Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Just Sara]

Hi SN; (Big shout out to Star for your great butterfly analogy too!)

I'm not the only one who's staying with you hun; Star and Mrs D are here too.

You mentioned in your last post about goals. What a great idea! And; it came from you, not others. Bloody well done! One step...

At one stage in my recovery, I used to forget to eat; it upset me terribly. That goal was really hard to achieve as my appetite was none existent. (At times, I still do forget to eat prior to 4 or 5 pm. It's a work in progress)

One of the best goals I've heard of, is once a day, force yourself to smile at a stranger, then watch their response. It might begin with lips pursed, then progress to showing your teeth; just a thought.

What I'm saying, is that goals can be as big or small as you want. The point is to attempt them everyday; don't criticise yourself if it doesn't happen, and praise yourself when it does. Most of all, push yourself to 'achieve' something that's just for you.

Hopefully as time passes, you'll incorporate more goals, but especially acknowledge what's worked and how proud you are of yourself.

I'd LOVE to know how you go!

Best of luck...

Sara x

[startingnew]

i only picked it as i liked the image but im glad others see it other ways thats how we learn so thank you both for that

Todays goal -26/3- was to get to the cinemas like ive been wanting to do and not duck out like i keep doing even though i book it online of it and guess what i accomlishped that today

tomorows goal- 27/3- go for an hours walk

[startingnew]

im so scared guys

how can i be so scared of emotion (physically and mentally) and thoughts and feelings..?

[Starwolf]

Whatever we do is done for a reason. Sometimes we are aware of this reason, sometimes it is the subconscious part of the mind which compels us to act.

Well done for setting yourself goals and kicking them. You're on the right track.

Emotions and feelings can be scary, I agree. They are powerful and can drag us where we don't care to go. However, with the right guidance, they can be managed. Then we can work with them instead of them working against us.

I hope you enjoy today's walk.

[james1]

Hey startingnew,

I love your goals! It's great that you're setting them and trying to achieve them. I try that too and my psychologist tells me that even when I don't complete them, it's okay because I can just try again tomorrow.

It's definitely scary to experience emotions because, like Starwolf said, they can often drag us places we don't want to go. For me, my mind automatically numbs the feelings because they're too strong. So I often don't feel anything or know how I feel, except by what my body is physically doing. But this is something I can work on with my psychologist, and perhaps that is something you could consider as well. They are trained to help us manage these overwhelming thoughts and feelings, and learn how to cope them...or even lessen their strength.

James

[Just Sara]

Hi SN;

High five and squeals of congrat's from me! You did it! What was the movie? Hope you enjoyed it..

About your low feelings after you returned, and more-so about today's goal; there's something called 'anticipatory' anxiety. This happens when we challenge ourselves to do/say something we're not quite comfortable with, a while before it's time to do/say it.

Going for a walk sounds like it's just like that. Making it for one hr might be a bit of a stretch, so what if you only walked for as long as you're comfortable even if it's 5 min's? That takes a lot of the pressure off.

When we choose goals, they have to be;

1...doable

2...achievable

3...realistic

(4...enjoyable) until you're ready to attempt harder activities.

By sticking to these rules, you control things and don't hijack your efforts by feeling defeated before you begin...sabotaging.

Identify obstacles; walking in built up areas instead of quiet one's, choosing grassy walkways instead of cement paths or a straight line instead of a circle. All these things might be triggering, so by identifying them you can avoid anxiety. (These are only examples; you may find other items that suit you)

Please choose things that are right for 'you', and not what you think other's expect of you...too much pressure to please them.

Also, doing something that enhances your life will be beneficial for the long term.

Good luck and well done!

Part of your cheer squad...Sara x

[Wilma1]

Just a quick visit. Not sure if you're into music but a song I found not long ago speaks volumes in a very simple way. Shaina Noll.....How could anyone ever tell you..... All the best wishes on your journey. You are NOT alone... Wishful

[startingnew]

im not doing so great guys, i didnt do my goal today, ive spoken to three hotlines today becasue i havent been well and have been having very troubling thoughts.

the abuse and the feelings associated with it are really getting at me now that ive disclosed it.

the sensations were describing before Sara asre really getting at me and im having a heap of trouble coping that my mind said no and my body was saying yes. it makes me feel sick and even worse about the situation

i might end up in hospital tonight if i cant get myself to settle down.

i think im in need of my cheer squad!

[startingnew]

i want to give up , but i cant give up right?

[Doolhof]

Hi Startingnew,

Did you manage to make it to the cinema and sit the whole way through the movie? We used to take a friend's two daughter's to see kids movies. One of the girls would sometimes become so afraid I needed to take her out of the cinema. There are so many movies I have not seen the ending of!

There are times where I feel I can't mange to go somewhere or do something I want to do. Later on I sometimes have a sense of regret. The opportunity has gone and I did not make the most of it.

Sometimes it is a sense of release not to do some things. I guess the point is knowing when we need to push ourselves a little further and when it is okay to just accept you can't do that right now and not have regrets. If an event can be rescheduled, that can be beneficial, as you can then try to accomplish what you were not able to do the previous time.

Dools