Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[ecomama]

Hey Katy

Chiming in to say thinking of you.

Sorry to hear you've been unwell.
I'm sorry to hear also that you've felt you have no one to talk to. That sucks.

WE are always here!
I know it's not IRL but I also know it would be, of we could.
Well it'd be a HUGE trip for me but I'm not afraid of lurgies no way - lurgies be gone!

And you wouldn't have to tidy up bec I don't give a hang about any states of ppls houses AT ALL.
Nup.

Soooo imagine we're there.
Caring about you. Comforting you. Making you a hot vege soup with lotsa noodles.

Have you seen those AWESOME Sweet potato noodles in Coles?
OMG THEY ROCK!
About 50c a packet last time I bought them.
More nutritious than wheat for humans lol.

They swell up in a vege soup like fat things and taste delicious.

You can set a Crock Pot up with veg and stock.
Then flake off studying or whatevs.

I then add SOME noodles (not the whole packet dang too many!) to a pot of boiling water on the stove.
Add to soup and YUMMO!

This can last for a day or 2 for studying purposes.
And healing ofcourse.

Sending the purest of healing thoughts to you and all, including your beautiful fur babies.

Love EM

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello all 🙂

The weather has been warm here of late, so I wasn't inspired to make soup (although it probably would have been a good idea!), but I did look for the sweet potato noodles and couldn't find them. They had carrot spirals in the fridge and freezer but no potato noodles. I'm still off sick, but there is a vege garden at my prac, and they have lots of mini aubergines which I'm keen to pick and have a go at cooking.

Thanks for the caring, and the soup suggestion EM x Will be a great idea when it cools down a bit.

Hanna, sorry to hear you've been anxious. Did you manage to bring the level down by sitting and breathing when it hit? You do have a lot going on, and are managing it all very well.

My anxiety has been all over the place. I normally can't talk in zoom meetings as my anxiety hits hard, but I've managed a few times. The other day though, I tried, and my anxiety was massive. I just typed "nope" and turned my camera and mike off and burst into tears. I'm so far from where I need to be in order to pass this year - well, my prac. Will just have to keep plodding on...

Gee - I just saw on the news that big city here is supposed to have 38 degrees on Friday! Hold off on the soup! lol

Oh, and Hanna, my stinky plant is about to flower again! It has a few buds this year, so I'm pretty excited ❤️

Sending kind thoughts to you all. You're such wonderful people x

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy, wave to everyone,

Small steps lass... it's ok that you couldn't manage that particular zoom meeting... you said yourself you have managed some meetings... hold onto that success... be gentle with yourself... perhaps you could try having a calming routine to do before you do any activities you find highly stressful... maybe add calming strategies for while the zoom meeting is happening... you could pat Stormy (or have her on your lap so she can join in the meeting... that would relax everyone)... take a sip of water & focus on that to give yourself a small break... have a fidget toy or a stress ball... have a yummy treat to nibble on... whatever you think might work for you give it a try...

I hope your lurgy is starting to clear up & you are beginning to feel better... remember... rest, fluids & fresh air.

Ummm... do you have a gas mask for when the stinky plant flowers??? Multiple buds must = multiplied smell... I'm curious does Storm show any interest in the smell?

Here is a huggily hug for you & a kiss on her snout for Storm

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Oh I love that the stinky plant is going to flower again! Like Paws, I'm wondering what Stormy makes of it????

Sorry about the anxiety with zoom etc - I've heard lots of people find it confronting actually, so you're not alone. Yes my anxiety attack I think was due to too much to deal with - sciatica pain that has had me almost demented, the eyesight worsening so if I put say, the mobile phone (which is dark) on top of the coffee table (which is dark) I can't find it again as I can't see well enough... I will have to buy a bright coloured case for the phone, and my car keys! I'm learning bit by bit what I need to do to be able to find things in dark places!

