Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy,

Just doing my night rounds and, naturally thought of you. Hoping you get some restful sleep.

Love and hugs to you.

Hi also Deebi. Pepper and Lee.

Good night all. 😴

Amanda 💕

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda Lee, and everyone,

Mandy thank you for thinking of me last night...Sleep came late but I slept for a few hours so I'm okay with that..

Lee..Waves 🙋, I hope your day is good..

Deebi...Truth here. I've put on over 12 kilos since I stopped smoking plus those other meds I'm now off...Ill worry about that another day...I have only me here to care about what I look like..As my gp and psychiatrist said..I need to walk, to excersise to shift the weight...🤦‍♀️ but they still don't understand how hard it is for me to do that. I just can't open my door then walk out past my gate...Peppy I understand how much it hurts when we're not heard..they hear our words but don't listen...Deebe, honey please never ever doubt the care , love,compassion that you give me/ others here on BB...even when your down sweetheart your helping....Deebi 💜 U sweet friend..

I hope you all enjoy today. It's looks beautiful here from my bedroom window...I'm okay just not feeling much like being in my own company today...I'm needing some sleep, so today I hope if I 🏃, geez should be facing the other way, run quick enough I might catch the sandman and get some 😴 sleep...

Love and hugs and caring kind thoughts..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi sweety, Hey Mandy and all other lovelies ☺

Ahh darlin you're still doing it hard aren't you. I so hope you managed to turn around 😆 and 🏃‍♀️ catch the sandman poor darling, awful being tired and our emotions go potty.

Ohh darlin how often I've thought about forgetting to talk about your awful nightmares and waking up in anxiety I'm so sorry you've been going through that, I was going to suggest your 12345 breathing but you said you do the meditation before bed. Poor thing that'd be terrible 🤗 Is that still going on. So sowwy lovey 😚

Thank you for your lovely commemts and that absolutely lovely head massage and sand mould was devine. You da bomb 💗

I left a pweddy cutey little 🐜 oop not that one, ahh there tis 🐥 for you too cuddle up to. She'll make you feel secure and safe, you so deserve peace my dear friend.

Love you very much dear friend. Have a nice long restful refreshing sleep. Sweet dreams magic lady 🌜💜💑🌛

Hope todays good for you all 🌹

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

Well done for giving up the ciggies. It's not easy to do....at all.

The weight started dropping off me about 6 weeks after ceasing the medication (that was causing it). Maybe it will do so for you too.

With warm hugs 🤗🤗

Lee

[demonblaster]

Hi sweets post hasn't 🛬yet 😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Lee..

Thank you Lee...I syarted putting weight on with the meds, then I had to stop smoking and piled more on..So a combination of both, moreso snacking I think.....

Deebi....No I didn't yesterday arvo..Layed there a few hours, chatty mind so I got up and done some games on i-pad...Last night I slept okay around 5 hrs..but this morning again woke the same...I can't remember dreaming...Just waking up in a panick, I don't see psychiatrist for another 2 or 3 weeks so I'm going to have a break off the meds and see if it's the meds causing the panick...

Awe I'm glad you enjoyed the massage, writing them helps me calm down and also distracts my mind from the BD (black dog)...

Thank you for my little 🐥.shes cute, I took her to bed and cuddled her, she was nice and warm..I'm pleased you put 🐜 back in your 🛒..that one would probably make me itchy all night.....

I'm fine Deebi....please don't worry....Today is overcast and icy strong winds..No veranda time this morning😢..I think a day in bed again... Just nothing to get up to/for...but I'm okay.....I opened the door to let my dogs out , 😂 they quickly done their toilet then both ran inside and jumped on my bed and curled up...They are sleeping..one against my leg the other on the other pillow....I often wonder if they ever have the BD (black dog). hanging around them...they sleep within minutes of laying down.I wish I knew there secret..

I hope your day today is good Deebi, and anyone else that's reading, please enjoy today the best you can...

Love you as well dearest friend...I really hope that you are starting to feel better....You deserve peace, Sweet lady.....everyone deserves peace...

