Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, and everyone else..


Deebi, what an amazingly wonderful warm post thank you very much, it helped me feel some love and care..Which I so very much need.....I could imagine the time you spent on doing it and I'm really so very appreciative of you, your time and your beautiful soul and words...💜🌹🕊...Deebi, you have my deepest love and my greatest respect...Thank you.🕊💜🌹👼🦄..


Deebi, I understand you so very much, please don't concern yourself with how little or how much you post just concentrate on you getting well....pweease 😚...I appreciate you for who you are..that goes for everyone here, readers as well as posters...you are all very special people I hold close to me...


Grandy..

[demonblaster]

What a beautiful post as always from you too and a deep thank you. Truth..ditto "you have my deepest love and my greatest respect. Pwoomise (love cute talk) Seriously you too Grandy ☺💜

Hope you're holding up there sweets, remember we're in this together 🤝 and Learning. I still rave always will about bb, never heard anything but good, look out anyone who downs it 😤and reading threads from the amazing peoples experiences and Learnings unreal. Yes hun we are going to get through and help others like we do, you more than me atm but in time I hope to post more to newbies again but cement head first 😆 , Yes in good times I can do the odd one to get my confidence back and help. Got a couple of fundraising ideas too. 🎵got a lotta lotta work to do🎶 here when beasty gets the flick and IT👍 ,aint seen nothin yet, my minds between half and 3 quarters made up. Gettin there. It slows us but we're stronger Grandy 🤗 we all are

Agree here attracts the most lovely people doing the hard yards and helping others. Always so grateful to behind the scenes too who make this an incredible place to be. 🤗💗 Respect ⚘🕊

Deep growing 💑 friendship. 💜🦄🕊

Hope you sleep well sweets 😚🌈

🐉

🔥

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Grandy (and a wave to all),

I’m just visiting to give you some company 🙂 I’m leaving a breakfast treat for you. Fresh blueberry pancakes with vanilla ice-cream and some warm tea.

Now. I know you’re struggling very much but I also understand that maybe you’re not wanting to talk about things right now. That is 100% okay of course. You don’t have to bring up anything that you don’t want to talk about and we won’t pry...as I said, I’m just visiting to say hello.

Also, thank you so much for your absolutely beautiful and heartfelt posts on my thread. Even though I’ve been terrible at individual replies lately, I really do mean it when I say that I appreciate you all ❤️

Your latest post was wonderful. I was touched because you were trying to listen and you did it beautifully. Thank you dear and clever Grandy. You’re always most welcome on my thread. Any time.

Thank you to you too DB (forgot to mention it on your thread). You’re so appreciated as well. Thank you for being there for me and sending your love. It means a lot.

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Guest8901]

Dearest Grandy,

You have not been posting here much lately. I know you have a really difficult week this week, so thought I would pop in and say hi. Happy to sit with you and let you talk if you wish, or just sit in companionable silence. I've not been too talkative myself lately, so it may do me good to open up a bit too. We could be here for each other?

Work for you tomorrow I guess. And is the new arrangement already in place where you have to check in with your job provider several times a week? That seems most peculiar. Was today a darts day, or is it only fortnightly?

Are you all set for your drive to the larger town on Thursday for your scans? Car all fueled up, fur babies all organised for their alone time at home? Are your dogs okay left on their own? Charli is very good, does not suffer from separation anxiety or anything like that. If I have to go out for the day, she just sits on the bed and watches out the window where she will see me drive back in when I get home. She is very happy just to sleep, doesnt bark, is not at all destructive and manages to hold on for a toilet break until I get home. I just give her a little treat as I'm leaving and she's fine. I'm guessing your place does not have a doggie door as you mentioned having to get up to let them outside in the mornings. Same here, no doggie door. So for us its a late night out just before bed and then up first thing to let her out again. Although if its too cold, or wet, she holds on for ages and just refuses to go out. Funny little thing she is.

I havent been around much lately, and wanted you to know I'm still around and I still care very very much for you. I am supporting you from afar, as best I can.

