Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Pamela, I decided to ring the SES while my husband was out & they moved the tree off the fence. Part of the tree was overhanging the footpath so it was a danger to passersby which meant they were prepared to help. The tree is now in the middle of the back lawn but my son will come on the weekend to help saw it up. At least it is no longer urgent so my husband is happy to wait.

My husband was always very active & prepared to help anyone who needed it so becoming blind has been difficult. The advantage of his stubbornness is that it has pushed him to try things & learn to manage as well as he can with his disability. Unfortunately the things we had in common are now the things which are difficult. I had hoped we'd have time once we were older & the children grown up to pursue them again.

[PamelaR]

So glad to hear your fallen tree is solved!!

Not being able to do the things you had planned on must be disappointing.... I can relate to that. When we retired we were always going to go grey nomading. Unfortunately, I don't think it would be good for either me or my husband. I'd have to do all the navigating (even if we had GPS0) - that would be extremely stressful for me. Don't want that. So looking at more local stuff we can do.

Your husband must be feeling terrible. I know my brother does not want to admit he's going blind. I generally have to ask subtle questions about - oh, can you see that person over there etc. Also, I understand and empathise how difficult it is for you. Especially their denial.

[PamelaR]

Just letting you know Elizabeth CP - I've sent a email off to a Mosaic class. Should start in March!!!

[Elizabeth CP]

Good on you!!! I've been caught up dealing with the tree & had to babysit today. It was just one child who is OK on his own although he wants me to do things with him the whole time.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I liked the fish and tree metaphor so much I popped it in the Quotes That I Like thread, hope you don't mind. I thought it was spot-on and others would appreciate it.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix, I'm glad you liked the fish & the tree metaphor. I was starting to improve early last week & started to get some energy back but crashed badly again. Felt unwell Friday while babysitting & then exhausted ever since. A little better today but still emotionally fragile & feeling useless!!! I need to try to do something I started earlier before getting interrupted otherwise I will struggle further. I'm not thinking very logically ATM so will need to post later when I can think straight

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm probably doing you a terrible injustice by asking this - but you did not leap into a big demanding task straight off rather than easing your way back in with more modest targets?

No, of course you wouldn't do anything like that🤞

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I have been anxious to get on with another task but wanted to plan it carefully so I could manage it effectively. Unfortunately plans became messed up. A tree blew down a week ago & was leaning over the fence. It needed to be moved but was too difficult for me but my husband decided we needed to move it. That triggered a lot of stress as I was concerned re the risk of injuring ourselves or causing further damage. In despiration I rang the SES & they helped as there was a risk to passersby. Myson cut the larger limbs up with his chainsaw later in the week but I needed to mulch the small branches & leaves while it was fresh & would mulch easily. This took a lot of time. Then I needed to babysit Wed afternoon for my son. Then my daughter needed me to babysit Friday. That was a long day leaving early & getting back after 9.30pm. The grandkids kids were well behaved & I enjoy spending time with them but I was feeling unwell & exhausted. I'm a lot better now but still more tired than normal. Today I tried to start a project but things took longer than expected but I also had other demands which I didn't expect.

I am going away next Friday on a 7 day cruise which should be relaxing.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Well I guess your fish is going to need a new tree. I'm glad you thought of the SES, a neat way out of a tricky situation.

Hopefully you will get a chance to rest the back, and take things at a calmer pace on the cruise. (Ships of that nature normally don't need cooking facilities changed or re-roofing)

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Yes I think the ship's staff might get upset if I started ripping out kitchen cupboards to rearrange the kitchen or pulled up the bathroom tiles to replace them!!! Once I've shown my husband around he should be fine. If he gets lost & I'm not with him he can ask someone. I'm just hoping it isn't too hot too explore onshore.

I think my fish has enough trees for this week. I have a lot on I just filled in the hole in the lounge room brick wall ready to paint. At least it will be ready once I finish smoothing the edges. I decided that laying bricks was too large a tree for this fish so I cheated & used chipboard. It is hidden behind a settee anyway & I couldn't justify the effort & very high risk of me doing a terrible job. My brother said he'd help but I had to wait till he finished his living area which would be weeks but more likely months & I couldn't wait. I also felt bad expecting help from him when I know he is under a lot of pressure.

I hate my dark brown brick wall as it makes the room dark & depressing. I've found in the past that colour affects my mood. Years ago I had a bedroom decorated in browns & creams. I liked every element in the room & it had a lovely view but I noticed I was depressed & it was worse when I spent time in my bedroom. I changed the floor covering & bedspread to blue & my mood improved significantly. Dark rooms also lower my mood. I have wanted to do something with the brick wall for several years but haven't had the opportunity. I'm trying to be sensible so rather than attempting the whole room at nce I'm doing the brick wall first probably just the undercoat this week. Then I'll attempt the rest. Hopefully this will make it easier & going away will take my mind off it. I painted the ceiling last year so that will reduce the work required.

I'd better go & do my walk while my filler dries.