Introducing mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

(Purring) mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear mmMekitty ( wiht a wave to Grandy and MC )

Oh dear. I'm afraid my attempts at graphics were not as successful as I'd hoped. It IS the penguin singing, not the fish, it's just the penguin's melodic efforts rise up. The fish is indeed for the dinner table and took a lot of searching DB's old posts to find it (Ta DB, now we're even on that penguin)

As for medals, only equal gold is acceptable MC, so you are stuck with it.

On the more serious topic of posting, I guess it does depend on the nature of the matter. As MC has rightly pointed out there are different areas for different things, and browsing a sample of each will let you know how they are used.

It is highly important that you can express matters, so my only other suggestion is that you ease into things gently and see how you go. The worst that will happen is the moderators will withdraw the post and let you know it was too much.

I doubt that will happen though, you have an excellent feel for things and will probably accomplish whatever you want without resorting to language or imagery in the wrong area that would distress others.

Croix

[mmMekitty]

Hi MC & Croix,

I'm not sure how to explain, or if I can explain what happened, why my post was as edited as it was, only so much having been removed, it was very painful. I had feelings I wanted to expressed, negated. I guess I can say this much.
*
Yeah, about the recliner chair idea, I have wanted one, too.

I would replace my two-seater sofa, which I bought, hoping Mekitty would sit with me, or on the wider armrests, perhaps while I was there. She did like it, walking along the back edge, behind my head, & jumping down, using it for a scratching post, & when I draped a rectangular shawl, leaving the open front slightly open for her to peer out of, from underneath, like a tent - she liked that, too.

She never sat any closer than the far end of the other seat, away from where I sat.

I also like it because it is high, & does not sink to the floor when I sit, making me struggle to get up out of it again. The height of the seat with the dense foam cushions comes up to just below the back of my knee. It sinks only a little.

The armrests are too high to make it a comfortable place to nap, the whole thing being too short to stretch out on.

Now, I would like a recliner rocker, then I could lay back & drift off while listening to music or a book without turning it up so I could hear it from the bedroom. I do worry I turn up the volume too loud.

*
Croix, I commend your effort to search for a fish, & what a fine fish you found!🐡A blowfish
🐡or Fugu fish!🐡😺🐡😻🐡😹🐡😻! Fugu Fish! Excellent! They are a fishy bubbles!

*

Spent today at the hospital. I had an appointment, which was cancelled but I was not told. When I explained that there was more fluid building up on the right side of my chest, I was told to go to Emergency & there someone could tend to it.

At Emergency, my helper was told she could not stay with me. I thought she'd go home to wait for a call to return when I was done. So I went in, & was given a RATest, & also they insisted I try to wear a shield because I couldn't wear a mask. 😸 I could, but remember this is in chilly air-conditioning. & then I waited, & waited, & finally someone saw me, & I was sent up to where I had gone to meet the surgeon, to see someone there.

More waiting, & waiting, until I finally saw someone, who did drain off some more fluid from both sides. It wasn't very easy, & I feel a little worse for it right now.

My helper had waited in the large foyer entrance all arvo. I was home at nearly 6pm, exhausted.

mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

Indeed, wearing the shield was okay, but I was feeling anxious, fearing I still might panic. I didn't, though. It is awkward, & slipped some, so I kept having to adjust it, & messing up my hair, too. I keep wondring if it was the cool air that made it okay, to some extent. More importantly was that none of the thing made contact with my face. The the foam stuck along the top of the thin (like thin cardboard) plastic face shield itself, is at least two cms thick, so the shield does not even touch my nose. It curves around the face, almost ear to ear, with a light-weight band of elastic around the back of my head. I suppose it could be tightened if I really thought it necessary, but for now, it feels alright. The man who put it on me had the top resting just above my eyebrows, with my glasses blow.

I don't think it is really adequate protection from becoming infected with COVID-19 or transmitting it into the air if I had it. As I thought, the gap is just too big around the sides & below my chin. I could feel my own breath on my hands when I held them close below.

I suppose it is better than nothing - but not by much, in my unprofessional opinion.

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear mmMekitty~

This is of necessity short.

First I love the picture of the feline face looking out from under the shawl tent.

I hope, as Sir Humphrey would say I hope "in the fullness of time at the appropriate juncture" you do acquire the recliner rocker you would like.

Thank you for you appreciation of my sneaking back and raiding an old post of DB's for the fish (I'm sure it will never be missed:)

Your helper sounds a treasure.

On expressing what you wish, you are feeling you way and I'm sure will get there, do not undersell yourself either with this or anything else.

Croix

[Mum Chris]

Hi mmMekitty

The shield may not stop spreading or getting infected but it reduces the spray of fluids and it also protects your eyes from aerosol suspended germs. They know the best protection is face shield plus n95 mask. You were as protected as a surgical mask as most people don’t wear them properly.

