Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Elizabeth CP · ‎01-12-2016

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

Croix · ‎27-02-2018

Dear Rosie the Riveter / Handy Andie / Elizabeth~

Have you considered as a temporary measure mucking around with the lighting in that room, perhaps something like a spot with a tint in it? Not a good or long term solution but easy, might do something to take the pressure off.

Croix

Elizabeth CP · ‎28-02-2018

Lighting wouldn't work. I have filled the hole Maybe not professionally but it is hidden behind furniture & now it is sealed properly. Took longer than I wanted due to interruptions & fatigue. Yesterday I finished all the prep & one coat of undercoat. Today I did a second undercoat so it looks better. I overdid it yesterday. Today I went out to a carers function which gave me a break. Unfortunately had to rush home so my husband could get some scans as he's unwell. I didn't feel like painting afterwards but wanted to get it over with. Tonight I tried to relax & I am going away on FRiday for a week providing my husband is well enough. He sees the GP tomorrow to find out results. Tomorrow will be just packing & catching up with mundane chores. I will try to take it easy.The rest of the painting can wait a couple of weeks.

Elizabeth CP · ‎12-03-2018

Well I did get away. My husband went back to the GP on Thursday to get results of tests which confirmed that he was well enough to travel. The more serious concerns the GP had were ruled out. The holiday was good except my DIL ringing as well arrived back reprting that my son is sick & she is going away for 2 weeks so expects me to watch out for him & the kids. The issues regarding him I am discussing in a different thread because it is about my role as carer. In this thread I'm sticking to how Im coping.

Babysitting on Saturday for my daughter worry about my son & then having my son & grandkids around all day today have left me feeling very flat & unmotivated & tired. I need to paint my lounge but now have to fit it around visits with my son & his kids which is adding to my stress. I am struggling to find ways to break up tasks to make it more manageable

Elizabeth CP · ‎17-03-2018

I wrote a post but my intenet crashed so it was lost. I'm struggling with competing demands from projects I need to finish. assisting my son while his wife is away & he has been MI so there was a risk of him needing to go to hospital & therefore unable to care for his kids so I needed to help to reduce his stress. Plus my husband has had appointments which have left me feeling guilty because I'm not supervising his exercises & other things he needs help with as much as he needs. I feel stretched in too many directions which is leaving me exhausted & overwhelmed & at risk of crashing. I feel like it is requiring so much effort to motivate myself to do things. I should be cooking tea now but I feel too lazy. I need to learn to switch off so I can have a proper break. It sounds easy but it isn't. Worry about my son is causing a lot of stress. I feel alone with people just checking on me to make sure I'm doing what I should for others eg my son but I'm supposed to just keep going myself. I don't count Sorry I'm just feeling negative & even things I normally lime are a chore at the moment

PamelaR · ‎17-03-2018

Hiya ElizabethCP

Sounds like life is hectic for you atm. So much to do. Any cause that you can think off for your negative feelings or why the chores you like doing aren't worth the effort?

What techniques do you use to 'switch off'? Do you need some ideas? Anyone out there who can help?

Kind regards

PamelaR

Elizabeth CP · ‎17-03-2018

Tiredness is a big factor in leading me to go downhill. Lack of time means I'm unable to do the things which help such as walking which in turn leads me into poorer eating habits.Eating badly & not exercising makes me feel like a failure but then I'm too tired & today is too hot to go for a walk so it ends up with a downward spiral. Worry about my son doesn't help. It brings up bad memories from the past when he was very unwell & high risk of self harm. I really need more ideas on what to do to help him. It is different to the past when he was living at home but now he has a wife & children & his wife brings out the worst in him. I was hoping for more ideas in the thread I wrote under the carers group of threads.

Guilt & worry are causing my mind to go into overdrive so even reading or watching TV are not enough to block them out.

PamelaR · ‎18-03-2018

Hiya Elizabeth CP.

Ahh, tiredness, not good for one's mental health. Need sleep, good food and exercise. However, when I'm down, that's the last thing I want to do. I'm like you, don't eat properly, don't exercise. I remember someone on one of the posts saying - you've got to push through that. It's hard, but I'm going to try.

You seem to feel responsible for your son. Not being a mother, I'm not sure if I can provide anything useful to you. I do wonder though, when does a mother start to let go and let their children make their own life and not feel guilt and worry? You also have your own life to lead and perhaps should set some goals for yourself? Maybe one of the goals could be to lessen your worry and guilt? It's hard I imagine to do that. Have a think about the underlying reasons for this worry and guilt? You could set up a list of 'what do I achieve by worry and guilt' and 'what do I achieve if I don't worry and don't feel guilt'. Challenge your thinking, look for options for yourself.

Croix · ‎18-03-2018

Dear Elizabeth~

causing my mind to go into overdrive so even reading or watching TV are not enough

OK, I know the feeling well and find that sitting watching/reading and so on is often not enough to break the hamster-wheel (or merry-go-round if you prefer) of the mind. My alternatives are anything involving moment and exercise, even if I'm physically tired and can't do that much. I think it is something about the body getting involved. Just going outside the house and around can help.

Talking to someone interesting can help too. Mind you I suppose planning on single-handedly replacing all the house foundations might be a bit of a distraction:)

Croix

Ggrand · ‎18-03-2018

Hello Elizabeth,

I'm sorry your having such a hard time..Yes children, once a mum always a mum, regardless of how old our children get we are always worrying about them.. I will try and find your new thread, not sure if I can be of any help but I'll try to support you there as well.

Have you tried to play, solitaire or Marjong before bed, something brain stimulating..

Kind thoughts

Grandy

Elizabeth CP · ‎18-03-2018

Croix I will NOT try replacing the house foundations. It is too hard. Never want to do that again. A previous house was built by crook builder so we actually had to get our sons under the house with screwdriver & hammer to dig away the dirt to put in new stumps. There was only enough room to lie down so normal tools were useless. The builder 'Forgot to put stumps under load bearing walls. After long court case builder was banned from going near the property as he repeatedly did things to make things worse on purpose!!!! Not a good time. While doing things requiring concentration & /or physical activity is often helpful & distracting me & can make me feel like I'm in control once I overdo it it has the opposite effect so the moment I sit down I am too exhausted to do anything & my mind goes into overdrive.