Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Just Sara]

I'm here hun;

You've done really well to call the helplines ok. You're doing whatever you can to survive this horrible time. However, I think it's time to consider hospital my sweet.

You will have an opportunity to rest your poor mind and body in supported care. Whatever state you're in, they'll have a mental health hotline. Please call them and ask them what to do...please. Things can't continue to go as they have; your mind is the most important part of who you are, so please look after it as you would a broken back or heart.

I'm here for you; we all are...Sara xo

[startingnew]

i think so to Sara. im just terrified and tired but i am trying

thank you everyone, for everything, i dont know where id be without you

[startingnew]

im really struggling i rang my suicide prevention clinician and they are going to ring back tomorrow morning to check in aswell. shes given me a few other techniques to work on and try, i can ring ATAPS which is run through the program as much as i like to get through whenever i need it and if things get worse to get the hospital,and not to worry about anyything else jsut get there and get some more emergency help

[james1]

Hey startingnew,

Oh you sound like you're in so much pain 😞

It's good that you were able to call your clinician and i hope that was helpful for you. Are you at home at the moment? Is there anyone around you?

It's important, when you are distressed, to try and find a safe spot to do those techniques your clinician mentioned.

I will be checking on the forums in the next hour before I have to go, so feel free to reply back if you see this.

James

[startingnew]

yeah its really difficult and i dont think im getting a break any time soon. trigger after trigger after trigger

yeah im at home, i have no intensions of going anywhere

[Doolhof]

Maybe it is time you go to the hospital to get some help and much needed rest.

Our minds and bodies can only cope with so much.

I know from experience, it is best to get there before you really go BANG!

[startingnew]

i don think i can...

what about what people are going to think of me and how itll affect my sisters and mum and pop

[Just Sara]

Hi SN; it's great to read you've been contacting professionals to help support you. Well done!

You said; 'What will people think?' Your family, no matter their views, will be affected either way, but more-so by knowing you've kept things from them.

Your MH secrets 'can' be shared with those you love, not just because you need help, but to give them the opportunity/permission to love you back; to hug you and hold your hand.

When I self admitted to hospital recently, 2 sisters came to see me often and mum took the line of; 'let us never speak of this again!' It hurt, but I survived. I now know who I can count on. That's a plus.

I hope you're coping better today. Practice your new strategies, and reward yourself with something beautiful just for you; even if it's a rose from a neighbors front yard! lol (Been there, done that)

In fact, I may just do it again for myself today! Ha! I know just the one...a large blood red rose down the street.

Thinking of you...

Sara x

[startingnew]

ok so abit of undate ... sorry i havent been around much..... i went to the gp today.

i told her about my suicidal thoughts and self harming and she reminded me to call up and ask to speak to her if i need to or ring my counsellor or one of the helplines.

keep at the garden drawing idea she thought that was a great idea to work towards and keep up the study work and if i need to she will give me a medical certificate for extensions if i need to.

she has increased my medications .

she said make sure im doing self care activities even just half an hour per dayim only scraping the tip of the iceberg for the moment so this is the 'easy' part for the moment

i want to thank you all for being here for me and with me, holding my hand and giving me advice, i really appreciate it and i dont think i would have even made it to the 'easy' part if your werent here giving me abit of support. you guys are like family depsite only being online though i know there are real people behind those screens who have had these experiences and im glad your sharing your knowledge with me.

[Starwolf]

Well done for talking openly with your GP. She has given you excellent advice. The fact that she is making herself available outside regular appointments shows she cares. Knowing you are in good hands feels good.

Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. It is good to know we are helping you help yourself. It is what we come here for.

You are right, we are very real people behind those anonymous posts. Our stories are real, so are our feelings, emotions, struggles and concerns. Recovery is a long, difficult journey. Good company is one of the blessings along the way.

So thank you for joining us.