Do you think the way l'm living is ok for now?

[Guest_1584]

Hi BB.

l feel like this is another dumb question from rx , but ah well.ln times of uncertainties we might ask some of those right.

We sep' and divorced 5yrs ago , threw life into a spin. Together 19yrs before. l've stayed in the area to be close to my d, 16now, and finally got another house of my own 15mths ago.

l was with someone new nearly 2yrs but it hasn't worked out unfortunately but being long distance 70% of the time, there was lots of days and nights spent at home in our little private bubble world of messaging and skyping .

So now that we've split, l still haven't built any sort of a new life really. Got this hosue because loved the spot and the house itslef and great views and it's only 20mins form my d's town. lhoped l'd like it here , maybe even make a new life. But ldon't really fit in this town and so it's beena lot more time at home, l work at home too.

Nit sure if l'll stay here , but l do love the house and spot and views and in spare time can easily just hang out around the house days on end , basically alone, bt l dunno, it's just and old renovator but just really comfy to hang out in, live.

If l'm working l always try to get out most days, pick up spares or spin over to one of the other towns for a change of scenery , or some lunch, whatever.Or locally up to the shops even , groceries whatever , anything just to get out for awhile.

lately l've sort of developed a bit of a pattern in spare time. love hanging out around the house a day , 2 or 3, but then l make myslef go see some, a drink with my brother, or another mate l know, or up to the main town , see my daughter some days, or beach , go for a hike, or something. No pubbing or night life.

Same with wkends, l try to get out somewhere one day, hang out at home the other.

But that's pretty well life has been since split with gf. Mostly alone , andl enjoy lately just hanging out around this house , maybe way way too much , not sure. music or some reno's or movies , internet. It's just big and roomy and airy , views , and comfy. l often get claustrophobic but never in this house,

Do you think what l'm doing atm is ok , l really worry l'm alone too much or taht l'll slip into hermitizing too much, l dunno.

Any thoughts welcome.

rx.

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm and grandy and thanks for the input , always appreciated.

Yeah cm it's bloody annoying isn't it. Probably the wisest man l even knew once told me, there are times in life that you must just be still, just be still. Which l lived and believe myself , but yaknow, sometimes it's nice to hear it from someone you admire isn't it , like a back up to your ideals.

The problem l have is there are times in life l know that if if l just stop , live me, whatever that is at the time , things will come , l've known they're coming and that all l have to do is my thing and the universe will take care of the rest. But where l have troubles with it is when l can't feel what's coming, this is when l fight myself . Well this last 12mths l just haven't been able to tell., GF and me have been all over the place and with many decisions depending on whether or not we work it out and it's all really rocked my apple cart haha, pain in the ass actually .

Maybe now or soon though , the feelings will come and peace again with it, hoping. Not sure if that will make sense but that's how l tick haha. Anyway , at least my cards are still saying good things, that's something.

Thanks for the kind words grandy very appreciated . Not much hope of changing so good or bad we're stuck with me. l'm coming for a scotch on that veranda one day btw. The views are bizarre really from my place . There's 3,000 acs of dead flat but beautiful pastures and farms in one direction , pencil willows and a mountain and roof tops in another, and the back of the town from the other side. so hey , pends on the mood which way you wanna face.

l'm really pleased for you that you love where you live , no nicer feeling if we can get that right, good for you . Big hills and mountains around are really something aren't they , so much earth and spirit in mountains.

l hear you about the stuck angel though, one reason l need to make up my damn mind wth l'm gonna do, to be able to pay off a new place somehwere else now thanks to divorce. But it's about life for me as well , l know your feeling in ways too .

Me l'm hoping the answers come because racking my brain can't seem to find them so .

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

Just saying hi. Your last paragraph is spot on....'Its about life for me as well' Your quality of life is the key to having peace in your life. You have worked your butt off to build a nice place and good on you RX. I wish I could sit on that verandah and have a look at the view you have with a wild turkey lol

Answers are a pain....I hear you there for sure. I also spend a lot of time trying to understand which fork in the road I should take where my relationships are concerned. If there is any doubt...dont....not yet anyway 🙂

Always a bonus to have you as part of the Beyond Blue Family RX

You Rock

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Gday Paul and thanks so much mate.

