Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I am with your friend - hot weather is no friend of mine or Sam's!!! Your climate sounds perfect for us!

I've been visiting a friend here she put on cake and coffee for my birthday this Sunday as she'll be away then, it was nice to sit on her shady verandah and have a chat.

Tim Winton when he was growing up lived in whaling town starting with A south of the big city, I think you're in that kind of area? It sounds lovely (not the whaling, the area!)

I am off to the library later today, hunkering down for a while now as it's getting hot again.

I'm sorry to hear the Spanish horses has closed down, it was lovely I do remember that...

What do I like at Christmas hmmm - pavlova with strawberries and passionfruit would be lovely!!!! I think little Sam would like chicken flavoured Schmakos!

hugs

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hanna

How lovely of your friend, it sounds like a gorgeous morning. Are you still intent on moving? It seems like things are looking a bit nicer there, where you are.

I'm not in A, but my grandparents lived there when I was young, so I've been there but not for many years. The beaches there have that beautiful fine grain white sand, so it looks like snow. Have you read Shallows by Winton? That was set in A, around the whaling industry. The weather there is more extreme than here too. Where I am is really moderate - you would love it.

Got my free Ruth Bader Ginsberg book in the mail yesterday - it's enormous! I don't think it will be at the top of my to read list lol.

Katy 🙂

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I enjoyed remembering about going to WA. That was when I'd just finished high school and before I went nursing. We went across the Nullarbor on the train - it was amazing. The city was pretty, I remember visiting the big park there - forget it's name at the moment!!!

I had a friend, a nursing sister, she worked at the hospital at Cook in the Nullarbor for a while, there were only two nurses, and one of their jobs was to entertain the flying doctor when he came and they had to cook him a baked dinner. Imagine that these days! I remember the Indian Pacific stopping at Cook, in the middle of absolutely nowhere!

I read Shallows, can't remember it much, I know Winton went surfing in those areas... then he read in the afternoons when the wind got up.

I enjoyed remembering about that trip we did - I haven't thought about it in ages. I enjoy seeing my friend but most of the week she works in the ACT or the big city in this state, so she's not here much. She teaches music and knows my music teacher.

RBG is interesting, I read a book of conversations with her, I wish I grew up with as much self confidence as she had!!! Happy reading oxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy, Hanna, Sleepy, wave to all

When I went to WA it was on the Indian Pacific as well. I think it is a great way to appreciate just how big our country is. We drove out to the mining area around K then down to the coast through the whaling town & then went to see the "Tall Trees" which I absolutely loved. I think I must be one of the few tourists to go to the island & not see a single Quokka. On the way over the side of my face swelled out like a balloon, I can confirm however the nurses station there was very good. We were only in WA for two weeks & I always intended to go back. It is still on the list should one day I get better & win tatts.

It sounds like Storm is a very wise pooch when it comes to temperatures... I have to concur anything over 20 is way too hot to be outdoors in.

I was watching Gardening Australia yesterday (it's old repeats as it's the summer break) & they they had a chap who inherited a pot plant from an elderly relative, which was his intro to gardening. Because he was in a rental almost all his plants were in pots & he had soooo many of them it reminded me instantly of your collection. I was so jealous of how healthy all his plants looked & impressed with how he had them grouped so they looked like flower beds.

Paws

[Guest_1643]

Hi Katy -

the hope box is a fun activity - hope in general is an interesting concept in recovery. I see it like a flickering flame that we have somewhere which we need to stoke.
I'll try and write a bit about it later!! I'm also getting a little interested in this 12-step idea of a God box. You put your worries in there for G-d to treat...
Can totally relate to ur psychs comments about not judging what people say about us - and just adding it to the platform. It is nice to see the compliments objectively and give them a place to "just be"

I had a call to centrelink today as I'm changing payments and it was a little bit horrible - Having to explain that I haven't worked in a year and the guy had zero personality, empathy, or warmth and was quite unfriendly. I'm starting work after a year break. I was a student in 2019 so I guess that would mean I was technically meant to be working straight away in 2020 and not have this long break - (although, there has been a global pandemic?! so not working is quite common over the last 9 months). I feel a bit horrible leading up to starting work and am scared about my MH. Trying my best though. Transitions are sure difficult. No worries to ask 🙂

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna, Paws, Sleepy, everyone 🙂

I've had a lazy day in bed with a book! Cool and windy here - not my cup of tea, but I suppose Storm will be thinking "come on, mum!". I'm happy in my winter clothes, under the doona!

