Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

i would want to go home too. I don’t blame you one bit, I am sure they are are just concerned for your well being but it all sounds a bit too bossy for me. All I can advise is play their game, eat the meals, go for the walks and sessions , say how much better you feel and get out . This is probably not the advice I am supposed to give.

Thinking of you

tess

[demonblaster]

Ohhh darlin Grandy 🤗
Awful seeing you struggling so hard. Honey I know you're completely out of your usual routine and its stirring you up and making you feel out of sorts vulnerable and unsettled. I really am sorry you're doing it so hard. Honey cry as much as you need let it all out sweety thats pain leaving you. Here's a nice lavender hanky with gorgeous shades of Purple embroidery. You dear darling I wish I could be there with you 🤝 and 🤗 you for real, sweety imagine I am with all your beautiful friends we're holding you up, lean on us darlin.

I want to see you eating better, I know lovey it's different but its important you need the energy and nourishment to counteract beasty. Love you so much and you're hurting 😢💜

Please don't go home hun, as awful hard and painful this is, its to help you and you dont want to be forced. I/we believe in you and you'll look back on this and will have gotten through.

I'm sorry Grandy about mindspot thats a shame. Maybe where you are they'll help you with what they would have and you might have picked up some coping skills.

Oh Grandy 🤗 please try to be gentle with yourself and believe because you can and are capable to handle this, you've got this far honey you really can do it I know you can.

Think of our beautiful times together and the security in our loving friendship and how many people here care and love you as you do us.

How bout going through the alphabet and for each letter think of anything you like, can be food a memory music wind chimes flute, hear the sounds breathe honey. Nature 🌱🍃🌴⚘

👼🦄✨🤹‍♀️🎲🤸‍♀️🎄🛵🚜🌈
Sweety you can do this.

Love and care so much for you please believe in yourself. Always with you

🌜💑💜🤝🌹🌛

PUBAOK 💗👀👄

[startingnew]

Hi Grandy

i would want to come home too, its so tough being cooped up in hospital. They are doing their best to look after you, perhaps if you are up for it when you start to get overwhelmed or abit more emotional have a chat to the nurses, they are there to support you during your time there too, i found it easier to talk to the nurses as they were down to earth and not so 'professional' like the drs and psychiatrists are.

I know you would be missing your furbabues so much, do you think mayve someone could bring them to you evne for half an hr so you could go outside with them or bring you some pictures of your furbabies? it might be a little better for you as a home reminder as well.

Hugs and much love

xoxoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Tess, Little Butterfly, and all.

Thank you all for your kind words....

Tess...I tried to fake being well but unfortunately I can’t do it...they can see through me...I put on a smile and walked into my psychiatrists office today determined to look better. Within a few minutes my mask fell off..I’m not good at fibbing...

Starts.....Thank you. I have spoken to a couple of nurses....as well as their are so many mental health workers and social workers here all day they do all the groups..I speak to them easier then anyone else, they have helped me a lot since I’ve met them....

Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.....I’m listening to you very closely...I’m putting my trust in your words...I’ll not run away...I promise you..I’ll see this through..Love you very much Deebi..💜🤗..

It’s so very hard..hurts so deep....I’m really trying very hard..I was good today. I was first out for breakfast the nurse saw me and she came up to me and said she was proud of me..Every night before we eat, we go around the table and all have to say two things we are grateful for...I couldn’t the first week, but I’m doing it now...Tomorrow I will try to go on the morning walk...it’s a half hour walk..Again I see my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon it’s so full on....I’m exhausted and tired at the same time....

I was in a really bad way yesterday and this morning, I wasn’t expecting another 1-2 weeks added on to the original 3 weeks. I was in shock....and I just crashed as soon as I got back to my room...still so very down about this......oops tears are coming again...

Please all sleep well and peaceful dreams...tomorrow I’m wishing will be a lot better for you all and me as well...

Big Love and hugs 💜💜🤗🤗..Everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[demonblaster]

Grandy and other darlings

You're SO strong but you don't know it, so very pleased and proud of you that you're staying and good girl first out for breaky your dear body needs the energy.

And going for the walk in the morning you little champ excellent, you hopefully will enjoy it and being a change of scenery and fresh air out of the place should be good hun. Breathe in the fresh air, relax on exhale ☺ Have a good look around you, listen for different sounds look at colours sweetheart. Good on you ✊

Nice hearing there's people youre finding it easier to talk to. Really happy about that it's what you need.

Yes a shock for you having extra time 🤗 I'm so sorry you're so upset and having such a hard time honey, it wont be this way all the time and in time after this you'll hopefully be so much in a better place mentally.

Hows your heart honey?

It's no wonder you're so tried lovey emotional pain wipes us out.

Good luck with the new meds too, sorry I forgot to say.

Ok beautiful hope tomorrows easier for you too Grandy and that you sleep well tonight

So much love darl ☺🤗😚

💑💜💗👀🤝

[Lee lee 73]

Hello beautiful Grandy,

I'm sitting with you lovely lady ❤🤗 - giving you a big bear hug. So glad to hear you have been able to talk to the nurses....and that you are willing to still see it through. You are amazing Grandy, so proud of you.

You have achieved so much. A month you wouldn't even have dreamed of sitting/eating dinner around a table of strangers let alone saying what you're grateful for . That's truly amazing Grandy. They only those rules in place because they have your best interests at heart and it would defeat the purpose of you being in there - if they didn't . I know you know this. Grandy, just quietly notice the difference in your mh when you do eat - 😉😉 😍. ...and.. before and after. ..

[Lee lee 73]

... ooooppssss - my finger slipped. ..again. .

Anyways lovely - so so proud of you.

