Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

Elizabeth CP · ‎04-07-2018

Thanks Croix & Dools,

I try to smile without showing my teeth in photos but when everyone is pressuring me to smile I become very self conscious & my attempt of a smile looks more like a grimace. A dentist suggested 2 options to make my tooth look better but one is very temporary & requires several sessions of painful work which doesn't seem worth it. The other is extremely expensive but the result could fail in the future leaving me worse off.

I suggested my sister comes to my place to go through photos so she can scan any she wants. This would be nice for both of us as the photos she wants are ones from our childhood so would be nice to share memories. Unfortunately nothing is decided until my brother decides what he wants to do & my sister wants to fit in with her husband & son. Her daughter arrives Friday making it even harder to find time.

I did get some time yesterday with her & her husband as my SIL was sick & my brother working. We couldn't go until the afternoon when her husband was free. I need to be grateful for what I get

Doolhof · ‎05-07-2018

Hi Elizabeth,

Yes, dental work can be very expensive! Working in child care I was devastated to see the condition of some young children's teeth, then I saw the parents giving kids Coke at about the age of 2. Some of the kids only had half teeth left as they had already rotted away.

I can see your point about trying to have time alone with your sister. Can you just go and pick her up and whisk her away? Or would that cause too many issues once you returned her again? Maybe I shouldn't make suggestions like that!

My sister brought out a lot of old family photos I had never seen before at her birthday recently. We all had such a great laugh over some of them.

Hope you do manage to find some time alone! Cheers from Dools

Elizabeth CP · ‎06-07-2018

It is not just the expense of dental treatment I have Ended up with long term pain in my jaw from opening it wide enough for dental work to be done.

I rang yesterday to invite my sister around to go through photos as there wasn't much planned. It never happened as she went shopping with my SIL instead. Nobody confirmed the arrangements for today. When I asked earlier I was just given nonsensical answers. I sent a text to my brother last night saying I assumed I wasn't involved in today's plans. They were out last night so ringing wasn't appropriate.

I am finding it too painful trying to be involved when I feel isolated. I'm not well at the moment which is not helping. I went to the GP the other night & go back next week to check if the medications have cleared the infection.

Doolhof · ‎07-07-2018

Hi Elizabeth,

It does sound like you are strolling at the moment. If you do not chase the family up, am I to assume that they will not call you to find out what you would like to do? If that is the case, than I can imagine how much that would hurt.

Could it be that they are all so busy they don't really acknowledge your desires? Some people need to have things spelt out clearly to them.

Hope you are soon feeling better physically as well. Not being well does not help when you have other issues to deal with too.

Cheers to you from Dools

Elizabeth CP · ‎07-07-2018

My sister rings each day after it is decided what they are doing to let me know the plans. Yesterday they went to pick up her daughter from the airport & were going to visit the places we grew up on the way home. There was no point in me going as most of the time I would just be on my own in my car trying to follow. Everyone else would be with my sister in my brothers van. Based on Wednesdays experience they would drive everywhere rather than exploring by foot. Later they went back to my brothers but I felt like I would be in the way. I feel very isolated in large groups when everyone else is talking an enjoying each others company. I know I'm not helping but I don't feel up to trying to change things. Sorry I need to close as I'm just making myself feel worse thinking about it.

Croix · ‎10-07-2018

Dear Elizabeth~

It's now a couple of days after your last post. May I ask if things have improved? Feeling excluded, even inadvertently, is a horrible feeling. Particularly as this visit is a special event.

I'm glad your sister was staying in touch on the phone, sometimes in families the more boisterous ones do take over.

So what are you doing to keep busy and cheer yourself up? Does your husband understand the problem?

Croix

Doolhof · ‎10-07-2018

Hi Elizabeth,

I'm dropping by to say "HI" as well and hope you are okay.

This afternoon I went and spent some time with the sheep. I am really going to miss them when they go home again to their own farm!

There are 4 lambs now, they are so very cute when they frolic and race around. Sometimes they are tired and the lambs cuddle up next to each other, that is sweet.

Hope you have had some nice moments today!

Cheers from Dools

Elizabeth CP · ‎10-07-2018

Thank you Croix & Dools for your caring thoughts. Glad you enjoyed the sheep Dools. Yesterday I visited my daughter instead of going to lunch with everyone. They were going somewhere I felt was expensive (my SIL's choice) & I wanted to see my dtr & grandkids. My dtr is 9 mths pregnant so unable to do much or travel far enough to join in with us in case she goes into labour & is stuck on her own or with the kids.

Sunday We went out to my parents grave & their old home. My brother stayed home so I could fit in the car with my sister. After church she came back to my place on her own & had tea & we scanned & copied family photos for her. I even found my old journal which I'd written a lot about my parents life( some of the information I'd forgotten) & also our childhood. She scanned it so she could have a copy. The time went fast but it was nice to have time together. I'd really struggled Saturday morning & walked out from a family gathering. My sister is away for a couple of days & returns tomorrow night. We'll meet in the city This time they're going by train rather than car.I've been quite sick but starting to feel a bit better. Still need to catch up on sleep as I spent quite a few nights with little or no sleep due to my illness

Doolhof · ‎11-07-2018

Hello Elizabeth,

It is wonderful you had some time with your sister. How was it going through all the old photos and the memories? I know when I do that with my sisters it can stir up so many emotions in me!

I hope all goes well for your daughter! I was talking to a lady recently whose baby was due any moment, she didn't seem to concerned at all, so hope your daughter is just as relaxed!

Sorry to read you have not been feeling well. A lack of sleep does not help either. Lately I have been wearing ear plugs, I am surprised at how improved my sleep is. I know I have always been a light sleeper, hadn't realised how much noise interferes with my sleep.

Maybe ear plugs are not an option for you if you need to listen out for your husband. Hope you find a way to catch up on your sleep!

Cheers to you from Dools

Elizabeth CP · ‎11-07-2018

Our bedroom is quiet except when my husband is unwell & coughing in which case I need to be aware so I can assist even if just making suggestions to raise the head of the bed up to reduce the risk of choking so ear plugs would not help me. Light & heat are more disrupting but not an issue at the moment. I've had sinusitis so lying down increases the stuffed up nose & difficulty breathing plus sore throat kept me awake. I tried cold & flu tablets but they made me worse. The photos were of my parents & their family & some from our childhood but from happy times. I had good parents so home life was good. My problems occured due to bullying at school or on the way to school. I never told my parents so they never had the chance to help.