Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Birdy77]

Dear Grandy ❤

You are loved.

🌻birdy

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful Grandy (and a wave to all),

I feel your feelings of sadness, hurt and rejection. Your psych has (once again) hurt you deeply...

I feel cancelling again with no valid reason is bad enough, let alone then trying to manipulate you into thinking it was your error. Very unkind and unprofessional on her part.

I feel Mandy has raised a good point about how this particular psych might be causing you more harm than good, considering her tendency to blame, be unreliable, guilt trip you, etc...I agree with everyone else that her actions reflect on her own issues rather than on you.

Sigh, I know you’re hurting. I’m just going to sit here and hold your hand. You may be hurting but you’re not alone.

Love and care plus many warm hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy,

Sorry you are doing some parts of life tough at the moment.

I hope you are able to focus on something that is okay for you right now. It isn't always easy to find, but it is there.

The sad days, the hurt and the pain, they do go away eventually! Not much help for right now, just hoping you are able to see some light in the darkness Grandy!

Hugs to you rom Dools

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy darling a cherished friend to so many 🤗

You know how well you've been doing, huge strides. When I met you going out your door you poor darling was near impossible and you've been when up to it going to darts let alone by yourself regardless of snooties. 👍Tell me that doesn't take courage and strength. You went against beasties wishes to go to the cuppa. You blow me away Grandy constantly. You've researched and taught me and no doubt umpteen others SO much. You're willing to try anything with your tremendous pain you continue to walk forward. You've opened up more here and support numerous people amidst your deep pain. You're a legend and loved because of your love and pure heart. You don't deserve this continuing pain. Tell beasty that. You can be and are stronger than your pain.

Grandy I worry what you're doing at home by yourself. Think about you being so sad crying in deep pain, wonder if you got up if you're eating. Please Grandy pull up 🐉 Deendy, squeeze his tail and use his 🔥 it's yours. Keep in mind hun when your body finally gives in to sleep assuming you're not getting enough you'll have more strength. That's ahead. Use the negative energy to stoke your fire, it's still there hun. Come on let us help you 🤝 stand back up.. nice and slowly in your own time and remember one little crack of light grows.

It's a magnificent day here. I find it amazing how the sun so gently rests on everything in it's vast reach. So much peace 🕊 in that and light that it generates. Would you like to come outside with me 🤝 and together breathe it in.

Will always love you Grandy 💜💑

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi and everyone...


Thank you for your post Deebi, and everyone...


I'm tired Deebi.....I try hard, I get on top, only to be knocked down again..It's exhausting, I don't think I've even had a week of being normal..it's a constant struggle....Sometimes I want to give up...Sometimes I want to fight with all I've got....Sometimes I just don't care....I was supposed to go to the hospital in the bigger town today for X-rays and tests...I couldn't go....


Deebi, I don't want you or anyone to worry about me....Please....I'm fine.. Your struggling I just read on yours......,most of you other lovely people are also struggling, please take good care of yourselves...

Grandy....

[demonblaster]

I know and itbhurts ,doesn't it.

Guess we've gotta keep going and as you say each days new.

I love you too 💗

[Ggrand]

Yes..

[Ggrand]

Hello,

I can't sleep, is anyone around..The nights are long and beasty is so loud...I need to hush it up...

[demonblaster]

Just woke up

Was going to ask if your ok but your not.

[Ggrand]

Okay...i guess not...but that's okay because I love all you wonderful people and want you all to sleep and wake up on the bright side of life.... I have to get these X-rays and scans done..The hospital rang yesterday afternoon after I didn't turn up and rebooked me for today....sigh..in 4.5 hours I gotta be their...means I have to leave here in 3 hours time....I am not a good girl, my hubby told me that so many times..my psych must think the same..she must hates me.. Wow .I am in a lot of pain..my ear, jaw and face bones are really aching so much tonight...Okay I think I will have a bath...oh my neighbour came home yesterday...I think 3 months she has been gone...but she doesn't like me either, because my dogs chased her chickens around once...Okay maybe I will have a long bath, then a cuppa then a long drive to that hospital soon....just wished I slept last night..but I have to go today..special X-ray machine for these X-rays...not available every day...oh wow I talk rubbish tonight..oops this morning but oh beasty is so loud..trying to shush it up can be soo hard sometimes....bbl..