Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

I'm sorry to hear about you problems with your cat. Yep the money problems are ongoing aren't they?!!

The weather there sounds nice at the moment at least!

I should be in the library typing an email to the local Mp about the cost of the lawn maintenance here which is just insane but after shopping and walking Sam I'm having a bad fatigue day so I'm having to rest.

Excuse me if I'm not around much the rest of today. Am OK just need to rest up.

Good luck with the housework I agree about boring!

Handed in the laptop this morning he hopes he can replace the hard drive tomorrow there goes over a hundred dollars and I paid the same last week. Eeek.

But if we have lock down music will be via zoom so I'll need it.

The town is almost empty everyone trying not to go out much and stop a lock down. I must say I admire how much people here are trying their best to stop this virus here.

Hugs! 🌞🧚‍♂️💕🎆🦘😷🧁

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Sunshine????? I have a vague memory of what that is...lol

That's not good news about your kitty... many years ago I was faced with that dilemma of having a Lab who needed meds I just couldn't afford... it is so very hard... one possible thing is if the meds are the same as human ones ask the vet for a script you can take to the chemist... pbs is much cheaper...

I vote for staying in the sunshine... housework can always wait.

Hugs

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hiya

Well the sunshine was short lived and I avoided the housework by moping in bed. Ooops. Kitty has thyroid issues so will go on a special diet - that’s 3/3 now, so I’m probably never eating again. Could be worse.

If you guys get our rain, will you also get that few hours of sunshine? I hope so! Boy it was delicious!

Hugs to you both. Bit tired and meh here too. Katy

[golden82]

Hi Katy,

Just seen your lovely reply to us all. Thanks for thinking of us, especially when you were having a traumatic day. Nope, I don't have a thread, I don't think anyway. I just read some ppls threads and post from time to time.

You sound more upbeat today 🙂 I hope it was a good day for you and one of many more.

I have been very down. I am in Adelaide and was same as you "not in a good space", then we went into hard lockdown and I have got worse. I live alone and have no one, so the isolation, loneliness, and cPTSD gets too much. I have been ringing the helplines even if just to escape my thoughts for a bit. I am terribly let down by ppl I thought as good ppl who know my situation and did not bother to reach out with even a msg of "hi". And then even more so when I reached out and got no response. I feel utterly worthless as a human being. Just a waste of space really.

The helplines try keep me hanging on, but as I told them there is only so much pain a person can take. At least they are there if needed and there is this forum. I like reading along with threads such as yours to feel a little connected and less alone. And to read the honest struggles others have - I had one just yesterday - my car has been keyed by some coward!! In my carpark space within my units. It looks to cost $1000 approx to fix - just because some scumbag wants to do damage. Ppl like this are what is wrong in the world. Best wishes for your cat's good health - animals are so very special. Take care, from Golden 🙂

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Golden, and anyone else popping by 🙂

Golden it’s lovely you jump in people’s threads and offer support, even though it seems something lacking in your life at the moment. It shows your generous spirit. Karma unfortunately doesn’t always recognise such generosity, and some rotten so-and-so has damaged your car. I’m sorry they did that. I’m never sure what kind of person takes pleasure in such things!

Do you have many covid cases there? Do you think lockdown will last long? I get confused what’s happening where. But, yes, I imagine that’s really hard for you being isolated. Good on you for making use of the helplines. You’re so not worthless at all, either. It says a lot about the character of the people who chose not to reach back out to you, and nothing at all about you. Try to remind yourself of all the lovely support you give to people here, and recognise the value of that. I know I’ve appreciated when you’ve jumped on and supported me when I’ve been low.

Well I’ve been at the vet again today. One cat has thyroid issues, and the other, kidney. Poor things are both old. The cat got a lovely snuggle from the vet today though, and it looked so sweet I took a photo (with permission). That was nice.

You take care, lovely human. And remember you’re always welcome here. I hate the thought of you feeling lonely. I’d FaceTime you with my cat if it was an option! Take care, Katy 🐈‍⬛

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

Hope you're going OK. How are the cats?

I have GP appointment today and hope to hear something positive about my laptop!!!

Hugs 💖🐕🐾😷

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Im feeling eleventy shades of yuk about going to prac next week. If anyone has any words of wisdom that might help, please do share!

I’ve bravely messaged to say “hi, please expect me”. And emailed to set up a meeting with my external supervisor for later next week.

Doing all this from bed. Oh dear. Will I ever be “in a good space”? Feel like I’ve gotta climb Everest and I’m curled up knackered at the base.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Your burst of sunshine finally made it all the way over here... Woofa was delighted... It looks like you are about to get another damaging cold front... I don't think I've ever seen so many fronts hitting WA in such a short period of time... I worry all this wet, cold weather is affecting your mh as it must be limiting your ability to get out in nature... being stuck indoors gives your mind time to stress over things...

Wisdom isn't my strong point despite getting old... all I can offer is what I have suggested in the past... break everything down into manageable bite sizes & do as much prep as possible for all the little things that can trip you up or seem like major things when we stress.... start of by working out now in advance what you will wear each day... that way you don't have the daily stress of trying to think what to wear... work out now how you will get there... plan out your getting up... getting ready... getting dressed... give yourself extra time to fit these things in so you don't start each day feeling rushed... make your lunch the night before...

One idea is to think now about what you might do if you find yourself stressing... focus on sipping water... take a break in the ladies... try to think what the person you are with might find stressing... think of something nice you could do at the end of each day to reward yourself for managing...

Believe you can do this... keep reminding yourself... you have made it this far lass... be proud of yourself simply for trying...

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

I'm home late - thank you for your birthday wishes for Sam!

I'm reading Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life at the moment and re your prac he would say Stand up straight and put your shoulders back!

Act confident and you will feel more confident.

You know you can get through the prac.

You will manage. We all have your back as well.

Hugs. 🐾🎁🙂🎈🎂🎊

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Katey,

I have seen a lovely lady come onto these forums, and continue to grow mentally each week, by helping others when herself has been struggling so hard...That lovely person is you dear Katey....You have a great deal of strength and want, with lots of care for so many people here....

I know you can do your prac...Please hold on to that beautiful quality you have for others, grab hold of the strength of your want, you help others with....and the confidence you give others to move forward in their struggles, is inside of you...and then Katey you have a recipe for success....

As Hanna said...Stand up straight and put your shoulders back!....You got this lovely lady....and you got us as well to help you through your prac if you need some encouragement, we are always here for you...like you are for us and many others...

I know you can do this....You’ve come this far...Keep your dream alive and full steam ahead beautiful Katey...

My kindest thoughts..

Grandy..