And yes, I drove out to the country near the river and did some deep belly breathing and recovered from the anxiety attack - for me, getting out among nature and taking some really deep breaths usually seems to calm me down quite a lot. Financial problems weren't helping either.

You've had a tricky start to the Uni year, but let's hope you're getting the difficult stuff over at the start... you are always very hard on yourself and then you turn out to do very well... so remember that!

Remember you are an excellent student and will do fine at this hons course - you just need to have confidence in yourself!

Cold, grey, gloomy and bleak here for the next two weeks apparently - but I'm adjusting to it! Just it makes the sciatica pain worse, bummer! Little Sam likes his walks in the cooler weather, it's just my legs and back hurt so much I can't walk as long as he and I would like..

Bought a couple of nice tops to wear indoors/outdoors, on lay buy of course so I can pay them off... this time last year we went into lock down for most of the year.. so there was no need for decent clothing for indoors as nothing was open... but now for music lessons/cafes etc I need a few items that are decent enough to be seen in, indoors! I've been enjoying clothes shopping actually, as I haven't done any for about two years! I need shoes desperately... that will be yet another lay buy. I wish I could just purchase what I want and walk out with it... live on the pension!

Have confidence in yourself, you are your own worst critic sometimes! You will get through this year at Uni - after all, you have to, we want to hear all about the graduation ceremony and you can't let us down!!!

Hugs!!!!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi again

Gorgeous day here today, but no energy to enjoy it (well, as I normally would). I'm stuffy and sneezy and off to bed early. I rang my honours friend this morning for a check in and we ended up gas bagging for 2 and a half hours! So that was nice. I didn't do any work on my honours proposal, but I'm actually feeling pretty good about where I'm at with it, so that's ok. I've sent my draft off to my supervisor for feedback - so we'll see.

Zoom meeting tomorrow morning, so I'll take your advice, Paws. Stormy and I will meditate first, and then Zoom together 🙂

And no, she's never paid attention to the stinky flower. I'd not thought of that. Apparently they're supposed to smell like rotten meat, as they are pollinated by blow flies. Mine flowers a gorgeous big yellow bloom. I got a free plant off a lady the other day, similar, hers is red though. It also has buds, so there'll be stink all round!

Hanna, I agree, some deep breaths amongst nature really is quite wonderful. Has the injection helped with your pain at all do you think? Or does it take a bit more time? At the very least now that it's cooler you can get out with Sam more, even if you can't walk as much as you'd like. A walk and sit in the park while the weather is enjoyable I'm sure beats the summer heat. With your eyes I guess it's tricky to know what will be more difficult until you experience it, and then you can work on ways to manage it. Were you still going ahead with the NDIS application? I don't know much about NDIS. I'm actually hoping to learn about it on prac. My vague understanding is that it can help with the cost to meet your particular needs. Is that correct? So, for example, you could get new glasses, or maybe have someone put your globes in seeing as Housing are less than helpful. That would be really great if it works that way, as it is hard being on a tight budget, and it adds to the stress level! Gosh clothes. I'd love to buy some new clothes. Do you have decent thrift stores there? I think we've discussed this before, but I don't recall. I'm waiting for my local one to have their 50% off sale!

Well, still no hugs from me. I'm hoping to be better by Saturday so I can go to a yoga workshop, but I can't see that happening! Maybe they will sell me a spectator ticket and I can sit up the back with a box of tissues? haha

Thanks for being here. Waggy tails from Storm xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Sorry to hear you're still feeling crook. Hope you've improved a bit by the time you read this. Just on quickly as we seem to have a huge weather change and storms coming in after a hot sultry day here - long walk with little Sam this morning.

The sciatica is agony, the injection helped somewhat, but it takes months for this to go away... I can't walk as much as I did, and sitting for any length of time is agony, hence I am on here for short times only!!!!

I don't qualify for the NDIS as monocular vision is not considered a disability, although everyone who has one eye vision says it should be! So no, I don't get any help with things I need unfortunately - bummer!

I am hoping to hear what the stinky plant looks like and smells like this time!!!

