I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Wednesday]

I think you are being little bit hard on yourself.

Take good care of you.

Hugs. xx

[Music_Freak]

I'm always too hard on myself...yet another personality flaw

Funny..I've never liked my name, but some here have said how nice it is...it's just something else I hate 😞

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

When I first joined I needed to be reassured regularly. There are times when everyone needs reassurance and then one day you will not need it anymore.

Consider what it is you get from hating things like your name. Maybe write it down. Then consider what you would get if you embraced these things that you hate right now. What might it feel like if you embraced and accepted these things. Would it feel easier? Would you have more energy for other things? Just a thought.

I used to dislike my name too. My Mum was older and it's an older name....no one my age has my name. However she gave it to me named after her grandmother whom she loved dearly. I have learnt to embrace that she had and how beautiful it is that she gave that love to me in my name.

I hope you are ok tonight lovely.

Kindest thoughts,

Carol

[blondguy]

Hey Narelle

Carol said:"There are times when everyone needs reassurance and then one day you will not need it anymore"

When I joined in January I needed reassurance as I was upset and in a bad place..Carol has helped me and many others through some tough times...

Please be 'gentle' to yourself Narelle. ((Hug)) Paulx

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Reassurance, acceptance and being listened to, all of that is what makes this forum so amazing!

Narelle, you mentioned how you have never liked your name, I too think it is a beautiful name, it sounds exotic to me, something very special. I don't use my name as I have never liked it either. There were two older ladies in my town with the same name.

My name isn't as bad as Gertrude or Olive (Sorry if anyone has these names). Like others have mentioned, a name is a name that someone has given us for one reason or another. I accept mine as it is. My parents would be very offended if I changed it.

I do like the way my name sounds when my dear nieces put Aunty in front of it. That really makes my day!

So let us all embrace our names, embrace who we are, and conquer the world!

[Music_Freak]

Thank you for the comments, i really need to hear them all lately...and probably always, but we will see about that.

I was Auntie Dawelle to my niece when she was young and Auntie Afelle to my nephew a few years later. It's a shame circumstances and my feelings have tainted my relationship with my family, but I'll always remember their cuteness...

I've not had the best day today, but have kept myself busy with housework...now that I'm finished the voices might surface

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

I find the best way to avoid negative thoughts is to keep busy. Perhaps you can look up some cooking tutorials on youtube. You mentioned before about that being a possible hobby.

It's great you were motivated to do housework. Great job.

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Carol 🙂

I woke up with a sore throat at 7am (courtesy of Buddy), so I did have to push myself, but now I'm back in bed with clean sheets, so I guess that's worth it

[Lost_Girl]

Hope your throat feels better soon. Clean sheets are the best.

[Music_Freak]

Thanks (again) for replying Carol. I'm going to start gargling salt water, hopefully that will help.

I'm having a really bad night tonight, lots of tears and feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin...majorly horrible...

I'm trying to keep my mind occupied by playing games on my phone, but I feel like it's not working - I'm going to see if a hot shower helps...I hope it does