How wonderful to take the train across the country! My son's Dad and I drove from Perth to Cairns, where we lived for six months, before my son was born. It was a great adventure, and I enjoyed crossing the Nullarbor a lot. Likewise, Paws, if I got better I'd love to do it again - the train this time. Funny you never saw a quokka on the island, although I've never been there, it seems quokka selfies are a big thing. Another thing on the to do if I get better list.

Hanna it's Kings Park and one of my favourite places in the city. I'm not much of a city person, so stands to reason I suppose. Love to grab a coffee and wander the gardens when I'm visiting my son - he loves it there too.

Paws, I'd like to say my plants are brimming with health, but I'd be lying. I mostly collect succulents, which I was told are easy to care for. I haven't found this at all true. I spent half a day recently unpotting them and scrubbing them gently with a toothbrush to remove a bug infestation - including the roots, and I don't find that easy care at all lol. I've started filling up indoors now with non-succulents - let's hope that works out better 🙂

Sleepy, I'm sorry you had that experience at C/link. It's hard enough when we're feeling a bit vulnerable without being treated with a lack of respect. It will be a big change going back to work after a break, I hope you're able to be gentle with yourself - absolutely we can only do our best 🙂

Well I'm going to add - got a great mark on my essay - to my self-esteem platform. Last one for what was a full on year. Happy dance!

Smiley hugs all round xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I thought it was King's Park, I confess I was too lazy to Google it to confirm it, so thank you! Yes I remember how pretty it was..

We have rolling severe thunderstorms here, it was due to hit about 35 but I don't think it will make it.. I went to treat myself to coffee and cake at a cafe but with the weather and Xmas shopping all the tables were taken so I didn't bother. I was going to treat myself to Asian take away for dinner, but they were closed too, nobody knew why! I guess it's One Of Those Days. Might stay home with little Sam and watch a DVD...

What are you up to today? I hope something nice.

Sending hello waves your way xoxo

[Guest_1643]

hi Katy succulents are very pretty and i've been considering one... will rethink

glad your other non-succulents seem happier, i guess you learn through trial and error with plants

I notice a lot of succulents growing in my street -like on the public lawn - i'm not sure if i'm allowed to chop one off lol... but i would like to pop one in a clear jar on the bathroom counter. I fail constantly with plants so I don't know where my ideas will end up. I like that they give you joy 🙂

good on u for a day in bed with a book. really good to get that rest and headspace.

Very moody weather here today in Melbourne. My neighbours wanted to host a block wide bbq but it was cancelled due to weather. I'm super relieved as I find their bbqs a bit cheesy but they are totally obsessed with them.
Hope you are having an awesome day with S

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi all 🙂

Hanna, yes I suppose it's that time of the year isn't it? I hope you find something nice to watch, at least. It can be cosy to just stay in when the weather's like that. It does seem to be really all over the place, your weather! I really do like it here, the more I think about it. Well, in saying that... another cool, cloudy day here, although we're in for average of 30 come mid-week, so maybe I'll finally get a swim in 🙂

My day? I can't seem to get enthused enough to go to yoga anymore. I've skipped it again! So probably reading, and maybe finishing Storm's outfit, which is still waiting for me.

(I've put on pre-Xmas kilos - I'm the heaviest I've ever been! So I do hope the warm weather kicks in to get me out and about swimming, riding my bike, paddling my board... )

Sleepy - succulents are definitely gorgeous! There are so many varieties, it's crazy. And, I imagine it wouldn't be too taxing to look after just one, so don't let me put you off lol. I'm trying to think of my favourite, so I can tell you and you can google it if you want, but I'm not sure.... maybe mexican firecracker, as it's hairy like a tarantula, but there are far prettier ones.

Do you have weekend plans? Perhaps not if the weather is iffy. Do you like reading? I'm half-way through Good Dogs Don't Make it to the South Pole. It's written from the dog's point of view and it's quite fun. (Don't tell Hanna though, I know her opinion on animals writing stories *wink*)

Cool sleepy vibes from me and the furs xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Ha! Did I catch you saying things about me not liking talking animals in books???!!!! Yep! Or talking dead people or talking trees.. don't get me started! Talking dogs slightly more permissible, after all dogs are clever...

A top of 30 wow can we move where you are? The colder climate is definitely for us!!!!

I have given up on the day and read the paper in bed while little Sam had a much needed big sleep after all the hot days... it's misty and rainy here and cold enough I've got a woolen cardigan on - weird weather change but nice!

What's up with getting to yoga? Feeling blah still.. that's no good.

Sleepy - with succulents you can break off just a leaf and plant it and they will usually start from that, I've done that heaps of times - just put the leaf in some potting mix and keep it a bit damp... Have you started work yet? How are you feeling?

hugs to all xoxo