Yep we

ll get you up here one day haha

Doubt can be a strange thing can't it and come from many places , also often very hard to distinguish too with all the other things floating around up there. But l do agree and cheers for that. Real doubt for me has always proved spot on , unfortunately though often after l doubted the doubt and went ahead anyway.

Still practicing .

rx

[blondguy]

Hey hey RX

Doubting the Doubt....I love that one..very cool!

Sometimes any decision we make is based on our best judgement at that specific time in our lives and is the correct decision as per our priorities

Id give serious dollars for a crystal ball...ha!

I hope your daughter is doing okay. She has a dad that has a huge heart. I dont think you have to practise to hard....you have a good sense of clarity

Whats up for the weekend RX? I think the Supercars are on from Perth this weekend...cool

Go Ford 🙂

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Ehya Paul , thanks again mate.

Love some of your thoughts on things to mate btw , always wisdom in them

Funny you should mention a crystal ball bc guess what , tomorrow someones coming l haven't seen in years and she's the closest thing to one l've ever met. She's also got an IQ of 157 , so l'm kinda nervous about her coming tbh. l know she'll say things bc she'll pick up my sitch or we'll talk about it anyway. Maybe l should wear a lead helmet or something keep her outa my head huh.

Anyway so that's tomorrow and hopefully l catch up with that daughter of mine Sunday , or else maybe l'll watch those Fords. love the super cars. Went to Philip Island one year for the bikes , what a cool wkend that was , we camped , great fun.

Cheers and have a good one eh

rx

[blondguy]

Hey RX

found that thread..I think its good value as there are many people may benefit from any positives on it 🙂

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/online-dating-#qlmE0HHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Look after my verandah mate lol

Paul

[Guest_1584]

ahh thanks man yep l found it. hasn't been used for long time has it but eh maybe l'll grace it with my online tales from back when haha.

well my crystal ball turned up today and as l thought , straight to the heart of the matter. No keeping this women outa your head believe me. Well she's not intrusive at all very sensitive actually but she also knows and if she thinks she has to give it a nudge she does.

she told me a lot about gf and why it didn't work out , all spot on to the letter but also a lot clearer now too and l have more closure and understanding , although sad it was none the less also really helpful .

She asked about the house too she knew , l was gonna talk that over with her anyway so l explained my sitch and about the move l've been thinking about , where and everything.

She said it's odd but there's nothing about me here, it's all about the new area there's music new people and lots of life and and things going on for me . She also said there's someone new there l'll meet almost straight away . Said my daughter will like it there and she'll probably move over with me later. Strange she doesn't know anything about my daughter l don't want anyone delving into her life or head but she said all this stuff which was exacto without me even bringing her up. It was good things but all around me moving and my daughter being too much for this area and needing more which she does. She's been complaining more and more. She's very smart and a very good artists and she's thinking about going to the uni over in the area l'm thinking about.

She even brought up tattoos and my daughters been asking if she can get one, keep saying wait until she's 18 and thought about it more but the friend said she thinks she might actually become a tattooist later . which wouldn't surprise me one bit actually, right down her alley and type of art she does.

She said l have to start thinking about myself it's time now and my daughter will be just fine from here.

And l made her a cuppa and we talked for awhile , she's back to Perth tomorrow so it was damn nice of her to pop in before she left,

Really interesting but weird day .

rx

[Guest_1584]

l feel really strange today after all this thing from yesterday.

l mean who knows with this stuff someone like that tells you , except if it all lines up and fits to a T, what else am l suppose to think but maybe it's right.

But if i is , then it's gonna be a whole new life for me soon and l will be moving away from here and finally away from ex w and the world l've known so long. And if it is then gf and l are truly done and we are both off and onto new lives. Maybe it's real this time , we've split before . Maybe we never talk again.

l worry that l'm not up to starting again. But if l didn't , what would be then , maybe sit here instead and watch life pass me by until l'm old and done.

[Guest_1584]

Feeling very overwhelmed, kinda wishing l didn't talk to her .

[CMF]

Hey RX,

wow and wow. I'd be overwhelmed too, so much to think about and the 'what ifs' . Sometimes you need to take that leap of faith. If you're not completely happy where you are then even more so. It's a lot to absorb for sure. Sit on it for a bit, think it through.

there could be an opportunity for something more for you. As Smallwood says on his thread, live, don't just exist.

wishing the best for you.

cmf x