Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Deebi,

Im sorry it took a while to answer you...There is no way at all possible in this world that I wouldn't reply back to your caring, comassionate, thoughtful and helpful posts..

It didn't take long for my heart to be regulated again, I had to go off new meds for a few days to give the heart meds a good chance to work properly, so new meds again I started the other night...So it here we go again!!

I am sorry if I let you and the others down, I just got down to deep and to self medicate is something that I don't do very often, but I was hurting an unbearable hurt Deebi,Then I forgot my heart meds, I need them at 12 hourly intervals, to keep my heart in a regular rhythm and to keep it at a reasonable beat per minute...I know the consequences of not keeping the med in me constantly. The psych, is thinking I did it deliberatly and asked me that question..but I think more negligent because I drank to much and just didn't remember...I am really sorry.. as I said in an earlier post I will try harder to get beast under control... I hope you or no one else here hates me for doing that....I do me..

Deebi, I really hope you are doing okay, RUOK? Please you have to be...I sense you are struggling a lot and not saying...

Im at a loss at what to say now..I knew what to but my minds clouded over again.. it's like I have no control over my thoughts and can't think...it really is very frustrating..😭..

Please Deebi be okay.🌹🕊..L💜VE Y🦄U, my special friend very much.. Huggly huggle hugs 🤗🤗 Deebi, which I hope you know are long comforting hugs...

Sending my Love 💙 and hugs 🤗to all the wonderful caring people here...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼🕊

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

So glad you were able to call the helpline last night. Did you feel a little relieved after speaking to them? Hope the visit with your mhn went well. Also great to hear the psychiatrist has organised counseling and transport. If only there were more counselors/ psychologist who are prepared to provide skype sessions???? -for in between sessions for you Grandy.

Guess what I saw in my work travels today???- cows on a property with geese walking around their feet. It made me smile and wanted to share it with you. Hope today was ok for you lovely thinking of you and sending you big hugs. 🤗🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤

[Ggrand]

Hello Lee,

I hope your day was okay, I know how much you are also struggling...The helpline I ring did calm me last night...I don't understand why I cannot get on top of this downer this time...

My mhn is really kind, the psychiatrist at the hospital is not my psychiatrist, my psychiatrist flys down from Sydney one a month..so I'm guessing they will both have to discuss the different treatment/ counciling between each other before anything gets started..

Thank you very much for sharing the cows with the geese walking around there feet...you brightened up my day a little. thank you very much...I miss the cows 🐃accross the road, it's deserted around here of farming animals . It's really sad...

Good Night everyone. I hope tomorrow is better then today was...

love and hugs..

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Lee,

I did post you a reply around 9.30ish last night...I'm sorry it seems it's still not landed 🛬..it's very early next Morning. If it's not here later this morning I'll post another reply..prob internet gremlins 🦇 pinched it...

Grandy..

[Lee lee 73]

Good morning Grandy,

Those silly internet gremlins have gotten to your posts too.

Please do not worry lovely - it can be tiring - I just hope you're ok. 🤗🤗.

Lee 😍😍

[Guest8901]

Good morning Grandy. Hello Lee.

Sending a quick message of love and well wishes for the day.

Amanda 💕

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Mandy8,

Thank you. Hope your day is sunny.

Warmest returned wishes

Lee 🌻

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful

Glad you rang the help line.

It's been a long down hun they do take a while to come out of and you poor darling you went so terribly low.

Wishing some light in your day too precious friend

Love you very much darlin 🌜💜🌛💑🕊

Thankyou always for being you 😙🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Deebi....yes terribly low..so scarey and way way to long, I'm really over all this mental health.....I want it all to end...I'm fine so please don't worry.... Love you Deebi...💜🦄👼🌹👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🕊..

trying to sleep now.... waking through the night half way through panic attacks....I can't remember the dreams, but 4 times last night I woke up shaking, sweaty, heart doing summersaults, Its very unusual for me....?

Lee lee...My last night post came through, it's the 6th post above this...I hope today went well for you and you coped okay....🦉..Been thinking of you today..

Mandy..Thank you for sending me love and well wishes...I appreciate them heaps..🌹.

Hugs and caring hugs..💜🤗..

Grandy..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello dearest Grandy,

Hope you got some rest. I see your previous post - thank you.

Grandy, the effects of your dreams sound awful. I hate how our mind plays games. It's not fair. Hope you are able to relax - even if it's just a little.

Know that I'm thinking of you my new friend. You have lifted my spirits Grandy I hope I can do that for you.

Thanks for thinking of me today ☺.

Take care beautiful sending you calming thoughts with hugs 🤗🤗😙💜💕🐦🕊🌻

Lee