how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Matchy69]

Hi sarah that story reminds of years ago when i had a dog and had just planted some seeds and seedlings in the vegie garden.My dog who i just gave a bone to decided she would bury it guess where so i had to restart that vegie garden again.

Thats a good idea to plant the crops at intervals and keeps your season longer.I remember growing snow peas in a box and put the box next to the fence and they grew up the fence.

This weekend i will do some gardening in the vegie garden and sunday i will take my daughter for a driving lesson.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Hope the driving lessons are going well. This will not be too far away for me as my son turns 16 in June.

I have spent pretty much my time outside with the cats when they Are out to protect my crops.. lol. I had a friend drop in yesterday so didn’t plant more but maybe I will this week with my daughter. I just hope they survive the shock of being hurled out of the pots a few times ...grrrr

I have some lamb in the slow cooker today to make wraps with tzaziki and tomatoes and avocado for dinner. I am looking forward to that.. clearly the vegan option is on hold for awhile... I am proud that I lasted 5 months when I only intended to do it for 1 month.

The sun is out here today so think I might take a coffee outside and soak some up.

Chat soon my friend

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah the driving lessons went ok.Its a bit stressful teaching her.Something for you to look forward to.

I didnt do much else this weekend.Spent most of the time watching abc kids with y son.I will try and do some gardening tomorrow.We had a bit of rain here this afternoon.

Yes you need to guard those vegies from your cat.Animals can makea mess of your plants.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

I have been waking up so early these days 2am or 3am and not being able to get back to sleep and just laying in bed pondering over everything thst has happened to me and all the mistakes i have made.How i miss that one person to talk to,to be able to feel good about my self again knowing this is as good as i will be.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Matchy69,

It sounds like it's been a really tough time for you recently. Thank you for sharing your journey with us here on the forums. We think it is very brave of you. 
We want you to know help is always available to you and things can get better.

If you would like to talk further about how you are feeling with one of our friendly counsellors please get in touch on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST.

In addition to this, there are always counsellors available to you via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

You are so very right, those cats are doing my head in with this new garden situation, and even though the plants are in pots I have had to move them to against the fence so if I miss seeing them jump up at least they wont fall on the ground all upended.

It really does sound like you are going through this horrible cycle of pain in not being able to heal from the loss of the friendship, it does hurt and it is like grieving the loss of someone who has not actually passed, that you should be able to get answers and have closure but you cannot, so very painful Mark and it is so upsetting that you are not able to get some answers for this. I wish I could be of help but I feel like I don't really have the words to make it manageable for you.

I don't think this will be as good as you will be, there are brighter days ahead. There are better days ahead and it might just take a bit of work to get there, but you are doing that Mark and it is so great to see.

Chat some more my friend, I have to go supervise the dinner that is being cooked by mu daughter....yes well I am proud she is trying.

Hugs to you my friend

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah those cats can be naughty.My cat i think has knocked a couple of eggs out of a nest in a tree.Its one of the trees she is allways climbing to get on my water tanks and onto my roof.

Thats great your daughter is making dinner.The only time my daughter made dinner was when she did cooking at school and bought it home.She dosnt do cooking anymore and does horse care and tractor driving instead.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

Yes I am at my witts end with these cats, they are so needy now that we are home all the time and they just demand attention, and when they are outside they are either knocking my veggies over or sneaking around trying to knock food off from the neighbours.....hmmmm

That is kind of sad about the eggs being knocked out of the tree, however it is all nature and what happens unfortunately, sad as it is.

I am not getting too excited about the frequency of the dinners being cooked, she did an awesome job last night and made mexican enchiladas, however has just informed me she will not be cooking tonight, after saying last night she would...that is great that you daughter helps in other ways, I am not fussy what they do, as long as they are doing something to contribute.

I have been into work twice today with different issues so I am kind of exhausted today with all the running around, might even have a bath tonight with a glass of wine....it is sooo cold here in Melbourne!

Chat soon my friend.

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah my cat is laying in front of the fire with me.I had to light the fire today as it only reached 13 degrees and was absolutely freezing outside in the wind.I did some work outside.I managed to finished the wall today after a trip to bunnings this morning.

I going to make lemon butter tomorrow.One of my favourites.A little bit of work to make but worth it.

Thank you for being my friend and talking to me on here much apreciate it.Loneliness is the worst thing.

Take care,

Your friend,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

You don't have to thank me for being here talking to you, as you know this site is full of people who want to be here, who want to reach out and to share and to support each other, you do this too. So I am not forced to be here and I am not forced to talk to you, I do it as I do care and I need help with the veggies...lol

Lemon butter is awesome and a good lemon curd is next level. You are so clever and between your cooking and your garden you certainly have many skills. I would love to know how you did your grapes that we talked about the other week, I would really like to try that and see how it goes, and have some with some good cheese and a wine.

Update for tonight is that I cooked, yes I thought that her desire to cook every night would be short lived..lol...we will see how she goes tomorrow night.

It really has gotten so very cold so quickly and I would love a fire, I have central heating but there is so much theater with a fire, it really not only warms your body but your soul too.

Enjoy and chat tomorrow, I am off to play boggle..sigh...

Hugs

Sarah