Not much other news, I was out for a cuppa this arvo with a friend but it's been cancelled late, so I am off to go out for a bit before the storms hit. Looks like the weekend is going to be very, very wet!

I hope Stormy is doing OK, and that you are too. Hugs.

[ecomama]

Dear Katy

Are you feeling any better today?
Awww yuck feeling that is.

The sweet potato noodles are DRIED. Mine are in a BLUE packet in the dried pasta area.
omg they're so yum, you won't believe it. One pack lasts about 4 meals for 1 in a soup or stir fry.
Just soak them in hot water before adding to a stir fry.
I'll see if I can find them on the weekend. Last time they were 50c a pack and I bought 4 packs lol.

My poodle LOVES them in left over stir fry or anything really.
Good for his gut and "weight management" ugh.

Hey Katy... one of those fiddle toys to zoom with is a great idea from Paws!

My "go to" to getting thru things that stressed me out in the past (I'm good now) was to...
PLAN something REALLY nice for straight afterwards.
You may even need to pan 5 things...I know it seems like overdoing it but whatever works is my mantra.
Sparkling all your senses worked best for me...stuff like:
~ having Chai soaking in the kitchen so you can smell it and know you're going to have lots of cups to drink in a minute..
~ having a specific "scent" like lavender oil on your temples as prep for the zoom..(I used a Weleda hand cream call skin food - just makes me sparkle)
~ getting the leash ready for a walk...
~ KNOWING what you're going to eat for your next meal and having it there ready...
~ the phone a friend or popping on to the forums to yell out "YAY I DID IT!" is particularly awesome...

So as you're preparing for the zoom, you can be prepping these nice things for yourself.

Focussing on the "AFTER" feelings and events can really take the emphasis away from "tha zoom" if you know what I mean?

It's just "one thing" you're doing today.
NOT the entire focus of your day.

It's like building sand castles in the sand as opposed to digging a hole in the sand on a beach.
You're BUILDING something by having all those other things going on as opposed to everything around the zoom crumbling in on it aka "the hole".

Not sure if you draw or sketch?
I find pictorial representations help alot.

Drawing a sand castle, because you're BUILDING something really cool by doing the zooms... having it nearby to remind you.

I'll try to find those noodles!

Love EM

[ecomama]

Hey Katy

Well the sweet potato noodles are in the dried noodle section (in the pasta isle) at Coles here.
Omg they've gone up to $2.
Not happy but I bought 2 more packets anyway.

They were on the bottom shelf, not so popular, a hidden gem for sure.

Hope your health is improving.
Hugs.

Love EM

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Gosh, this virus got me good. I spent the last two days in bed watching netflix. I did my zoom on Friday but I stayed in bed and turned the camera and mike off. I feel a bit better today, so far. I've taken Stormy for a walk around town and grabbed a takeaway coffee. Poor Stormy was practically dragging me in her excitement to finally be out and about. It's the most gorgeous morning. It's supposed to be around 30 degrees today. The last of the yummy weather. I'd love to be out on the water for it, but oh well.

I'll have to have another look for the noodles EM. I wasn't expecting them to be dried. With cooler weather expected for next week, a big pot of soup will be nice. There's kale and spring onions in the garden at prac too, so they will be good for soup. Thanks for the tip x

Just a quick check in. Take care. Katy

[ecomama]

Hey Katy

Congratulations on getting through the zoom meeting. Well done!

I'm glad you're feeling well enough to take Stormy for a walk today.
Happy for Stormy too lol.

Happy you're having great weather there, awesome.

I woke up to a flooded kitchen lol so much rain... everything's turned to mud!

I'm loving the podcast with Dr Edith Eger (A Holocaust survivor and amazing psychologist) on Brene Brown's "Unlocking Us".
I could eat every word up.
It's beautiful.

Yep they're dried sweet potato noodles, you won't need many in a single serve, they swell up SO BIG!

Hope you have a great week,
Love EM