Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[John2018]

Hi,

new to this.

I am the opposite after my split 7 weeks ago. I am a mess at times and other times I’m not to bad... though I hate the alone time and try to avoid staying home as much as possible.

i walk a lot and count my steps to get my mind of things. I want to constantly catch up with people and that can be hard as everyone is busy at times. So much that I might get anxious knowing I have to go home with out a walk at times.

I can’t wait for the day I love myself again and enjoy my own time.

Its now 11am and I’m still lying on my couch, haven’t slept in my room for weeks,

I’m no expert but good on you that your enjoying your own space, I’m praying for that to happen to me soon.

[Guest_1584]

Gday john. Thanks for dropping in and the thoughts, hope your surviving ok.

Yeah it's weird l suppose everyone's different, different ways of coping aren't they. l have always needed some time to myself even back as a kid. Probably too much lately though and l do get lonely sometimes for sure , l miss a partner but there's not much l can do about that right now, manage to see a few people most weeks though and get out and about somewhere.

Today my daughter and l went up to the main town to do some stuff then came home later and hung out. Last week two brothers came over ones down from interstate and we sat out on my new 1/2 finished porch, few beers , was a damn nice arvo.

but l've also felt very peaceful with this home time as well , this house has an amazing calm about it . Such a shame because there's no life in this town for me at all although there is some damn nice women running around . But l've been thinking of moving, get a life, just wish l could take the house with me.

gf and l were back on for awhile again there but , not looking good l'm afraid.

l love walking too especially late in the night , hope it helps you out a bit with things but yeah don't worry people soon start laying low on you at times like thsi bit that doesn't worry me l don't really feel like them mostly anyway. That's not the company l miss right now.

Hope your doin ok mate,

[blondguy]

Hey RX (and John2018)

I missed your last post...I humbly beg your forgiveness 😉

Thankyou for the complimentary post....Even though you wrote it in February you have just made my day!

Your posting is always really good value and spoken from the heart. That takes serious inner strength RX. Good1

I love the term 'my little ferrari' You are spot on there and no worries...that was very cool actually.

You are an important part of what we are doing here...that is a no brainer RX. When I split up with my ex I had a vent to my GP about being 'alone' as I was a mess....she replied " Paul...are you reasonably happy being on your own"? I replied ..."Yes I am okay with it" My female GP then said " thats great Paul...so whats the problem?"

Sometimes there is nothing better than female logic and understanding

I understand when you mentioned being in a 'bubble' I am only here because my older brother had terrible medical help with his schizophrenia and I couldnt find a GP that understood mental illness back in the 1980's. So I am only here to make a 'difference' and help people with anxiety/depressive issues 🙂

There are no expectations for you (or myself) to post. To have you on the forums is a breath of fresh air RX whenever you choose to say g'day

Thankyou too for your balanced post on the multicultural threads too!

Really good to have you as part of what we are trying to achieve RX....(to be here for others that are doing it hard)

Good1 RX

Paul

[geoff]

Hi RX, great to hear from you again and welcome John.

Paul is right when he says 'sometimes there is nothing better than female logic and understanding', that's what I don't have, I only have myself and maybe I do make wrong decisions but have to wear the consequences.

Getting old is my biggest headache but unfortunately, I can't stop that.

My Best Wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_1584]

Gday Paul mate and thanks so much for the nice words.

l hope your doing ok atm and the reno'ing is giving you lots of headaches to l bet eh.

l guess what the doctor told you is fair enough , tbh l'm torn right now because l love this house and the spot so much, l could make a beautiful home here , and l'm so sick of moving.

Hah ya like my little Ferrari eh , nice one and guess what , so do l haha. And it just so happens that she's still spinning her wheels around me in and out , we're stuck, no doubt about it, on each other. If only l could get her really nice backside back to Australia . Nah tbh , l really dunno how anythings gonna pan out , keep ya posted.

Hi ya Geoff and thanks very much for dropping in. l'm sorry your still in the doldrums atm mate , damn that's no good.

l dunno , yeah some decisions are a really hard thing on your own sometimes isn't it , one thing l found when my marriage broke up. But really , there's lots of others l find much much easier, because it's also really complex sometimes as a couple working out directions and stuff in life isn;t it, agreeing. l must admit inmost ways l find that stuff a bit easier now tbh , sometimes 10fold easier. but there are times l also do miss it and could use it.

Maybe you could sell up and move over closer to the family Geoff, just a thought.

Take care people .