Giving you a warm, caring, loving, all-embracing hug. 🤗 ❤️ Same for DeeBee, Pepper and Birdy. 🤗 ❤️

Amanda 💜

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy Amanda, and all.

Thank you all for your kind and caring words..

I never went to darts today, I couldn't get outside, I haven't been out since last Tuesday, I feel safer inside my home.

Tomorrow..I have to report before work to my job supplier..

I also have an appointment with my mhn she wants to keep an eye on me because I am meds free..Straight after her I have an appointment with hmmm my psychologist..sigh..I don't trust her anymore, after what she done to me....I just don't know....I want to run away from all of this..😥..Once again my life is being controlled by others....I'm obviously no good at it...and people can see this and just take over me...

I really hope that you all are doing better then yesterday and light is shining for you..

Love and hugs..💜🤗...

Grandy......

...

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Grandy (and a wave to all),

I just want to sit by your side and offer some gentle and peaceful company. No need to talk, explain or do anything...I just want to spend some time with you, a cherised friend of mine 🙂

I feel for you that you’re feeling so controlled by others. I don’t think this reflects on you though...if anything, I feel it goes back to the whole “conditioning” thing and how perhaps certain people can pick up on your conditioning, which they then use for their own purpose...I’m so sorry this is happening...

I am here holding your hand and sending love and caring your way. I hope you feel the warmth. I’m delivering cinnamon scrolls and warm tea for breakfast today. I hope you like it 🙂

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[chrissy1]

Hello Karen,

im so sorry ur struggling, I know how u feel, I’m not much better. Hope appt goes okay. Honestly what is there to get up for I’m so fed up, it just does not get better. I’m here for u any time ok.

Take care ❤️

chrissy1

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy

Lying awake here at 2.30am, and cannot help thinking of you.

I know yesterday was a difficult and very full day for you, between job provider, work, MH nurse and psychologist. Just really hoping you came through it all okay.

So sorry you do not feel in control of your own life. Perhaps this is something you can discuss with the psych? I do agree with Peppers take on the issue, re conditioning.

I shall leave you in peace now, and hope you are sleeping or at least resting. Just want you to know I am thinking of you, and that I am nearby.

Sending love and care.

Amanda 💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Mandy, Deebi, Chrissy, Peppy.. and all..

Thank you for your post early morning Mandy. I was awake when you posted...

I had an appointment with my mhn at 12.30 and my psych at 1.00pm...My psych rings me at 9.30am and reminds me of my appt nwith her at 12.30.. I told her our appt is 1pm..she said no it's 12.30.I said I have your appt card here, you wrote 1pm. . ..Se said no.... it's 12.30.... I told her....I will ring up my mhn and re appoint for later today.....she said okay......About 1/2hour later psych rings me up and cancel her appointment with her, she said.....you go to mhn today . I'll ring you back and re appoint another day.....She done this on purpose she has access to all my records and appointment with who and when...she knew I had an appointment with my mhn at 12.30....I know she done this on purpose she knew.....She cancelled again.....She said I doubled booked the same time....I didn't I have her appt card it says 1pm.....I'm looking at it now.....What ever I said to my psych to do this to me..Idk...

[demonblaster]

Hi sweet

Ahh darl you don't need that 🤗 Was hard enough for you preparing for the day and when it came that you were dreading some of it didn't happen after all. Hope at least MHN went ok. You're in such need with little choice where you are which is rough and her in those circumstances hymm.

I feel you know what's what (truth), I hope you don't think I'm doubting you cause this might sound that way but is that the most recent appointment card. Reason I'm wondering is I recently read a previous unrelated to yours then realized phew relief later.

I so hope in the future you'll get the help you need hun

I know you'd be feeling pretty average about that, how are you otherwise. Not pressure and I do mean that, miss you when you're not around but ok cause, I know you need time to work things out.

Hoping you have some comfort in knowing you're very loved from moi 💜💑 and so many others here love and care deeply for you. 🤝

Be ok dear friend always 💗

🌲