Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy and everyone

A scary movie - well whatever works!!! Talking with your psych sounds like a good idea. Hope you're feeling a tad better.

I'm up late on a gloomy overcast day.

Thanks Katy I'll post something on my thread sometime.. Re my teacher... One wounded person meets another wounded person, it's a recipe for a sweet and difficult relationship. He's a very sensitive guy. I need to do some thinking! It's OK.

Hugs 🐕🌼

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

How are you today lass??... I hope now you have slept on things you are feeling at least a bit pleased with yourself for managing the meeting... to say out loud to a psych/counsellor what we are going through I've found can open the flood gates to all the painful emotions we have been carrying around... to allow yourself to open up to a room full of strangers (which must add to how vulnerable you were feeling)... was very brave & being overwhelmed by it all seems to me very natural

Like Sleepy I'm not a fan of scary movies... I'm more a Shaun the Sheep lass...

I think a walk with Stormy to get a giant pink lamington sounds the go to for today...

Hugs

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Paws

Not quite sure how to feel about things still and can’t see my psych for another month. You’re right though. I don’t like to talk about my anxiety, so to do so in front of a bunch of strangers and to cry as I always do when I talk about it - because it hurts and limits my life so - was super uncomfortable. I’m not sure it served a purpose. I know the group then suggests solutions and readings from “the book”. But I’d rather talk here or to my psych. I don’t know… hmmm

Well I’ve started cleaning for my upcoming rent inspection - yuk! Today I wiped skirting boards, cleaned food off the wall (um, Storm, how?), vacuumed spider webs, cleaned air vents and had to pull out the very heavy washing machine as mr boy cat decided it behind it was a good place to toilet. I deserve a pink lamington! Alas, I’m poor til Tuesday.

By the way - is it EVER going to stop raining? Arrrggghhhh

Hope you’re well, lovely Paws. Hugs to you and ear scratches to your big guy x

[Hanna3]

Hi. Katy

It seems to be endlessly raining here too. It sounds like you've at least managed to get a lot of housework done which is quite an achievement!

I hope you enjoy that pink lamington which sounds well deserved!

Your anxiety must be an absolute pain. Makes me wonder what my teacher must go through. I presume it's agonising and embarrassing. I think he stays alone most of the time. It's a dreadfully isolating condition isn't it?

I wonder how you'd find being a social worker in a psych unit where you'd have wonderful empathy with the people suffering mh problems. I guess again it's the contact and pressure that might make that difficult. You have experiences that would be immensely valuable in a social worker.

I'm about to try a movie on sbs movies. I missed the show on women in parliament on Monday night because the Abc lost signal for hours. I really wanted to watch it.

We'll done for at least giving GROW a second chance which took courage. I'm just sorry it was so tough for you.

Good on you for doing that and the housework and helping me today!

Cheers! 😊🧚‍♂️🦘🌿🐦☔💌

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Good morning

Yes, it is an isolating condition, because you want to be around people but it’s hard to be around them too. So you cut yourself off to feel safe and end up feeling lonely. My online uni friends from out of town are driving to my town for uni prac sessions this semester, even though they could do them online, because they want to catch up with everyone. Meanwhile I’m trying to get out of attending at all. It fascinates me that the thing that terrifies me is the same thing that other people find pleasurable.

Anyway… if you get your laptop fixed you’ll be able watch women in parliament on catch-up tv. More boring housework here today - what are your plans?

Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi. Katy

You give me a good idea of what G must go through. I did get panic attacks when I was younger and they were very debilitating. You're right, you end up avoiding things that otherwise you'd have liked to do. When are your uni friends coming up?

I've walked Sam and had a phone chat with an elderly friend in the city who gets lonely. Now having coffee in the car while I play music and enjoy the view over the mountains!

I was planning to have a nice day out on another town this week but it's in lock down 😕

Town here is very quiet everyone is worried about the virus and we don't want a lock down. I'll have to pay to get the hard drive on my laptop fixed as music lessons may have to go onto zoom at any time... Money money, help!

Got to do some house work this arvo. Sam is definitely turning into a cat these days it's hard to get him off the bed! He snuggles up and doesn't want to move!

Also ducking to the library to get some books in case of lock down! Some people stock up on food I stock up on books and DVDs!!!,

Hope your day is a good one 😊🐦💌🏖️🌅

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hiya

Really really need to start on my thesis and do more cleaning, but I’m still in bed. The weather is miserable and no end in sight. I’d be more motivated if the sun was shining (and I had money for a pink lamington!!!). Yes, money money help!

Did you see the big anti lockdown rallies on the news? That must be an awful worry for you guys in the eastern states. Do stay safe. Hope you found lots of nice entertainment at the library! I’d love to just stay in bed with a good book and Storm curled up warm under the covers ♥️

ok dragging myself out of bed… wish me luck!

Katy 🌧🌧🌧

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

How are you going? I took Sam for a long walk and we had snow and rain at the same time! It was freezing but marvellous fun! I may have to chip the ice off us both...

Yep those protesters are nuts and will spread the virus and everyone here is so anxious and being so careful.

The Spanish Flu gave people Parkinsons Disease in later life and they are warning they are seeing changes in the brains of young people who contract this virus so it's really serious.

I hope you can manage a pink lamington treat for yourself this week! Make it a couple. 😊

My hands are frozen! I'm off to get a hot cuppa!

Hugs! 💖😷🎆🧁🍵🧩🌊🔥

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

Do you have some bad weather heading your way? Hope you are going OK. Sending a hug. 🌞🍃🎆🦘🧩💕😷🌊🧚‍♂️

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Hanna I love that you have fun even in what sounds like terrible weather! Good on you ♥️

Yes, we have another big storm incoming, but at the moment it’s t-shirt weather warm and I’m sitting outside in the sunshine! It’s divine! Especially after having just come back from the vets. My girl cat had another turn last night. The vet said her heart rate is super elevated, and he’s taken blood and will call tomorrow. She may need to go on heart meds which I can’t afford. I don’t even want to think about it for now.

Gosh it’s so nice out here!!!

I have more cleaning to do for my rent inspection - boring!

Let us know how you get on with the laptop.

Hugs, Katy