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[Fiasco]

I think I'm going crazy. Can someone please help me?

[Fiasco]

Well we're here at the hotel! Lovely, right on the beach. Kids and hubby have gone to get some supplies.

ive unpacked.

well stressless, we do all different types so a bit of everything - aethestic (very graceful and flowing to 'all of me' by evanescence), rods (like a baton kind of, to uptown funk you up), clubs (Hate! Lol. Swinging clubs around is not my strength), revue (we're acting out a summary of guardians of the galaxy), march (the ants go marching bahahaha), free arm (we're dancing with tambourines and on chairs kind of like burlesque lol to a song by fergie I think called 'be italian', can't remember...

I'm the littlest so most of the 'tricks' involve me being lifted around and high into the air. Hoping I'll be able to do the splits when called for- so close now!

[Guest_3712]

Hi again Fi

Now I'm seriously jealous- all that talent and you're tiny too - enough to get thrown around??

Seriously if anyone tried to lift me they would do their back for sure and watch out if they didn't catch me I'd crush everyone in my path😱

The splits ! Last time I had my legs that wide apart was giving birth !!

Sorry for the visual.

Anyway if u are reading after show I hope it all went well and if you're reading before show-

What are doing girl?

Go stretch or something so you don't hurt anything

Cheers have a great time

Stressless

[White_Rose]

Hello Fi

Well done on all that hard work. Do you dance the can-can? My daughter and her French class gave a display when they were in years 10 or 12, can't remember. What a loving mother. But I did get to see the performance. The headmistress said they had to wear all their underwear and not dance in the traditional clothing. Where was her sense of humour?

Have a great time and come home with all the prizes. I am with Stressless, not fair you are small enough to be thrown around. I will talk later. I have my own performance tomorrow to get ready for. Nothing as exciting as yours.

Mary

[Fiasco]

Will reply better later I promise.

currently lying on a hotel room lounge crying. Cliched. Ah well.

home tomorrow.

miss c did so well and loved it yesterday. Her Tinies Team didn't place overall but got 2nd in free arm and 3rd in aesthetics.

my masters team came 3rd for clubs and aesthetics, 2nd for march, rods and free arm and 1st for revue. 2nd overall. My first medal ever for anything. Very exciting.

huge weekend. All day yesterday and all day today. Beyond exhausted. Kids keep waking at night of course. I went to bed 7.30pm last couple of nights but up now.

issues with husband treating the girls drastically differently and refusing to admit it. I'm so angry and sick of it. He just belted 4year old for crying whereas 6 year old woke 2 nights previously and was crazy lol and he had all the patience in the world. I'm so over it. Always the same. Always. And I ALWAYS call him on it and we argue in front of the kids and it's the same old crap. He gets mad at me for not being on his team and questioning his authority in font of them, I say stop playing favourites, and I refuse to let this happen and refuse to wait to talk about it when kids aren't there (never lol), kids get upset, blah blah blah.

-sigh-

tomorrow is a new day. I'll try and figure stuff out later. No Point when angry and tired and overwrought.

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

Congratulations on your medal and the results for your team. Good on you!

As to hubby... Maybe he needs to spend more 1 on 1 time to bond with your little one? I was just having the same discussion yesterday with my friend (hubby doesn't seem to want much to do with their 2nd daughter). The advice I kept hearing was get him more involved in her day to day care. Is that an option?

For now though just rest and take care of yourself. When you're feeling better then you can sit down and have it out with hubby when the kids are asleep.

I hope you manage to get some sleep and things look a bit brighter in the morning.

[Fiasco]

Quercus you're up late! Midnight now.

so after all that miss 6 started crying and was really upset so he smacked her too - I went in and smacked him! I said, I meant for you to be nicer to miss 4, not meaner to miss 6! How do you like it? Stop hitting people!!!! Now he's on the couch, I'm in bed trying to keep warm and miss 6 is still having anxieties. Miss 4 was almost asleep but of course up again because they're sharing a room here in hotel.

ive written him a note on my phone about how I feel (which over the last how ever many years I've just repeated as nauseum), and how no amount of gold jewellery makes up for it. But not going to send. Mainly to make me feel better.

no point adding fuel to the fight at this point.

Thanks for replying Quercus. Means a lot. Your advice will stay in my mind til I can think more clearly and process.

no doubt it'll all seem fine in the morning.

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

Did you consider actually giving him the letter? I did that once when I was fuming and somehow he took it more seriously because I was angry enough to organise my thoughts and put them in writing.

It's not unreasonable to feel uncomfortable about him smacking the kids. There is a fine line between controlled discipline and lashing out. I find when hubby is tired and frustrated he isn't able to show any patience to our kids either. He knows now that if he can't control his anger he needs to walk away and get me. Same goes for me. We made an agreement to use the same technique (time out) and be consistent and keep smacks for dangerous actions (like running off in a carpark).

I hope you got some sleep and are feeling a bit better this morning.

[Guest_3712]

Hey Fi,

Sometimes enough is enough!

I know what u mean by not adding fuel to the fire and most times I do anything to avoid a confrontation.

Last week I was suffering with this awful flu. So sick couldn't get out of bed- bad for me. Hubby couldn't comprehend this for some reason and made the most awful noise and carry on.

When I asked him to stop he said something like there's things to do and maybe if u got out of bed ....blah blah

Well I lost it ! I called him selfish uncaring and several unprintable words. Told him to leave me alone and if he couldn't say anything nice don't speak.

He was away last week now he's back and I reminded him of this convo- wait before u speak and if it's negative or nasty walk away. So far so good. Will see how long it lasts.

You are not comfortable with his behaviour and need to let him know if u can - maybe later st home when u are both calmer- not in an attacking way just let him know this makes you upset and anxious.

Emotional / verbal abuse is just as bad as other kinds - words cut deep as you know. Good luck and thinking of you

Stressless

[Fiasco]

Crying again. This time locked in the bathroom.

We finally got home from the coast and we're unpacking the car.
I said to hubby Just leave the rubbish, I'll put it in the bin after I drive the car into the garage (because I'd already been standing there waiting while he got out all his cds and stuff).
He says No I'll do it now cos it won't get done.
Implying I'm a lazy liar. Implying I'm incapable and he has to do everything. Implying I'm a uslesss waste of space.
When I ask him to apologise and tell him how that comes across as how little he thinks of me and how insulting it is, he says he's used to me going off the rails over minor things.
I proceed to tell him how he doesn't know how to listen, doesn't care about anything anyone else is going through and nothing is important to him unless he's going through it. I tell him to stop being so arrogant and to get off his high horse. I tell him he has no idea how lucky he has it and that he doesn't appreciate what he has. That I do everything around the house and with the kids and he doesn't have a clue because he takes it all for granted. He continues to look down at me as if I'm a silly little girl not worth even bothering with.
I feel like leaving him, but obviously that would just prove him right, and I know it's my anger and hurt and reactiveness at work rather than my logical mind. I am so hurt by him all the time and he thinks that the words he says and what he thinks doesn't matter because I've got it so good with him working and getting the big bucks and that he buys me expensive jewellery that I don't want so what am I complaining about and why aren't I grateful?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fiasco]

My god I'm so unbearably sad.