Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Elizabeth CP!
My God that is frustrating! your workload clearly did not need that  It also leaves all those fears about hsb unresolved. We are so sorry for all this! I feels so stuck, and uncertain.
Can you insert 30 minutes somewhere? Just to stop for a moment and breathe? Even just to stretch and reset?

Remember, you cannot support anyone when you are utterly burned out, and from the comment 'I can't keep going' - we know that you know that. But perhaps, receiving permission to stop and breathe from this community will help that sit with you as a must do. And please, please try Elizabeth. Rest is essential!

Please do not hesitate to reach out to us as always! whether by 1300 22 4636 or of course just texting on the webchat: 
And as always, please keep us in the loop here.

Regards,

Sophie M.

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I find it difficult to reply because I have so much on my mind I can't explain it. I do appreciate the replies. Just knowing someone cares enough to read and try to understand enough to reply is helpful.

My hsb had the biopsy last Tuesday a week ago but we won't get the results for several weeks. No actual date. Mon to Wed was extremely stressful. On top of trying to find out the new date for the surgery NDIS contacted me to roll over his plan rather than review it. Trying to explain that his situation has changed and trying to understand what I needed to do while keeping to call as short as possible so I didn't miss calls from the hospital (Hospital staff had promised to ring me back as soon as possible) Then more calls to cancel appointments scheduled for the next couple of days once surgery was confirmed. I felt my head was spinning trying keep track of everything. Then Tuesday wed was stressful waiting to find out what was happening. He took ages in recovery and then there were other issues which needed to settle before he was deemed well enough to come home. This made t really hard to plan the rest of the week.

This week he went to respite which was supposed to give me a break but I needed to fill out forms for the NDIS and carry out piles of other administrative tasks which have taken up a lot of time. The monday I had arranged for a carer to take my hsb to respite a I had an appointment which I couldn't cancel but the carer cancelled at the last minute so I had to make other arrangements. My son asked me to take my grandson to a sport competition on Tuesday which was my one day I had totally free to catch up on things as well as rest. I didn't feel able to say no. I hate sport and it was a long drive in terrible weather so it took most of the day. (Sport is linked to very negative feeling for me)

saw a dietician for the first time on Mon It was extremely stressful and embarrassng having to admit my eating problems. I eat for comfort when stressed which has become a problem. I am ashamed of it so hide it from everyone including my hsb. The dietician was good and understood the problem was an emotional one so tried to come up with strategies to help Unfortunately knowing he is right and wants to help doesn't stop me feeling stressed about it and trying to follow his recommendations when I'm so stressed is making me feel worse. Similarly my phone session with my psych today was extremely stressful as I needed to discuss difficult issues.

[demonblaster]

Hi Elizabeth Sophie and all ☺

Yes it's near impossible I've found and still do posting when we're heads in turmoil. As you achieved and well too, I've found eventually which can take considerable time we get there. I think although it surfaces what's going on it can be therapeutic writing it down also opening possibilities to help.

I heard somewhere here that if not a sleep which of course you need but sounds so full on a lie down can replenish some energy without sleeping that can affect night sleep.

Waiting for results can certainly be quite unnerving. Hopefully not too far off.

How kind you were going to the sports day esp on your day off. That's a shame. I guess this doesn't gel with you hun but atm how you're feeling I suggest for you to look after yourself first. There'll be other times you might be up to going. You desparately need to care for yourself for now.

I like what Sophies suggesting about taking some even if small time/s out each day for quiet time.

You probably know the benefits of deep breathing. Circulating oxygen to a tense body not only helps relax, it takes focus off what's going on by concentrating on the task at hand and can reduce stress.

I've been thinking of ? possibles that might ease your load. Could a community transport driver help with travel if you have that service handy. The cost is reasonable and petrol would be a cost anyway.

Mentioned this before which could even if temporarily give your poor overloaded mind a little reprieve and help reduce stress. Wondering if you'd like to try some very simple meditation.

• Sit comfy or lay down and breathe a few times deeply.
• Focus on actually feeling your neck muscles relax.

• Think about something relaxing you like or would like to do

I know you like the garden. Picture a lovely flower or...

• Watching water trickle...
• Trees ...
• Long grass gently blowing in the wind.. gently through your hair ...
• Walking slowly
• Or even simply your favourite colour

• Allow your mind to be there. See & feel it. Keep it simple

• When your mind wanders gently guide it back. Tell yourself you'll think about it later.

This can be practised even if 5 minutes at a time.

One I envisage is seeing the Sun and the cone of Golden flecks on the water. I loved seeing that once.

Always wishing good for you both dear Elizabeth.

⚘

[demonblaster]

Hi Elizabeth ⚘ and everyone ☺

I sincerely hope you're lifes being kinder to you dear lady. 

This is never just words when I tell people they're in my thoughts. You are and quite often too. If only thoughts could send strength then people would be so much better. 

I hope you're not struggling too much with the glitches that I've no doubt will get ironed out asap. 

Amongst many here I can't see last posts but have found if you subscribe to email notifications you can see replies to a discussion (thread) that you've posted on including your thread here. 

So you can post on your thread if you're wanting to and we can see it in email. Thats if you're having trouble seeing replies. 

Sending you and your dear hubby warmth and care. 

Always best wishes for peace of mind and decent rest ⚘

[mmMekitty]

Hello Elizabeth,

I'm not expecting you to reply. I'm posting here to let you know I  am here & listening. I understand how incredibly under stress you have been & still are, for a long time now. I like the suggestions from DB & Sophie_M, to find even a few minutes for yourself. Whether or not I see you around BB, know you are in my thoughts & my heart goes out to you & your husband.

💖💖💖💖💖💖 

My best & warmest wishes for you & your husband,

mmMekitty