So good to hear from you, but sorry you've not left the house since Thurs. I understand that, but also know its not ideal. We all need to work on getting out of the house. It's something my psych touched on today. She asked me, are you feeling house-bound? I told her the only time I get out is when I have to, such as medical appointments .. lots of those lately. So yes, I do feel a little housebound. But I feel more comfortable at home, and given a choice, I'd remain there. She went through all the (perfectly good and logical) reasons why thats not good for us. I expect you've heard all that before too?
I know exactly what you mean about your husband. I love mine too, but it doesn't mean I LIKE him or the things he says/does. The anniversary of his death will be a really hard time for you. Another reason why it'd be good to try to get out and do things. Not stay closeted up at home, and allowing your thoughts to get the better of you. Now is when you will benefit by distracting your mind and thoughts. Doing something physical is good. How long since you last went for a walk? Rug up against the cold and take your doggies for a walk - they deserve it and so do you.
Your brother's trip to Cairns is disappointing since he cancelled a visit to you last week. I guess it came down to not being able to do both, so Cairns won out. He knows you'll still be around when he returns, and another opportunity to visit you arises. Its also possible the decision was made by his friend, and your brother had little say in the matter?
I too like cinnamon, and love the old fashioned 'tea cake' which has cinnamon through it. Perhaps you could bake another cake? If you cant use it all, then freeze it for next time you manage to get to darts.
I like Pepper's idea of focusing purely on getting to your psychiatrist appointment, making it your priority. Don't take on too much right now, it scrambles our mind! This is something I've found myself lately - taking on too much just doesnt work. It goes back to the old but still sound advice of "baby steps". Taking too much on board, you can fall flat and feel a failure. Take on one issue (your psych apt) and focus on that ... get that one thing right. The result will likely mean you'll be put on better/more effective medication which will benefit you in the long term. Then, and only then, you can start to tackle other 'projects' and concerns. Every small step is still significant Grandy, and needs to be celebrated.
Amanda 💜 🤗
