Help

[Fiasco]

I think I'm going crazy. Can someone please help me?

[Quercus]

Hi Fiasco,

Are you safe?

I'm worried about you. Please take care of yourself and ask for help.

Thinking of you today.

[Fiasco]

These feelings will pass. Don't get stuck in the moment. How would you talk to someone else feeling like this? Don't beat yourself up. It will be ok. You are ok. Every moment is a fresh opportunity to start over. You can try harder. You can help yourself. Eat. You have to eat. Please just eat. Foster healthy thinking. Sleep. Don't give in.
You can be a great parent. You have. You can again. Learn from mistakes. You don't have to be guilty forever. It doesn't help. Move on.
What's the worst that can happen this weekend? Kids don't sleep. You don't sleep. Kids get sick. Everyone screams and fights. It'll end. It has to end. The competition will be a memory before you know it.
You feel like you hate your kids. And parenting. And feel like a bad person. It's a phase. It's not forever. They're challenging because of whatever reason. Sick. Tired. Whatever. Age. Just accept you lost your patience and try again every day. JUST KEEP TRYING.


Find other ways to work through your intense emotions. How would you want the kids to deal with them? I'd be sick if they hurt themselves. How would I help them? Can I do that for myself?


Ideas: writing. Journaling. Figuring out why I'm feeling how I'm feeling and what I can do about it. What's triggering me? What am I trying to ignore that's causing me to implode?
Boredom. Feeling useless and pointless and a waste of space. What can I do about it? Hobbies etc don't fill the void for me right now. Feeling alone. So alone. Being a parent full time ditto. Need to be around people. Need to feel intelligent and worthwhile and necessary. Need to be inspired and busy. I want to go back to work, but I dislike the place and my role. What can I do? Apply for other places. Then what if I'm not good enough??? What if I just don't care???? What if the novelty wears off. What if I don't want to? Nothing seems important.


I am not a label. I will not use a mental health condition as a limit. I will not be held back by fear. I need to just try. It just seems so pointless.

Don't give up. It will be ok. Don't take the easy way out. Fight. Be smart. Come on!!!!!

[White_Rose]

Hello Fi

Thanks for getting back to us. I am still worried about you and wish I could help more.

Don't give up. It will be OK. Don't take the easy way out. Fight. Be smart. Come on!!!!!

Believe me it's not the easy way to get well by taking medication and seeing a psychiatrist. You think your thoughts are hard to handle now. Adjusting to medication and talking about your life is not an easy path at all. Ask anyone here who has travelled that road. The only thing going for it is the understanding you gain of your life and that is a treasure.

Knowing what presses your buttons and stop it happening, learning to manage your mood swings, knowing and forgiving yourself, that's what it's all about. I hear the anguish in your words and I want to sooth that pain but I cannot do this. And with all respect I believe you cannot do this on your own. You need someone who can give you objective feedback, who can take you safely back to times of hurt and bring you back again. Learning there is more than one way of managing your life. And most important of all, giving you back your life to live as you want instead being at the mercy of every wind and mood that passes by.

No you are not a label and will not be held back by fear, you will be liberated, able to face your fears and overcome them. There is a limit to the amount of trying you can do before your body collapses.

Fi you are a great parent and a great person. There is no badness in you.

You ask why you are feeling as you do and what can you do about it. What's triggering you, what's causing you to implode. You know all these answers. Why not let someone walk with you on this road, help you over the rocks you cannot climb alone. You need to feel intelligent and worthwhile and necessary. You are already all these things but you cannot see yourself. You have lost touch with who you are inside.

Please ask for help and accept that help.

Mary

[Fiasco]

Ah no I know medication is not th easy way - I meant by me giving up and being self destructive rather than

trying to get help

[White_Rose]

Oops!

None the less I do feel your anguish and wish I could remove it for you. Sadly there is only one person who can do this.

Mary

[Fiasco]

Thank you Mary, stressless and Quercus. I'm so sorry for letting that all out onto you all and for making you concerned. It will all be ok.

it's not right of me to do that and I'm really sorry.

i know you're all having your own problems. Stressless I'm thinking f you and your mum, Quercus I relate to so much f what you say, and Mary I hope you are resting and recovering.

Thank you ladies for your support. Don't worry about me. It'll all work out. I shouldn't vent like that.

hope your all doing ok.

[White_Rose]

Dear Fi

This is exactly where you should vent. Our concerns were not to make you feel uncomfortable but to let you know how much everyone cares for everyone here. I can understand if you felt a bit overwhelmed by our posts but feeling guilty is not the intended outcome. We will all step back a bit and give you room to breathe but I really hope you continue to keep in touch.

You are right about us having our troubles. Sometimes it helps to talk to another about how they are going. It reminds us we are a family, the circle and SFC as well as the broader BB community. This is the reason for this forum, to help each other over the hard bits and let them know they are not alone. I suspect our concern has caused you more anxiety and for that I am sorry.

Please continue to post here and we will pull our heads in. 😊

Mary

[Fiasco]

❤️

[Fiasco]

Sorry I haven't been answering questions properly. Stressless (I think it was you that asked), no my fight with hubby was about self harm. No one else except you guys even knows about it. Being winter, it's easy to hide. But it'll be obvious when I put on my dance costumes at the comp this weekend. Oh well. If anyone asks I'll say I hurt myself by mistake on the chicken wire when fixing the chicken fence or something or on the rose plants when gardening. Not the time or place to confide in anyone about this stuff. Everyone needs to focus on their own routines etc. most of my masters team are older than me and have all been suffering with illness and injuries recently. They don't need my burdens. I prefer to distract myself by supporting them. Puts stuff in perspective.

Quercus, I'm pushing on with it all. I can't let my team down - if I pull out of our 7 routines they'd basically be stuffed. Probably disqualified and all that hard work would be wasted. I can't do that to them. This is something I need to do. Once it's over I think it'll be a good thing. I would feel like I accomplished something rather than quitting when the going got tough. Some of my teammates have overcome such huge hurdles. So they inspire me to keep on trying. When I'm on stage I'm completely in the moment and forget about everything else. I feel confident and competent. (Expect for clubs lol, but can't be good at everything 😂😂😂).

im trying to learn to keep going. A bad day doesn't need to mean the end of everything. I've got to keep going. I want to try and learn from my mistakes and figure out how not to repeat them.

My psychologist is an invaluable help to me on this journey. But in te end, this is something that is my responsibility. I can absolutely take advantage of help and support, but I can't be dependent on anyone except myself. When things get bad, I'm not comfortable running to others to get help. They can't help me. And my moods change so quickly. So although I may be self harming one day the next I'm perfectly fine and functional. I'm working on it. No one is accountable for my actions except me. I'm not going to hide behind a condition and say I can't help it. I make my choices and I have to own the consequences.

I hope that hasn't come across like I'm judging anyone - this is all about me. I'm much more sympathetic to others, but in terms of myself, I'm a bit mean! 😂

[Guest_3712]

Hey Fi

Dont think you ever have to explain or apologise to us here for anything.

You tell only as much as you're comfortable with. So long as we know you are ok.

I think I've told u before how much I admire your talent. Wow 7 routines. You must be sooooo good. What a shame we can't see you in person.😢

I will have to imagine you floating or is it more modern energetic dance 💃🏿

just imagine all your BB friends in the front row cheering you on 👏👏

Be extra kind to yourself

Stressless