Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and all),

I think it’s an excellent goal to try to walk again 🙂 I love your plan. Oh Grandy, I don’t believe you have let anyone down.

Please let me reassure you...you have not let us down. If anything, i (plus others, I bet) feel proud of you for taking this next step forward 🙂

Ultimately when it comes to healing and mental health management, I feel that the “right” pace is to go at your own pace, and not any sooner. I feel you’re ready when you’re ready, and not when the rest of the world tells you to be “ready.” I’m thinking maybe you just weren’t ready to resume walks before...but now you are...now you’re ready...

When you write about your fur babies, your whole tone lifts. I can sense the deep love and affection you have for them 🙂 It’s beautiful...

The empty paddocks sound like such an eerie and sad sight. It must break your caring heart to see that 😞

Your council’s green light to cull kangaroos is...sighs...that’s heart breaking news. Surely, there’s an alternative. Couldn’t they use a tranquilliser on them then relocate them far away from farmers instead, assuming the issue is about the roos eating feed that is meant for their livestock? Sigh...I suppose this costs more...all about the bottom line...

Warm hugs to you...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety hey all ☺

Oh I'm pleased you're sticking with the meds lovey, they're powerful and change our workings for the better mostly so didnt want you playing around esp when you've been so awfully low. How are you going darl?

Glad Joey and Mumma are still doin there thang, yes very sad about culling, agree with our beautiful Pepstar they could tranquilize and relocate be kinder. Pftt we have a long way to go. It's not only about us.

Hoping it's not as chilly yikes that's fresh but it is nice and crisp isn't it when there's snow 60 clicks away and that you got to hear and see the pretty little birdies busily chat chatting while starting their day looking at natures perfection feeling the warmth of the sun permeating throughout your body filling you with light and a sense of purpose and peace. Great sounding grounding routine darl.

As Peps said darlin no way you've let us down. What you have done though is proven to yourself that your strengths there and you're fully capable of overcoming these powerful demons. Never sweetheart doubt your strength and power. You're an inspiration to so many.

Love and appreciate you beyond words my dear friend. Please look after yourself precious soul.

💜💑

🦄👼

💗🌹

🤗😚

🎁ahaaa what's in the box...even if you put on your Xray vision 👓 you won't be able to see. It has the invisible cloak on....

So my 3rd ones on the way aye..😀 love our friendship 😚 on every level 🌹✨

Have a really good day today darlin and everyone, lets make it a gooden 🕊

[demonblaster]

Ohhh those little pairs each had 🌜🌛around them but they must still be 🛫

🌹

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Deebi, Peppy and all.

I was so close to stopping the meds, but I continued because you said you were big concern so I listened Deebi..💜🦄..

Yes very sad about the kangaroos....The mumma and Joey so cute..I feed them, I found out also "Betty" feeds them and she said another person feeds them...they are nearly tame..which is no good, we do the wrong thing because they will approach anyone even the people controlling there numbers...I feel I done wrong..not good..

Only me and another at work today...both out front. Really don't feel to talk about it atm, I'm not happy with me...

Im home now and pleased I am...apart from my bursitis being really ouch, I'm okay... tomorrow will be better, I can stay home and I feel safe at home...

Deebi, Thank you for the mindfullness paragraph, I read that at work today and it stopped the 😢, very much thank you...

Thank you for saying I haven't let you down..I will try again soon. I'm pulling up Deebi..Needing more sleep, yes still occasionally waking up in panick, did this morning at 2am ish..

Love 💜 you as well Deebi...🤔..umm I wonder what's in the pweety liddle 🎁 box...🤔🤔..hmmm invisible cloak...Okay.. hmmm. Maybe I'll sneak into yours tonight and have a peeky looky..😙🙃😁..Your so special to me and I treasure your friendship so very much...

Please you also look after yourself as well honey, ....those little emojis perfectly paired sweetheart...love you and our special friendship and time so much...much around yes, but also there to pull each other up..that's good Deebi, like your soul...

Peppy, 🌹🌹🍀🍀your gentle way of talking always make me feel cared for by you. You are right I have to do this in my own time..but it's taking so long..I get up and I'm going great for a few weeks then, I go down again..I want the roller coaster to end...One day Peppy we will all figure this out, after all beasty, depression is our thoughts....🍀

Yes to relocate would be the ideal solution but the money involved to do this would be to much for the councils to pay out...Its sad..

Thank you both very much for your care and love...it helps me more then you will ever imagine..

Thank you Everyone for your care and kindness..Yous are all wonderful people, I can't say that enough...

Love and hugs..💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼...🕊🕊🕊..

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin and everyone 👋

Good on you Grandy with the meds. I really hope you get some peace from them 🤗

Darl I hear what you're saying with the roos and it is sad. Another way of seeing it is at least this way they're seeing humanity and not just cruelty. Also they may avoid being culled with luck. Poor things. Try not to be hard on yourself Grandy you're being kind and showing them love.

You dear darling do you feel safe at home because no one can hurt you there. Bloody people grr

Darl do you think mhn or Betty might walk with you, can't remember sorry does Betty know just littles I think. Hope you do get into walking for heart health G and MH when you're more comfy with it and to ground you more.

Hope your sleeps better tonight and youre not having the horrid waking.

Love to you beautiful friend 🤗😚💜💑

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely Deebi, Amand other lovelies,

Im hoping that the people accross the road will leave these two alone, I've been dropping food over my front fence and they come and get it...I hear the 🔫 a lot and it frightens me because I am very close to them...They have seen me feeding and watching them so they might leave these two alone....Every morning after I hear the 🔫 of a Night..I'm anxious until I see them. I've grown very attached to them.