The hospital shuffle is really not good enough. At least that terrible experience is over. You are suffering enough and your helper was probably given no news and told she’ll be out soon. Your experience is often the norm

we bought a nice lounge and bed about 10 years ago and both are now uncomfortable a rocking recliner would be amazing. I wanted a recliner for years but they are so ugly. I’m not quite ready for ugly furniture I like pretty things. I’m also not happy with excessive consumption. I know when to get rid of something when it’s falling apart and unusable. Even then it’s a struggle for me.
Your kitty and my dog would have gotten on, he likes his space. He would never sit on the couch or leans on my lap. He comes close when I’m distressed and will put his face up to me till I calm down and he watches me and follows me but the rest of the time he’s in his own space. When grandkids hug him and try to lay with him he gets very anxious and I have to tell him to stay. He like gentle pats and food. But keep your distance.
Croix thank you I accept the gold. To honour the medal I’m going to attempt going into the yard again. I’m in a holding pattern when I’m home alone. I have the feeling of being held back physically and I just look out the windows. So I will have a coffee on the veranda twice a day instead of behind locked doors.
All the best

MC

[mmMekitty]

Hi, MC & Croix,

My helper wasn't told, as she had expected, when I was ready to leave. Neither of us expected I would go to the other (Surgical Outpatients?) place, where she could have been permitted to be with me again.

*

I like your plan, going out onto the varranda to have your coffee, sounds good to me. If my environment did not have rubbish dropped in it, I might do the same, just to take a break from being inside, feeling that locked-in feeling too, I suppose.

I'm tempted to feed the birds, to bring them to within MY viewing range - which means, a metre or two away, but not in bushes! Out in the open, on the railing at my back door, would be wonderful.

*

My sofa is not falling apart, so I'd send it back to, one of the charities, where I got it from, I hope - but I can't remember which! They could resell it again, & get a little more money for it.

I like pretty too, but not into leather, let alone vinyl. I would therefore, like a properly upholstered recliner-rocker! For someone on a particularly low income, I do have expensive tastes, 😸 uncomfortably like my (ex-)step-mother.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

for both of you

mmMekity

[Croix]

Dear mmMeKitty and CM~

I too like the idea of going out at night and having a cuppa, the big problem is the garden gnats and mosquitoes also feel like having an outdoor drink:( I've tried mosquito coils (the ones you burn) and various aerosols, but they have to be applied so often it is not pleasant -sigh.

With birds we have umpteen, even though we do nothing , they simply like the fact our house is an oasis of trees and shrubs in an area where most think a well-manicured lawn is the bees' knees. Fortunately Sumo is too lazy to do anything and lets them be on the occasions he's allowed out.

With your veranda MK, would it be possible to put up a bird feeder? Even one of those bell shaped solid blocks of seeds on a string?

My chair relines but does not rock. It is the only one I've found that eases my spine when bad and even allows me to sleep. It is very old and has been recovered twice by the local auto-upholsterer. (who is getting pretty practiced at doing it.:)

I too have expensive tastes but Mrs C holds me in check, she says his-and-hers Rolls Royces is a tad showy.

Incidentally MK I rather liked the phrase you wrote elsewhere:

I'm a little concerned that there seems to be a divide growing amongst us, which I don't think is helpful for us to continue.

You are quite right. This place is about gettng on together and supporting each other, even though it is sometimes hard to know where to draw the line with beliefs and experiences.

CM are you still having to go back to the moon boot when you get tired?

Have another fish
🐟

Croix

[Croix]

P.S. MC, forgot to say:-

Your psych was right, that 's exactly where I sit, not thinking about it, just comes natually for the same reason, hyper-vigilance even now, unkempt years after the Force, but it does no harm and makes me feel more at ease

-C

[mmMekitty]

Thanks for the 🐟, so pretty, I hope 🐡&🐟 will be good friends, in the🛁I'll put outside. (in lieu of there not being an emoji for a fish bowl, or fish tank, or pond, or lake, or river...🚿 was the next best option!)

*

Thanks for your comment about my comment...😸When I get a feeling my perspective & approach is not welcome, then I guess it's time to step back.

*

I'll give the idea of a bird feeder some thought. The porch railing is a little above waist height, so I'm not sure about tht... & there is nothing to hang anything from out there - unless the big weed the 'gardeners' have managed not to notice for more than six months, keeps growing, & begins to have thick enough branches to support both feeder & birds, if they don't mind the thorns.

Also, I've heard, it's not a good idea to feed them regularly, because they can become dependant on you for food, & even teach their chicks to come to your place. What happens when you are no there for extended periods, or you are not there at all anymore? Besides, us humans tend to give them the wrong sort of food. So, I think some research is in order anyway.

*

mmMekitty

[Croix]

Dear MK

I was intending the fish fir your tummy 🍴, not as a pet. Oh well.

While you may have a point about wild animals becoming dependent, I think in part it is a question of degree. A tasty tidbit is one thing, a regular total diet is another. It is amazing if you put a treat out regularly for 1/2 hour each day how quickly they will come ot scoff it (or have alternations with others)

I'm glad you feel (or I hope you do) supported by my comment on your comment.

I'm considering using the minuscule authority of a Champion to try to point out that diverse strongly held views can hurt others, even without such intent.

Sometimes one has to lay one's own beliefs to one side (I'm not saying abandon them) in order to see the hurt and distress others with opposing views may be going though. This place is about support, not expounding beliefs where mental health is not the first thing on the agenda.

If I figure out what to say more exactly then I'll post there. Médecins Sans Frontières has the right attitude. Help all, not matter which side.

Bonne nuite

Croix