Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and everyone 🙂 

Dagh cant get emojis working on this. 

Huns I read this yesterday and tried today to post but several distractions.

I'll be back hoping tomoz lovey 💓 

Hope you're getting some quality sleep geez it makes a big difference to our well both really aye our mh and physical too.

Always much love and care and many thoughts lovely one.

See u soon honey. Its weird not tapping the smiley's lol. Probs a dew that are happy bout that lol

Cya soon huns Tc 🙂 😘 9h cool there's a couple.

[demonblaster]

Grandy in case it turns up which I doubt very much the post I’ve been working on for ages has not only not authenticated but disappeared 😖

I know what I want to say AGAIN!!! so will be back grrrr. 

Love and thoughts as always beautiful one ☝️ 

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

There are problems with BB forums notifications which is probably why you are not getting emails.  The notifications page is also not being updated when someone posts so for now we will have to check each thread that we are following individually to see if someone has posted.  The only part that is working is if someone clicks on the support button, that is showing up on the notifications page.  It is frustrating, but Mod Support are working on it.  I know I keep missing seeing posts.

Lass if the anti inflammation meds helped even just a little bit, I think it would be worthwhile having a chat to your GP to ask if you can continue taking them, at least until you see your specialist in February.  It is definitely worth trying & hopefully you could see your GP before Xmas & the hotter weather which is tiring in itself.  

I hope you are managing to spend some time on your verandah watching nature.  I have been watching the visitors to my bird bath which has been very popular with the hotter days.  

big 🐻 hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hiya darlin 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Pawsy 🐾 Eagle 🦅 and all

Good Pawsy knew about the emails. ? why my post didn’t go through re the authentication & didn’t auto save. I’m sure as soon as po that’ll be sorted.

It’s hard when people don’t understand our physical or mental problems it can make us feel alone trying to get through. Frustrating too. For many if they’ve experienced similar it’s easier to relate. I know you love her darls and she’d know too.

Yikes the side affects from it being slowed down huns.

I guess Feb can’t come quick enough to know more about this Grandy love. Yes the more you know may be slightly easier on the boys.

It’s the pits being so tired. Hopefully they may be able to help with energy somehow. Sleeping helps but ugh feeling the need for it all the time. Oh darlin 🤗

As Pawsy mentioned as I too had in the cyber post it’d definitely be good to let them know how much better your energy was after the anti inflams. They’d know what dosages you can safely have.

Your consideration for others about not being sad is touching. Darlin can’t not 😢. Like/lovng someone hurts when they’re not travelling well. Emotions are so powerful. Maybe adjustment happens when we’ve worked through them that sounds like you have.

Huns may I ask why you don’t want pity? I feel it’s a large part of support caring and trying to understand.

Ok my sweet rest up darling 🤗
Love you very much hun Always 💭💗🦋🌈🤝🍫🍓😇👀

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone…

I got my emails sorted, some how after they switched of the 3G network in my area, it somehow signed me out of my emails….all fixed now…

Oh Paws, the steroids to deal with my inner inflammation, they work by shutting down our own immune system to let them work properly….days after I stopped them I came down with a horrible and sore rash which I had to go to the hospital for (to much pain)….diagnosis is shingles…omg and it’s so painful, been 8 days today since I got it and thankfully the pain is easing a little….I don’t get a break health wise…

I did my last day at Vinnies on Monday, handed in my keys, will wash and iron my aprons and take them in next year….I am excited to say I have a new volunteer role that I start in February next year, after a good rest….It’s in my local towns hospital’s kiosk…my own hours and days which I’ll sort out with the hospital auxiliary council next year…thinking of doing only day though…

I feel different within myself knowing that I don’t need to go back to that shop anymore, relief I think it is…Betty decided she will stay there…and I’m happy with her, for making her decision…

Very relaxing watching how the birds interact with each other, haven’t been outside for a while, been bit depressed lately…not wanting to go outside..

Deebi….for me pity is someone feeling sad or sorrow for me, not supporting at all just sadness that can bring me/us down….it makes me feel like I’m beneath them, like they have some type of power over me…..hard to explain, but,  pity is not being  there for a person, its about the way they think about and see that person, they don’t see or think about them as a person, instead they see only the illness or the cause for their pity…bit of a trigger for me…..

Support, is different to me, it’s nurturing, compassion, empathy, care, support and just being there when needed, from the people we love and who love us…

I hope everyone is having a good day today, and enjoy Christmas Eve tonight..

Sending my love, care and hugs to you all..🌺♥️🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

Still waiting to hear from the bigger hospital for an appointment with the respiratory unit specialist to do a lung function test…if it’s anything like the wait I had for my shoulders, it probably won’t be until the following year😕..

[demonblaster]

Hey bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 and all 

Sweety I just read your post wow you have some stuff goin on in your neck of the woods. 

Sweety Im about to walk so will be back to reply properly.

Just want to wish a happy Xmas to you my dear friend and the many beautifuls that we know and care very much about here.

VERY good hearing the pains easing. Geez Ive heard a great deal from people saying how incredibly painful it is. Oh darlin and so soon after your horrible  diagnosis and you were crook before that weren't you. What a stinking run darls.

Hey the kiosk sounds fantastic. So proud and happy for you and liven you'll get a bit of rest before that you'll be needing. How exciting hun.

Ok beautifuls love you Grandy hope you're eating and watering too. Mwah 😘😇👩‍🍳💥🤶

[Paw Prints]

Hello Dear Grandy, wave to Deebi,

Oh lass you really can't take a trick at the moment can you.  My mum used to get shingles so I know how horribly painful they are.  I hope the shingles & the pain disappears very soon for you.  

That is lovely news about you being able to work at the kiosk... especially being able to decide what hours/days suit you.  I can understand the relief at knowing you won't be going back to Vinnies... being able to get out of your house & out of your head for a time each week is good for you, but I think you were starting to find the negatives were starting to outweigh the good you got from being there.  

Yes I'm up & awake in the wee hours... so Santa won't be dropping in here tonight... 🦌🦌  I must confess I've been watching the birds through my front window & I haven't used my back verandah since I lost Woofa.  

big hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear Grandy (with a wave to DB and PP and all)~

I was interested and in total agreement with you about being pitied. I can't really explain why but when someone say they pity my circumstances/health/etc I feel somehow diminished and a lesser sort of person.

True we both have a fair number of things wrong, however rahter than pitying oyu I admire you. I take courage from hte way you have handled horrible past relationships, current dilemmas and you health (or lack of it wiht ll that entails). You cope with all of these and like with finishing at the shop you are coming back for more in a new place. 

It is typical of you to ensure everything is clean and ironed and when you can you will return them.

Indomitable is hte description I'd say. You act as an example wihtout even thinking about it.

I hope you and your furry companions are having an excellent Christmas and get to watch the birds living their lives

Croix