Im new. Unsure how to start.

[Sapphire_]

Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.

[startingnew]

hello and welcome to the forums

firstly take a few deep breaths. your safe here and you are able to speak about anything you like.

BB is a very caring and supportive community thats free of judgment

so it seems your having trouble controlling your anxiety? would that be correct?

[Sapphire_]

Im just so depressed and think i have anxiety. I dont really know how to say how i feel. I've never done this before. I was going to go see a doctor but am too afraid to. I am just having trouble trying to ask for help, it makes me feel sick like im about to panic and cant breath. Sometimes i feel like i am nothing.

[demonblaster]

Hey darl 🙂

You've made your first important step in getting help, well done.

It's hard for you but you'll find once you start opening up the rest should flow. You need to let it out hun & here's as mentioned a good safe place to do so.

How bout start off with saying one thing that's upsetting you and if you feel like saying more go for it, we're listening, care and want to help in anyway we can. Then when you've got what you need to out you could print this and give to Dr that'll be able to put you onto continuing assistance as well as here you'll always have.

Stress needs an out darl and writing is a good way esp when people have an understanding of your pain.

Then maybe later you could talk to hubby. Do you have a good relationship?
Are you getting much sleep, I imagine not poor thing, it pulls us down.

Let it out darl

[Coffeebean]

Hi. A good GP will recognise if you're distressed, and will give you time, and won't judge you. Can I suggest that you make a double appointment, then there's no pressure to get it all out in 2 minutes. Even better if you can take someone for support, if not your husband, maybe a friend or sibling? Can I guess that even if you haven't spoken with your husband, that he probably notices something is wrong.

I hope you're feeling a bit less anxious now.

CB

[startingnew]

im glad you have written back

there is a few things that you could do

on here there is a K-10 questionaire that can help identify depression and also anxiety. that could be a good starting point for you.

i think speaking to your gp about how your feeling would be a good idea too, they arent there to judge you and can also put you in touch with other support services.

it can be really tough to express how your feeling, and thats ok. take a deep breath, listen to you body. what are you feeling? what sort of thoughts are you having?

i can give you some coping strategies if you like to help settle your anxiety...?

[Sapphire_]

I just feel like everything is always my fault. I was made redundant at the start of the year so we have financial trouble. Im at uni full time and cant keep up because i forget it all. Then i just cant be bothered. Also because i am studying 4 units of psychology so i feel like a total fake/fraud. I only need to do these 4 units to transfer but i just dont want to do them. I just feel like a total failure and like a burden to my hubby. I get so angry all the time like rage. Over stupid little things because i have no coping mechanism. I hate myself. Like really hate myself. I feel so ashamed to even leave my house. I dont go out anymore. I dont have any friends. I try not to talk to my family because im ashamed that i cant talk to them. I sleep like 12 hrs and never want to get up. I think i have had depression like symptoms all my life. I started self harming in my teens. And have done it off and on since. I have done it recently. I just want to disappear. I feel like everyone would be better off without me. And i really scare myself because i just want out.

[Sapphire_]

Sorry that all just came out. I only meant to write a little bit. I shouldnt have wrote that much

[Sapphire_]

Oh god. I replied a long reply and its not posted. I knew i shouldn't have done it.

[startingnew]

Sapphire dont stress

Sometimes longer posts and posts in general can take a bit esp when its busy. Itll come though.