Umm Deebi, yes when I'm home and inside yes I feel safe, it's the only time I ever really feel safe is when I'm inside, although I am beginning to feel a little better on the veranda, through the day now...not so much on guard or on look out, on edge kind of thing...😁..

Deebi, I told Betty a little but she also knows what the whole town knows that I had a melt down walking..yep word gets around quickly here...Betty is elderly and needs a hip replacement very soon, poor darling keeps putting it off she's scared of operation. I can't ask her to walk..it's her birthday on Monday..she'll be 78..Love her a lot, she was so kind to me when I had the shop..she used to come and have a coffee with me nearly every second day.....I will get out there one day Deebi..Today no I didn't try to walk...Yesterday well was....let's just say my leg is aching like a migraine because I over used it yesterday at work...(bursitis).

Im fine Deebi, I am hoping you are okay sweetheart....I hope everyone is doing okay and keeping beasty away....

Love and hugs 💜🤗..to all you beautiful people...We will beat this one day....

Love is deep for you Deebi...💜🦄🕊👼🌺...

👩‍❤️‍👩Grandy🦄👼...🕊🕊..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and all),

I really hope the people will leave mumma and Joey alone. Those loud bangs at night sound very frightening and distressing...it’s sad that a more humane option isn’t being used.

Oh Grandy, I don’t think you’ve done anything “wrong.” I know you had good intentions when you were feeding mumma and Joey. You had no idea that your council would allow this...seriously, please don’t start blaming yourself.

You love mumma and Joey dearly. That’s plain enough for anyone to see and feeding them came from a place of affection and nurturing...

Yes, lovely Grandy, I also feel you have to do this at your own pace. Not Peppy’s pace or DB’s pace but at Grandy’s pace 🙂

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Gentle Peppy,

Thank you for also hoping they will leave them alone...Mumma and Joey were here early afternoon, They relax me so much just watching them eat and sun themselves in the sun...If the people who are culling them. looked them in the eyes, how could they do that to them, their eyes are so innocent....

Peppy, thank you for saying you don't think I done anything wrong, but I know I have..😥, they came to my front fence today, I can't not feed them, they are hungry, I can't stand by and see anything being hungry..

Thank you Peppy for all you said, you are very kind and gentle...💜🌹🕊..

Big hugs and Deep love for you lovely Deebi.🌜🦄💜👼🌛

Love and Hugs, 💜🤗...Peppy,

👼Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩🦄🕊..

[demonblaster]

Hiya lovelies 🙂

Grandy That'd be heart breaking hearing the sounds and knowing what's going on. As you said maybe they might leave these ones alone. (( hugs )) Lovely you have some nice pics of them.

Fantastic hearing you're becoming more comfy on the veranda, huge step darlin. Hopefully it won't be too long before the cows get back if Spring/Summer bring on some rain?

I commented on how much an elderly friends improving at tt. She has bursitis in her shoulder and getting considerable relief & more freedom of movement with very light upper body strengthening. Not sure if through Pilates. Being in your hip might be a harder area. Wondering if there's anything along those lines that can help you. Guessing GP/Physio would've discussed methods. Poor darl so was it extra or different movement stirred it. Hope it settles sooner than later.

Poor Betty. When I was going to hydro therapy several people particularly with hips, are over the moon with the results. And recovery is surprisingly quick, within wks feeling the benefits. Majority are in Bettys age bracket

Beautiful Peppy, thankyou for your tact. Surprisingly for me I'm not offended exactly and I know that would never be your intention, good on you for saying btw. I've been thinking on it and certainly don't want to be pressuring. I'm taking this constructively and assuming it might seem I'm being too pushy with Grandy re walking? One of my faults is if I believe in something I can be too full on but tbh I really didn't think I was. I'm trying to help encourage gently and in baby steps to help motivate our beautiful Grandy with walking. Love that you're protecting her and if I have been pushy I sincerely apologise. I read back and please tell me where I'm going wrong, and what the better approach would be. Honestly I'd like to know xx. Grandy sweet please let me know to love.
I'm completely secure with both of your friendships and can learn from this 🙂

I know you're struggling darling friend and know I as you am ALWAYS by your side. (Eternity)

How cute is it that your beewdiful furs and our softy furs all get on so well. Ummm you do realise this is just a temporary visit don't you ((:D )) (big smile & hugs

Love for you just keeps growing Floss. (( L&C )) You too Peppy xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and a wave to all),

Oh Grandy, I think you’re doing your best to be kind to mumma and Joey, and that’s more than enough...

I feel your deep compassion for them is crystal clear. They sound like such gentle, endearing creatures 🙂

Love and care xoxo

lovely DB: I’m so sorry, I don’t feel that I was very clear. I wasn’t referring to anything specific you said. I only used your name purely because your name happens to be on this page. i also referred to myself 😉

Put it this way, if birdy or Mandy (or whoever’s name) was on this page, I would have used theirs too or instead. I was simply trying to illustrate a point that Grandy is her own person with her own sense of agency and therefore her recovery, in my opinion at least, should be at her own pace. The names that I used (i.e. yours and mine) were more for convenience rather than me trying to “hint” at anything.

Sorry again, I didn’t mean anything by it. I should have been clearer. Thank you for asking and for being so lovely and gracious about it. please don’t overthink it...it’s all okay 🙂

Super soul hugs and much love,

Peppy xoxo