Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello beautiful,

Grandy you are doing so so well. It's a credit to you. So glad to hear of the organisation 'flourish '. I was starting to wonder about when you got home.

Grandy, visitation, leave passes and having the ability to walk hospital grounds all depends on your stay so far. It depends on individuals well being and it is very common to have these restrictions at the beginning of your stay. Remember, the patients that now have these, were also in your position. Give it time hon. I know it is unfair. I also know, from experience, it makes it trillion times worse when you don't have family friends about. This is why we are all super super super proud of you 😍🤗. You've got this lovely lady. 💪💪💕💕🤗.

Giving you a big warm hug 🤗🤗.

Take good care beautiful lady.

Lee

[Lee lee 73]

.....it still would have been nice if a nurse walked with you or got you a chocolate on your behalf though...so glad the 'flourish' did that for you....

Hello to everyone.....❤💓🤗

Lee

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

Just read your latest post and still have to reply to u on mine- other post on mine not thru yet. You're lucky you have flourish. I'll have to look them up. I was staying in horrible conditions & it took me 5 weeks to get any leave. Hang in there you. It's an experience hey. I've snuck my pH in, not meant to have it lol. I also bought an intricate colour by numbers colouring in book and textas & pencils to pass the time. Have spoken to many of the patients too. Hope you're doing OK. Sorry haven't read back on your thread, maybe when I don't have to b so sneaky with my pH as I can't let them catch me.

Waves to all the other supporters Lee, DB and all MMx

[demonblaster]

Hey gorgeous, 👋 to Lee Magic Mandy if you're👂🏻Peppy and all ☺

Floss VERY happy to hear you say you think you're doing good, I think thats the first time you've backed yourself..💃 hoola hoop dance...YOU GO GIRL..🎈🎉🍹 and cracker you did a good about yourself in the journal...charging my/our little Golden Angel. I've been thinking about goods too.

Good on you Lee was going to say similar and thought same nurse could have gone with or got choccy but then might have been busy and knew Flourish or someone could help. Honey they're giving you the best possible care by the sounds.

3rd wk coming up. Goes fast. I was thinking it'll be good you too won't be alone at Xmas and by then you'll I hope feel more settled and familiar with staff and some other people there.

When you said Flourish at mine who sound great I thought was a spello. And home support too WOW Grandy this is amazing maybe one of them might walk with you tho you're going alone which would help with confidence I'd think. So happy you're getting such amazing help lovely way better than what our Magic loves gone through and coming out the other side eh champ 🤗✊

Pizza sounded yum and trifle. My heart goes out to you honey so many painful triggers.. just so wrong.

😄 gremlins 0. 13. cooool very Lucky for some and you deserve luck ya gorgeous 🤗 Spoiling you with extra hugs cause you're sticking with it

I said to Mum once when its dull I feel that way and she said about truth in some sayings like under the weather. I know now why I dislike dull rooms or sky its how you feel in hard times but darker. Lights a great thing.

Ummm I bought a couple of yums except 😁 I did.. I did see puddy tats Destiny & Eternity biting and jumping up when they got a fright with the wrappers...then...pounce... CUTE or WHAT... excuse me...Awe come here you little darlings I could tell they needed a cuddle, shame they don't realise it and want to play... sooo... minus 1 🍫 and oh yeah love the fruit mince pies do you mmm...

Grandy I think too you really are doing well, you're still there and doing things...

Grandy winning...beasty gets losers prize 💣to chew on

Big love untold 🤗 sweet friend you're gaining power lady👍

Sleep well everyone. Good days tomorrow, last thought before bed and first on waking 🕊

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

The first thing I want to say is I value you, becuse you are the person you are, you have tenacity, empathy and kindness, as well as a whole load of love inside you. It's easy to say you bring hope to others here, and when hope is hard to find you simply bring relief. It's easy to say becuse it is true and obvious.

There is more, you want to go home, I've felt that too. My answer was to lose myself in stories, living in the present in the ward all the time is a great burden, if you can get your mind onto unrelated happier things for a while please do so.

You talked of your age, OK you are not 28, but there is still scope for so much, and time to do it, feel it, enjoy it. Your life is NOT locked to the past for ever. I'm a fair bit older but I sure hang onto that thought.

Croix

(🎎 I cant' normally do icons, however a special one for you, I have no idea what the figures are, however the thing that caught my attention was they were together -no alone
-C)

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

How are you today beautiful? What are you thinking and feeling? 😉😙.

I have some flowers for you - yellow lillies to brighten up your room 😀😀. I hope you like them.I've also got more lindt chocolates for you - I did buy a little extra for DB as well 😉😉.

Grandy, I was thinking, when you're ready to join in on the walks, maybe listen to music with your earphones/headphones - to help you ease into the situation. Just a gentle suggestion lovely.

It's raining here where I am - for a third day. It's nice listening to the rain. Let's just listen to it together.

I do hope you are ok gorgeous. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you - truly.

Always in my thoughts and heart 😍. Sitting with you, holding your hand 🤗🤗

A warm hello to everyone. MM - you stay strong too lovely lady 💪.

Lee ❤🤗❤🤗

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

I am following your hospital stay and wishing you well. I didn’t mean for you to try to deceive the psychs, but more just go along with the programme as that is what will see change and get you home. A fake it till you make it approach. It is hard but it can help. I did it yesterday. Not allowed to even go and get chocolate! I am glad there is a FLourish worker to help you with this.

