Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Thank you for your caring words, I appreciate them a lot. I know that your struggling so much, and you calling in here to offer me support, encouragement and care means a lot to me thank you...

The love and care given to me from everyone here, made a huge difference when I was in hospital...

Love and hugs. xx. 💜🤗..

Grandy....

[Ggrand]

Hello Little Butterfly,

I love it when you sit with me. It really make me feel like your with me and does calm me down a little, I felt so alone and scared in the hospital and you sitting with me was beautiful...Thank you for your care and kindness...

love and hugs...💜🤗..

Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Hello Peppy,

I was so worried about my fur babies..They are my companions and I love them both very much...They have never been locked out of a night...With kangaroos, and they can get defensive, foxes etc running around at night and with very little food for them, my mind went into overdrive and thought the worse...

Peepy, your gentle words makes me feel a little better knowing that it wasn't intensional and my friend opened the back door for them, they had the run of inside and outside. also "Betty"..fed, and watered them for me...

Thank you very much Peppy for coming in and talking to me...your gentleness makes me feel better...

Thank you so much for just being here...

love and hugs 🤗💜..

Grandy..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

How are you today, have you been able to rest? I do hope so.

Thank you for inviting me to your thread. More importantly thank you for your posts on my thread.

Grandy, no one in the outside world has ever expressed the care, compassion understanding to me like you have. I mean this and I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤. You're a beautiful lady and I'm honoured and privileged to be your new friend.

I have read your thread. I reckon bad shit happens to good people. Please believe in yourself and know that you are loved and cared for in return .

I remembered you posted on my thread about being on the social thread. I read your thread on pets. Omg Grandy -- it made me smile and laugh. 😆

I sincerely do hope you are well. Please also only post when you are up to it.

Sending you happy, post hospital healing thoughts and hugs.🤗🤗😘😻🐕💖💕💞

Lee

[startingnew]

Hugs GG, always sitting with you even when im quiet. Remember the lovely virtual tree you shared with me? you can find me fluttering around up there, the grass is lovely, soft and more sweet smelling with lots of flowers of all colours popping up. birds chirping in the trees, and little rabbits hopping around in the grass. come sit up here with me and our wonderful friends here. breathe.. and know that things will be ok even if it doesnt feel like it right now xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Lee, and Chrissy...

Lee lee.......Thank you for your very kind words to me...and for calling in here to chat with us...

I had to work today...Its Tuesday..but I really wasn't emotionally and/or mentally fit to work today.....but I did because I can't cope with anyone ringing me up tomorrow and asking why...I don't want them to know I have been in hospital...

Im so pleased you like the pet thread, please feel free to post any pet or animal stories at any time...I want to thank you for bumping the thread up the other day..I did read some of the posts on their and it did lift me a little...

I hope you have a really deep sleep tonight and some peaceful dreams....xxx and tomorrow is better then today....care deeply for you beautiful lee.....Please be gentle on yourself..

Chrissy...Thank you for calling in and letting me know your here for me...that is so lovely and who you are a beautiful caring friend..who I care for very deeply...

Love and hugs...💜🤗..

Grandy....xx

ps...Deebi, Amanda...I will reply to your posts tomorrow if that's okay... I'm really tired and try to get some sleep when I can..

Love you deeply lovely Deebi...I hope your okay..will drop in yours for a sec if that's okay...

Amanda love you also.. I hope your okay....will call in and see you as well Amanda...

Grandy. xxx

[Guest8901]

Not a problem at all Grandy. Very happy to wait. I must say that I am surprised you got to work today. How brave of you. Well done for getting through. Did you also see your MHN today as well?

Little wonder you are tired. Such an emotional time lately for you, and then going to work today on top of it. I hope you fall into a long and exhausted sleep tonight, and wake feeling refreshed and lighter in mood. Do you think the new meds are having any affect yet?

I love you too Grandy.

Hugs

Amanda xx

[Ggrand]

Hi Mandy...

Yes I saw my mhn today, she is very nice...

I had no choice but to work today...if I didnt report to them this morning then go to work she said I will loose my Newstart payments...I missed to many days already..my job provider is not a nice person...She talks loud and her tone makes me feel very small. I prefered to work today so I don't have to face her.....I can't stand up for me...I really don't like me for that...I'm weak and just the thought of saying no to someone or going against someones wishes makes me want to run a way..I just cant do it...

I started the new meds last night...Inreallybdidnt want any more ADs but my psychiatrist said that I need them as I've been having S/I frequently especially when I've gone down by a trigger... I'll try this lot..then I'll see.

Good Night Sweet Amanda, good night all the other lovlies here..

Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Dearest Amanda,

I cannot thank you enough for your kind caring compassionate and helpful posts that you were sending to me when I was in hospital..your kindness and just knowing you were around helped me so much...

The nurses at the hospital treated me kindly, and looked after me, .it doesn't feel right and hard to accept that I'm worthy of some one making and bringing me a cup of tea..

The psychiatrist was nice as well he understands the way I feel, the amount of fear I have in everyday living, about not being able to care for myself, not knowing who I am, not knowing how to live a normal life and being completely lost and confused most days, not being able to have a routine...He said these are extremely common with people who have survived living so long with narcissistic and abusive people...because I have always lived for others and never myself, therefore I do not know how to cope properly on my own...He wants me to go to a councilor in the major town once a month..He knows of my fear of going out and will try to arrange patient transport from the smaller hospital..I will give this a try...I know I need help because I feel like I'm going backwards at times..

My mhn is coming today and again on Friday..I had to ring a helpline last night and the helpline I ring has access to my med files and puts the call details onto them...then my mhn was informed by them this morning and is calling in later today...

I really hope you are doing okay Mandy and your back is beginning to heal...Its sounds like excruciating pain that you have been in, and I'm really sorry that you have to go through it...

Love and hugs..

Grandy..

[Guest8901]

My dear Grandy. So good to hear from you. It sounds like last night was a difficult one for you, but good on you for phoning the helpline. It sounds like it helped you.

Oh Grandy ... you are soooo very worthy of help! Its cruel and unfair that you have been made to feel that you're not, all your life through the mistreatment of others. Please accept help as and when its offered.

Your MHN sounds like a good caring and efficient woman. I am so very pleased to know that she 'has your back', so to speak.

Your psychiatrist also sounds like he has finally 'got it' and is willing to go out of his way to ensure you receive appropriate care and therapy. What a fantastic idea that they have organised patient transport from your local town. That must be a big relief to know you wont need to drive all that way yourself each month. And a thoroughly 'good riddance' to that other so-called psychologist you had been seeing locally. Things are finally falling into place for you Grandy. Soon you will be feeling so much better.

I am going okay Grandy, slowly responding to everyone's posts to my thread from the past week. Posts I could not do at the time. I am very limited in what I can do from my smart phone, and havent been up to doing much on the PC. Either unable to get out of bed, or unable to sit at the computer for any length of time. I still have a few other responses to do, but they have to wait so as not to do consecutive posts. I will get there though. You are one of the ones I am yet to reply to. I thank you so much for all the support you have provided to me too Grandy. You are one very brave, kind-hearted and special person.

Amanda