I'm sitting with you until you fall asleep ❤❤🤗🤗😍. Love and care always

Lee

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Lee, and Everyone,

Thank you both for sitting with me and being here for me...it means so much...

Lee..your so right I couldn’t have done what I’m doing now a month ago...If I can’t think of anything to be grateful for I am always grateful that I’m breathing and have been gifted another day.... Your doing it hard Lee and you’ve come into mine and given me beautiful supportive and encouraging words, thank you so very much....💜💜🤗🤗..

Deebi...I’m sorry this morning no, I couldn’t go for a walk, I was 😢 this morning, maybe tonight I will go, I really need a chocolate or something nice to eat, there’s a snack machine at the hospital entrance I might stop there to get something yummy....at least the snack machine is an incentive to go on the walk...

I want so much to go home....The psychiatrist here is okay, he does seem to listen and I think he understands me...he is getting me something to keep my hands busy to stop me from picking at the skin on my arms when I’m anxious....He said to me that I need to find out who I am, start caring for me. Start to stop being an automatic people pleaser....My home work is a positive journal. Positives about me?...He said when I talk about me it’s all negative because that’s what I have been made to believe and he said that I don’t even know that I’m talking negatives....

Its so hard to be here, and all I want is to be home..An extra week, maybe two it hurts really deep..I’m trying hard to do the groups..I’m fidgety in groups, I can’t keep still, I can’t concerntrate, I can’t answer questions out loud when asked..The weekend tomorrow so no groups for 2 days...a lot have weekends passes. I don’t..

To be honest, the coping strategies they use here..are the same that are talked about on the many different threads here... it’s what works for you as an individual..We need to try different techniques to find some that works for us/you/me...

I need to go now.. Dinner is ready..it’s home made pizza made by the patients and nurses..yummy..

I hope everyone’s day was okay, and you all have a Lovely night tonight...

PUBAOK...Dearest Deebi..Love you so very much..🕊🌱👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄💜🤗🦋💼🥜🎄...

Love and hugs...💜💜🤗🤗...Deebi, Lee and all who are reading.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼.....🕊🌱..

[demonblaster]

You are so welcome sweety lady thank you ☺ Hi lovelies 🖐

That's ok honey you didn't walk today. I find a big blocker in poor MH is when we feel we have to do something it adds pressure to our minds that are in a state of low energy and pain. What I'm seeing in you is that you want to which is one of your best tools. If you can think of reasons why it'd be a good thing.

Darling do what they suggest I'm still in nappies when it comes to this.

This could help with positives to think of

1. Stars
2. Trees
3. Birdies tweeties
4. Poems
5. Love & people here
6. Our fun times
7. Cheese and tomatoe grilled with LOTS 😁of pepper
8. Coffee Frappe
9. Wind chimes
10. Flute sounds
11. Sunsets over the mountains
12. Leo Rojas
13. Baking cakes
14. Trying to make this gremlin infested tablet turn numbers off no wait up thats frustration

Was thinking (ha gremlins I won) Monday will be your 3rd week I think or start of 2nd (sorry fried brain) you'll be soon half way there. You'll be back home beautiful lady, something to look forward to, and in better shape. Honey please try and believe in this and you. Beasty wants you thinking badly and to counteract it as Sapphire said to do opposite to what depression wants. Solid.

How awesome this psychiatrist gets you and is listening at last the help and support you deserve and need. Major plus and that you can talk to the MH workers social workers nurses, you don't have that at home. I think best to go for it babe because time as we know keeps moving.

My psych said same she asked 3 things I like about myself and then a 4th and said say it to the mirror its proven to help. Darl how bout do it in a mindful way by looking at you from outside in as if you were observing Grandy from someone elses view.

God knows there's an encyclopia I /we could fill.

Yum Pizza chomp on hun. The daily 2 gratitudes neat.

Believe it lady you're going to make it.

Love you big time honey 🤗

🌜💑🎄♨️✨🤝👀💜🌛

😁 lee liking you that bit more dangerously leaving choccy in the open 🤗

Waving back to you sweety Mandy Peps and all ☺🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩.., and Everyone,

Monday is the beginning of week 3...I asked if I could go to the vending machine at the hospital entrance. No I’m not allowed, I’m only allowed inside the boundary of these units...This is so unfair....Some of the others go home for the weekend, or through the day....I’m stuck here, It’s so unfair....

Thank you so much for the list of positives, they will,last me 14 days...oops 13 days ...😂 loving you winning ...Deebi. 1...gremlins..0,,,.😂😂.. 13 being my lucky number, 💜..

I’m being good Deebi, I do w I’m asked to do, without questioning them...I know that I need this help....I’m trying really hard and doing good I think...but I’m so tempted to sneak out to get my chocolate...

Flourish are an organisation that are here for for mh patients..this morning one of them is going to do a care plan for me, so when I get home I have some support from them as well....Not sure what type but I’ll be grateful for any type of support now there’s no psychologist in town....

The pizza was yummy..I had two slices of it, oh and some homemade trifle for desert...Tonight savoury mince and mash....ewe I hate mash...reasons...can’t look much at mash without 😢....I’ll be mindful tonight. Just savoury mince on toast...

I hope everyone’s day is a good day today, please fill it with things you like to do for you, eat something yummy as well...I am not allowed out, so a flourish worker went to the kiosk and bought me a coke and chocolate.....Beautiful lady..I cried out of appreciation for her kindness...
The sky is so dirty here, dust storms have made the sky look a browny colour yesterday and today....I hope where you all are that the sky is a beautiful shade of blue...

Deebi...PUBAOK..special friend..Love you deeply..🌜🌟🌈🌹🕊💜💼🦋🥜🎄🚜🐘🛵🛴🌛....Thinking of you ....

love and hugs, everyone..💜💜🤗🤗

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..