From reading your posts it sounds like you are taking part much more and trying really hard.

I have only been hospitalised once , many yeArs ago and it was entirely voluntary and I could have walked out anytime and it wasn’t a psych facility, so very different from your experience, but I did need the rest. It helped that I had an amazing psychiatrist. But I would avoid hospital now.

It is a windy day here and I can hear leaves being blown all over my back yard. Later I shall take my dogs out for a walk around some lakes near here.

I am very sad about Amanda and I must say it makes me concerned for what can happen here and who by.

meanwhile I am thinking of you and hoping your Sunday is relaxing and not too stressful

tess x

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Croix,Lee, Magic, Tess,Peppy, and all...🙋🏻‍♀️👋..

Magic....Yes I’m doing okay Magic, thanks hun...Flourish have you heard of them..They work in most hospital rehabilitation units/wards. They have all been through mh issues of their own, and are so helpful...but they can’t get me out of here, and they repeat and report to psychiatrist on my progress, I only found that out today...ahh haa. Now I know how Psychiatrists knows what I do/say of a day...

Croix...Thank you for your words to me....They are so kind and I’m at a loss as what to say...You wrote that you value me...( I’m blushing now).. ☺️....Thank you so very much....Croix I have always been in awe of a few CC, and your one of them...your so excellent at helping people and I enjoy listening to you....Thank you for your suggestion of loosing myself in stories...your words are very helpful, kind and definitely a must for me to do...my first distraction is posted on your thread...Thank you so very much..I feel honoured that you have sent me an emoji, when I know you don’t usually...here’s ones or two for you Dear Mr Croix..💜🤗🌹...

Lee...Thank you for your suggestion of ear phones. if I go on another walk...the morning walks are half an hour and it’s around the hospital, and they go to the cafeteria/kiosk each time...that’s at the emergency entrance,MIT’s extremely busy, I don’t think I could do it..the evening walks are done only if there are enough people to go....needs to be st least 4 patients....Most like the morning one..but it’s okay, I am not pushing for the walk....Thank you for the beautiful yellow Lillie’s..oh and the Lindt chocolate,mi can’t wait to try what you said...I often microwave my chocolate, I looove melted chocolate, it’s the best...

Tess...I’m so sorry I misunderstood...I understand now, yes thank you Tess, I’m trying so hard to do what there telling me to do...This will definitely be my last time in hospital if I can help it, so I’m trying really hard to learn to re organise me and keep to a routine here, so I can get home soon...the biggest problem with me is my distrust of strangers and not being able to talk to them...it took me over a week here until I could talk comfortable with some people here..My mind constantly tell me to run..flight..when a stranger looks at me as he/she approaches me..pathetic I know...I need to learn to trust...

Awee beautiful Deebi...I’ll bbl..I’m out of room...definitely bbl, 💜.. tonight..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Dear Beautiful Deebi, 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...and Everyone..👋🙋🏻‍♀️ Waves..

Thank you Deebi, for hoopla hooping for me.. 💃🏻....You made me smile 😁..you’re gorgeous..did you know that?...Thank you Deebi, but what am I going to put in my journal today...That’s one I need to think about.....”I’m trying my hardest to learn” maybe?..

Yes theirs only the a RN and a flourish worker and a couple of social workers here through the week day..it’s the job of flourish to rehabilitate us..more then the RN..even though the nurses are very caring and kind I find them bossy and bossy people frighten me, makes me want to run...but I’m fighting the flight response daily and I’m still here...mainly thanks to you wonderful people encouraging me..and me not wanting to let you all down...

That’s true, being here is not being alone at Christmas...so that’s a plus I guess..then 2 more weeks then home... I hope so....😢😢😢..

Flourish have access to the NDIS..they are trying to get me someone to come out once a week, for two hours to talk to me and walk with me...check them out on google Deebi...I haven’t but I’m sure they would be there...

Your mum was a very smart and beautiful woman Deebi, I know that because you are.........and she is right about being under the weather....., I like light bright rooms, sunshine, ....but I also love dark rainy ☔️ days...as well..

Fruit mince pies..hmmm yeah..yummy...Awe Deebi, it’s okay sweety if our baby furs ate a chocolate....I don’t mind....Destiny and Eternity...are so cute..I know how much you love them and play with them....

I’m trying Deebi, and that’s all I ever ask off me and anyone..Thank you for saying Grandy is winning and Beasty is loosing....I love beasties prize..💣..ouchy when it chews it 😂🤣😅..

Thank you for you Love and care beautiful lady.....thank you all..🌜💜👼🦄🌹🕊🌱🌛🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛

L🌹VE. Y🕊U..Deebi.....Peace 🕊 everyday is a new beginning 🌱...for the day...and us....good days tomorrow..Deebi and all...

Love and hugs..🤗🤗💜💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[demonblaster]

It'd be so hard fighting flight you're surfacing tremendous strength lovey good for you. Yip being bossed isnt good. There's a way to speak without bossing as such with respect. Glad theyre kind and caring.

I'm extremely drained sweet so I'll quickly note flourish and hit the hay

Yip thats the way to be thinking about time I use to do that working when I was wiped out it helped put a different spin on it and easier to get through.

Sleep well Grandy ☺💑💜🕊👀🍫