Rx

[Guest_1584]

Well , sadly my Ferrari and me can't work it out. Mainly money matters, the lack of to visit meantime or to eventually set up house somewhere else. lt'S just not doable.

So , it's gonna be back to where l was and why l started this thread in the first place. So much time alone and existing , although quite contently a lot of the time so at least that's something. Feeling it again now though that gf and l are done again l must admit.

And wondering about the future , what future will that be , what if's , to stay or move , the works.

Back to the drawing board. l really evevy people that have had a stable home for years and years. Oddly though a lot of them would envy me because l've done most of the things they'll only ever dream of . A lot wouldn't care less but many will have regrets to l guess , just like l have only different.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Such a perfect day here today , beautiful sunny autumn sunday.

Nothing on so l thought l'd go check out this mountain my daughter told me about so l went over there for a few hours , wondered about up there.

Views for miles . lt's only 20mins away and l didn't even know it was there. You can drive up thank God, not big on walking up mountains , l prefer the flat stuff.

l worked saturday till 2 , then hung around at home so the mountain was the wkend really. At least it was something though.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm , l was just re reading bits here and your post, which was damn good too l gotta say , makes a lot of sense.' Just wish l could allow myself to feel ok with it. Well l can on one level but on the other l always feel like l should be doing something more.

But on the other side of the coin , myself , l'm a big believer in life presenting it's new gifts to us in it;s own sweet way and own sweet time , yaknow. Not something you can chase or go and find. l'm not sure if it does happen like that , l know it can for me and has , but l;'m not sure if that has been always , or just times in life l got lucky , or what.

But your right , so many people out there chasing chasing , trying to make it happen, fill that void. l wonder how it works out for them . l've known people that seem to have everything you could possibly want , yet they're out there chasing all the time , as if what they have still leave sthem void, l never get that.

when my gf and l broke up , she said well , l'm not sure what l am going to do now , she was 49 at that time, but l know the gods will put in front of me what l am meant to have and receive in this life from here but if that is nothing else now then l will still be relatively content / l'm very sad about us but l also believe the Gods will show us the way to make this work in the future if it's possible.

And she means it all , they're her beliefs and the way she's always done things. Which in ways are my way also , but she can find more peace inside than l can. ; l tend to have a bit of a battle with myself even though l've always believed you can't make things happen , not the real things in life , the stuff you can't buy.

lately at night if l'm home or get home , l can't be bothered with TV , or hanging around the house, l just like going to bed and jumping on the pc , or listening to music on ear phones, or doing a few emails. And on one hand this is the first time in 23 years l've been able to do it and live like this and do anything l want. So it's damn nice , l've got a magnificent bed l built myself and frankly if there's nothing else on offer, l love jumping in and to hell with the world, And if l must be in it alone then l feel really really content.

But inside l also fight with myself , this is no good for me , l should do something , l should be out there, have more life, l dunno. It's dark , the days done , l often have been doing things it's just over now that's all, so why do l fight myself .?

Scuse the rant.

[CMF]

Hi RX,

Wow, that mountain sounds divine, how lucky you are to have ti so close by. A few things you said struck a chord with me;

'l'm a big believer in life presenting it's new gifts to us in it;s own sweet way and own sweet time , yaknow. Not something you can chase or go and find.' I agree, even though my thread doesn't show this at the moment I do think this is correct.

'But inside l also fight with myself , this is no good for me , l should do something , l should be out there, have more life, l dunno. It's dark , the days done , l often have been doing things it's just over now that's all, so why do l fight myself .?'

I too fight with myself. It is a matter of learning to just 'be'. Maybe it is because we are used so being so busy and on the go all the time so when free time presents itself we don't know what to do with it. Why can't we just sit and enjoy it?

cmf x

[Ggrand]

Hello Randomx,

Love the mountain, the view would be awesome..I have mountain views but they are around 30 kilometres away, but I look at them every time I'm on my veranda, they are in full view.. What I like to watch it a storm when it over the mountains, it's beautiful to watch but scarey as well..Nature is beautiful..

I listen a lot to what you say, here and around the forums, Randomx you have really good insight into your life..

I love where I live, it's quiet, no people around, mountain views 190degrees around me...Cows in front of my home, but like you I'm unsettled here, I want to move, but I'm stuck here financially..

I think that if you enjoy jumping into your bed of a night and being on the internet is what your enjoying, please enjoy this..Don't question what you think you should be doing, just enjoy what you are doing at the time...

I really enjoy listening to you Randomx, you have a unique way of talking. please don't change.

Warm and caring 🤗🤗 hugs.

Grandy