Big huge squishy hugs 🤗 🤗🤗

Much love, care and hugs 🤗

Grandy...

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely,

If you feel like some company and a chat this evening/tonight, tag me!! Iszy and I are just chillin watching the idiot box. I sincerely mean it Grandy.

Warm hugs 🤗🤗

Lee xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Grandy and all,

Your angelic doggies sure know how to sleep. Talk about being sleep experts...it would be nice if your fur babies told you their secret to falling asleep quickly...

I’m glad you managed to get a little more sleep the other night although waking up in a panic would have been very distressing. I was thinking, could you maybe send an email to your psychiatrist about the panicked feelings?

It’s just an idea that you may or may not find helpful but I just wanted to share it as the panic sounds awful and you don’t see your psychiatrist for another 2-3 weeks. There’s no pressure but I’m just sharing a gentle suggestion...

Your bed sounds like a safe haven for you. Warm and inviting. I love my bed too...

Sighs, yes, it does hurt to feel heard but not listened to. Thank you for understanding and for your deep compassion. I so loved your Saturday post to me ❤️ You’re our beautiful angel...

Give you doggies lots of cuddles from me...

Sending warm hugs...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and all ☺

I'm a bit actually lot concerned about you going off the meds hun, certainly understand why though. Do you think it might be better to ask your nice MHN, she might know if that could have something to do with it. Are you still waking that way? I had a couple recently similar (maybe sleep apnoea, stopping breathing) but not as intense as yours poor darling. Awful waking to fright. If you can try to get straight onto steady calming breathing hoping it will settle you quicker 🌹

☺ amazing how your cutey furs sleep so easily. So glad you have them. Sounded beautiful one against your leg and on the pillow. They're special little loves Grandy.

Hope todays easier for you and you managed some good sleep sweety friend.

Wondering about your walking darl I do feel for you it being so hard 🤗 How do you feel about maybe a couple of times a day just go a few steps past the gate do some breathing before during and after then back in. Concentrate on the trees the mountains, the sound of a gentle breeze through the leaves, the birdies chirping in their up beat happy way, the sun gently resting on everything as far as the eye can see. Is joey and Mumma there again. Memories of pleasure seeing the cows in the field. Remember lovey our stars are still there watching and protecting us ✨

Love you sweet Grandy very much 💜💑🕊⚘

Have a good day darlin 🤗 thank you for your friendship 💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Pepper, Lee,

Im going to try to walk again soon..I have been told that I need to walk for my heart health to strengthen it....and my psychiatrist has written down daily walking for one of my goals...I know I am letting my mh team down.... as well as you all and me... and that hurts..

My fur babies, they are cute, Always with me, if I don't sit outside sometimes they wouldn't go outside...They sleep when I sleep, go out when I do, come in when I do..The only thing they don't do that I do is shower..🤣😅😅 as soon as I say come on my little loves bath time, omg they run away and hide..😂🙃😆🐶🐶..

mumma and Joey are still coming accross the road for feeding, I have some really nice photos of them.. Not even 10 months ago when I drove into town, everywhere you looked in the paddocks there were cows, sheep, horses..now when I'm driving I see nothing but empty paddocks with dirt no grass at all. It's really heartbreaking. What's worse is the councils government who ever It is, has once again allowing the culling of kangaroos...This makes me very very sad...

Deebi, I'm so confused over my meds, I never woke in panick before..well I did, but not so much as lately and they are really scarey...I'll try slow deep breathing if it happens again...thank you very much sweetheart.....If I stop the meds my mhn, gp and psychiatrist will not be pleased with me...So I have continued to take them...Can't face them being upset with me...

Love you very much..🌜👩‍❤️‍👩🌛 Beautiful Deebi..

I still have your third present here I'm just adding the final touches to it...#1 was 🦄 💫.....#2 was 🌜🌛.....#3 is ??..

🙃😁🙃..soon sweet friend..

hoping your day is a good day..🌈🌹..

love and hugs...💜💜🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼....🕊🕊🕊🕊..