Tears

[Neil_1]

Dear all (or dear anyone who reads this ... no bugga it, dear all ... why should I discriminate against anyone);

This is a simple post.

I want so much to cry.  I need to cry.  But I cannot cry.

Could anyone tell me, "Why can't I cry?"

Neil

[scorpio42]

You can and you will !! Just now it is on the inside ,but believe me the flood will come XXX

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Neil,

I don't have answers to the first two questions. If you find out let me know.

Neil, you probably already know this but I am the same way. Put me behind a keyboard I can type your fingers off. Get me in a physical situation and I shrink so far in myself its difficult to get a word out of me unless I know you well. Even then there situations with people I know well that I can barely  do more than nod. Intellectually I know I should be saying something. I just...can't sometimes.

I know that doesn't solve the problem but have a high five from a fellow socially awkward penguin.

Tell the boxer to stuff it and rest against the ropes for awhile Neil. Let us be your ropes. You don't need to get up until you feel you can. Concentrate on not letting him knock you down further. You may be laying on the mat, world spinning while he stands over you and the countdown plays. Look to the audience. You see that light. That's us. The world may spin, every muscle in your body may hurt and it may feel like to much just to think of gettign up again, but keep your eyes open. Keep your eyes on our light.

GA

P.S: I ead through every word of your post. Like I always do.

P.P.S: Alow me to indulge and borrow from my generation and use text speak in saying this: ❤️

[Neil_1]

GA

Your post hit the spot.  THANK YOU, you reduced me to tears.  Good tears, but you DID it.  So much so, that the fam came rushing to me to see if I was ok.  Don't worry, it's all ok ...

I just get so overwhelmed that people can be so supportive and kind and there's a dozen other words that I could think of right now, but you know what I mean.

It's funny ... I feel sad now (well I always feel sad) but I feel sad now, but in a good way.  Go figure.

Your words resonated so loudly to me where you feel the exact same way with social awkwardness - I think you hit play button with that for me.

Thank you again GA ...

Neil

ps:  I'm sorry, but I"ve got no idea what you're referring to with the the greater than sign in front of the three.  See how tech dinosaur I am ... I can't even find the damn thing on the keyboard!

I do know this one though, 🙂

[iamsotired]

Hi Neil

There have been times when I was so down, I was surprised I was not in tears all the time.

i think that we can move to a depth where there are no tears just the depth.

i find I stay there for a while but what I keep telling myself is, that now I am down here,there  is only one 'real' direction to go. So, I try to relax in the knowledge that sometime soon I will start to come up where I can cry again and with ? I might even reach the level of 'real' contentment for a while.

what I am trying to say is, as bad/ hard as it is hang in there. We are all behind, in front and beside you.

take care fellow traveller 

[geoff]

dear Mares, absolutely not, no way would I ever do this to our friend Neil, it was someone else, not to worry, my mistake,sorry.

If by chance we all did have the opportunity of meeting each other, maybe we could start with us all sitting down and listen to someone from BB speak, just to relax us all.

We would all have our usernames on our jumper, shirt or whatever, and listen to what he/she would have to say, this might relax us all, and then get up and mingle, having a sandwich and a few drinks of whatever. L Geoff. x

[Mares73]

Thanks for your msg Geoff. Neil Neil if we ever meet up you don't have to worry about what to say-that's actually something I would be good at managing, I'd just hug you & tell you to sit quietly and shut up!! Nah but I would love to meet up & it's one thing I wouldn't be nervous about so I can convene if you like? Anyway I'm not here about that, just doing a checking. I'm thinking of you so much. You write beautifully. It's sad but understandable you feel zero self esteem at moment, I feel that too & that leads to feeling like a failure. But you are a all things special & I hope those nasty thoughts go away soon. When is your next appt with anyone re mental health? Pleases if you can remember we are all here for you & I think the world of you  & always check to see if you have posted how you are going. Big hug. X Maresy

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Neil,

Glad I could help. There are so many people in pain on this site, I just want to fix all of you. At once. With a few clicks of my heels or a wave of a wand. Unfortunately the human mind just doesn't work that way.

Hope this post finds you brighter day, or at least not a darker one.

GA

P.S: Turn your head to the right, I find the symbol gets right to the HEART of the matter. ❤️

[Mares73]

Neil r u there?? 

[Neil_1]

Mary, I'm here my friend.

Please speak to me.

[Mares73]

Neil-you are a special, supportive caring friend to me. And we have. A great connection as we do with others. I just wanted to say sorry from bottom of my heart- it wasn't fair of me to reach out to you as you have your own issues. It was simply at the time I noticed we were both posting so I thought you were on the forum Same time as me & we could chat. Now I've had an email about not doing that as you might not be online & you have your own demons. I'm truly sorry-there are days your words get me through. Please remember your special. Lve Mares