a cheerful addition. I'm still waiting on the housing department to fix the fence panels that fell down in the storms a few weeks back, then the yard will look tidier.

I hope you're going ok. It's nice that we have dogs for company. On the nights I can't sleep or have bad dreams i'm grateful to have a sleepy pup at hand. Yes, I really need to put more strategies in place. Sometimes to get off the thought spiral I repeat "apple, yoghurt, seaweed", but a poem sounds much nicer. Thankyou as ever for your thoughtful advice.

Hugs back at you. Even virtual hugs are lovely x

Hanna3 · ‎13-07-2020

Hi Katy, I don't know if it's my computer I'm finding the posts and replies all over the place and not in date order.... I hope you are travelling a bit better... I have a heap on my plate at the moment to deal with so am not in a good state to help much, just wanted to say hello and take care xoxo

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎22-07-2020

Do you ever just feel like you don't fit anywhere? I just can't seem to get things right. I need help. I want help. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I understand why people give up. There isn't anything. There's just "you". And you can't get away from yourself. Or you can... With finality. That's it.