Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

When I had my last cold I wore a face mask when with other people so I didn't share it around. I also used a lot of hand disinfectant and hand washing activity. I can understand your concern about your husband's health!

Regarding feeling like you have so much to do, could you make a list and tackle whet you think is most required and congratulate yourself for the things you have achieved.

I made a list this morning, my study has taken up more time than I expected, but at least what I have achieved today I do not have to do tomorrow!

Sorry to read your back is sore. I certainly understand that kind of pain. Do you have anything that helps with the pain? I have a wheat bag wrapped around my neck at present to help with neck and shoulder pain.

Yes, I am going to recall the happier moments of Mum and Dad's visit and have a laugh over the bits that did not go so well at the time. In the scheme of things, no disasters happened so I have that to be thankful for.

Wishing you well with your health, hoping the back pain disperses, the cold disappears and you find ways to deal with all the things you are needing to do.

Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Maybe I should get a face mask & use more hand sanitiser at home. I normally have a list of jobs to do but at the moment I'm just doing the essential things so the list is not moving. I can't afford to let this cold linger any longer. My sister arrives tomorrow & there are so many family activities I need to attend. Plus my daughter is expecting a baby in 10 days time. My back seems a bit better. Once the cold clears I need to get back to exercising to strengthen my back so I don't injure it further. I'm trying to drink more to flush the virus out & taking extra vitamins.

I hope your study goes OK. Are you finding it interesting or just a chore.I need to go to bed except I find lying down hard as my nose blocks up!!!.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Have you tried honey and lemon drinks? I found that helped my cold. Yes it is a bother when you try to lay down and your nose just blocks up! My colds often go to my chest. Hopefully your cold will rack off soon!

All the best with having your sister there. I have realised that even though I found having my parents here a little stressful, the changes in my usual day and the routines they have, actually helped me out of my horrid depressive period I was in.

I had to focus on them and their needs, especially so when Dad needed me to take him to the hospital and they needed feeding and entertaining.

Hopefully you will not feel too overwhelmed, but in a way will feel energised as I have found myself to be since their departure!

My study is titled "Aged Care" but so far 90 percent of it has dealt with health care services for children and youth! Some of it I am enjoying, the legalistic side with all the legislation, political correctness, ethics and self determinations have done my head in a little. Ha. Ha.

I don't usually ask questions and go into issues in depth, I just accept what I see at face value, so this is testing me to look deeper.

Hope you have an okay kind of day Elizabeth and don't feel like you are chasing your tail all of the time!

Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools for your reply. I'm feeling too exhausted to post properly but wanted you to know I appreciated it. I will reply when I can think straight enough to write

[Doolhof]

Dear Elizabeth,

You just take as much time as you need! Sending you all the best wishes you can handle right now and hoping you soon feel a little better.

My husband joined me in a walk today in a National Park. We saw lots of lovely parrots ( at least I think they were parrots) about 20 kangaroos and an echidna. The sun was shining and the breeze was only slight. It was cool in the shadows as it was only about 12 degrees.

When I arrived at Church this morning it was only 2 degrees. I had forgotten my jacket and froze in Church as we only have 4 wall mounted bar heaters you have to sit directly under to get any heat from them.

Most people in the Church wear layers of clothes, over coats, scarves, gloves and some of the ladies wear hats! There are some knee rugs as well, but they ran out this morning. I was so cold my teeth were chattering and I thought my toes would be frost bitten! My whole body was chilled. I won't be forgetting my jacket next week!

Hope you are managing to keep warm if it is cold in your neck of the woods.

Cheers to you, and hear from you when you are capable! All the best, cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools. I'm glad your family visit helped your depression but giving you something to focus on.

I thought my cold was improving but today I've been really stuffed up. I didn't sleep well but had to get up early to drop my son at work. He stayed the night as it was too far to travel from his home. I then had to babysit my grandson although he was well behaved. I took my sisters family out. It was a good day except for feeling tired & having to drive too much.

I don't know what is happening the rest of the week as my brother hasn't confirmed anything. I find that frustrating as my sister expects me to be available to do things with her so I can't just do as I please until I know for sure what my brother has planned!!!

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Sometimes it is the not knowing that can do our heads in. If I have routine and I feel in control I do better!

Life's normality can go out the window when we have to factor in other people.

My suggestion is to just try and let it all be as it will be. I know how much I get my self in a twisted mess trying to work out what is going on when others are involved.

Otherwise even breakfast can become an ordeal, in our place with my parents here anyway. What bowl should I use, your father isn't ready for his breakfast yet, that is not the right sized glass that I want, where do I sit, I don't want my cup of tea now, I will have it later.

I either took it all on board or tried to let it slide! Ha. Ha.

Wishing you well Elizabeth! Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

I think the problem is in my head. I am so busy trying to fit in with everyone else that it is just reinforcing my lack of self worth. I think no one wants to spend time with me so I will only go to my brothers to see my sister when I'm directly invited but then I'm worried that I'm showing how bad I am because I'm not doing enough with her!!!

I ended up in tears on Sunday when she wanted photos taken after church. Everyone telling me to smile when I never smile in photos because my teeth look so ugly. Photos just make me feel really ugly.

I know after my sister leaves I will be left with regret because I won't get chance to spend time with her/ In large groups I feel invisible & like I don't belong. I just wish I knew how to change my thinking so I didn't make things worse

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I suspect you are right, always being mindful of others can be a recipe for thinking yourself less worthy. It's not true of course, you do an awful lot and from reading your posts over time it's pretty obvious your reasons for helping are out of care and concern, not being subservient. From minding a grandchild to ensuring your husband's welfare -and fretting over an unreasonable DIL.

I'm sure you will have thought of this but will mention it anyway, is it possible to invite your sister to be with you for a cuppa somewhere, just the two of you ?

I remember losing a front tooth and emulating a hayseed out of a cartoon, I tried hard to keep a straight face too. Family photos are special, for most the polished looks of the person is not that important, there is simply a glow from seeing someone you love.

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

I was going to mention the same thing Croix did, is it possible for you and your sister to have some time alone together? Even if it is a couple of hours, that would be a special time for you.

My husband is able to give a lovely smile without showing his teeth at all. I too know what it is to feel self conscious about your looks. I had really bad teeth, thankfully I was able to do something about them due to a payment from a car accident...not that I suggest that to be a way to gain some money!

I hope you can organise some time just for you and your sister.

Cheers from Dools