So upsetting...

[Albert_247]

My life has been pretty rough, I mean I was bullied all during high school from 13 to 18, I didn't like my father's difference entirely, my diagnosis mis conception happened at 19 and I've been kept on meds for the last 9 years. I'm beneath this image of having a disability when I don't agree with my diagnosis, It's too unique and unbelievable to explain to anyone so I'm treated as indenyl or lacking insight. The health issues were 22 & 25, Then I had no driving independence till 26 because I didn't have any parents to learn with, plus hated all my driving teachers. I only could drive through having Centrelink, I never could advance my life without having any sense for which suitable jobs I would want to work, I never had vacancies with so much immigration and competition with society and with fresh high school kids wanting jobs too. I never wanted to be a apprentice or go to University, even with a interest in Nutrition I'm just not the study personality. I only had help to write the resume & cover letters after going through useless job recruiters but they are not much guarantee to get anyone payed employment. I never had a new group of mateship after leaving high school and I've had no experience with girls as friends or even socially or on a intimate level. I'm complete incel unfortunately with me, but I wouldn't feel like un able to speak to them, unless their really attractive. I had a dream to become a hobbyist musician, though I just had all that with high school, my dad and my mental health drama to deal with, while not having women, work, and a regular life it all ruined my confidence to do it since 14. Don't feel like my parents are on that journey or understanding to chase dreams, they played life more passive and safe and their a whole different personality to me. Now I feel like I'm failing at life or like a ugly man child and everything always felt out of my control, or that thing's couldn't be better given the circumstance.

[therising]

Hi Albert

When our scope of people ranges from knowing/meeting the best in life through to the worst, the toughest part involves knowing/meeting and managing the worst. Your mum absolutely sounds like one of the best, without a doubt. A truly beautiful person.

I think there are always going to be questionable people in this world and I think our questions can be misdirected, toward our self, or we can be asking the wrong questions. We can be questioning 'Why does no one care about me? Why am I not good enough? Why can I not cope with the worst of people? Why am I so sensitive (with sensitivity perceived as a fault)?'. With all of those questions rephrased, 'Why do so many people appear to be careless towards me? Why is no one showing me the best in myself? How can I manage the worst of people and why do they feel compelled to behave in the worst of ways? Why can I sense more easily that others?'. I tell you what, when we're people who can sense really easily (an ability that can feel like a curse at times), the highly insensitive people can test us the most. I cannot help but wonder about them.

[Earth Girl]

I'm a bit confused by what you are saying. Most people aren't vain and superficial. (Not everyone films themself walking down the street and showing how people react to their beauty and put it on Tiktok lol). Also, I don't think anybody only wants the best just for themselves, I see people looking out for each other all the time. Even on this very site, people on here, especially the champion users are looking out for other people and trying to help them.

[Albert_247]

I still am affected from remembering my high school years for those 6 years I was bullied by numerous kids physically and socially and nearly had the chance to expel one kid from the school, but I gave him a second chance because I thought being at our school was a good school to be at compared to other affordable schools, If I had my time again then I would have said for him to go, because 2 years later he put glue in my hair and got me in trouble for swearing at him, a few years after high school because I was desperate for friends and was younger minded I wanted to re kindle with some of my toxic school friend's that I thought could change and mature, they still didn't respect me and would lower me with their opinions and labels, after high school they started working entry payed jobs and would make me feel like rock bottom in my early twenties, I always have a feeling mentally where if I'm thinking of them or if I am talking to my mother that the personality of one of them is coming through me and trying to over speak me and de value my claims or beliefs or intelligence as being wrong, I hate the feeling of people believing you need their approval or having to be insecure about anything because their trying to reflect their feelings onto you. I hate being gentle nature and becoming voiceless to say things back and to over talk my bullies, I wish I could be the equal bully and still go separate ways but just to make them feel powerless against me

[Sophie_M]

Hey Albert_247,

Thank you so much for sharing here today. We are so sorry to hear what you endured throughout those years. You have been through an incredibly tough time and it takes a lot of courage to talk about it. 

We are sure the lovely community here will jump in soon with their own support. In the meantime, if you ever want to talk this through with one of the Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or reach out through Online Chat here.  

Thank you for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Albert_247]

I was born in 1995 just only 2 years from Gen Z as a late Millennial, thankfully, I always looked to the older generations and preferred a lot of their differences, despite not having any bad old fashioned traits, I don't like mainstream music and I hate the praised stars of today and I don't like how the younger generations have more twerp attributes, they can't hold a conversation, they lack warmth and humility and their more mental in anyway, they don't know their genders and sexuality and they try to impose their 21st political beliefs into older hearted people, they also narcissistically try to bash against your religious freedom and views, I miss the clothing from the 2000's and what the 90's seemed and I miss all the entertainment differences from the past and that before the world became sensitive and pissy. The world sort of seemed people had more frugal personality and as time advanced it became more superficial and pretentious. I only like my mother and my brother otherwise I just don't want to co exist with the world, I find even If I was interacting with the older gens they would view me as modern or lazy or as being different, I just hate that initial thinking that your of the times because your young, but your not wanting to be old just to have society associate you with the differences you mostly align with 

[randomxx]

Hi op.

Have noticed a lot of what your saying with my daughters friends , early 20s. Don't know much about gens not into that stuff but you can thank the internet and fb's and chat apps and smart phones , even date sites, for what your saying. l see it all in her friends- even she see's it, she wishes she could go back in time.

Sadly it's all just made things very shallow, instant and throw away mentalities.

rxx

[therising]

Hi Albert_247

I think it can be so challenging when looking back and seeing the best of things while looking at the worst of things in current society. Even more challenging involves looking back to find some of the best has completely disappeared, thanks to a more materialistic world or a world where certain freedoms have been taken to the extreme.

I've found there are pros and cons in any society, from modern society all the way back through hundreds of years. Sometimes I think it's about picking out the pros and adding them to our collection of the things that work for us (the things we love that lead us to evolve), while making better sense of the down side of things. I've found making better sense of the down side doesn't lead me to feel down or so angry. Easier said than done at times, that's for sure. I think if we're sensitive people, we're going to easily sense everything that's a downer or angering so there's no choice but to manage that in some strategic ways. Emotional detachment (sometimes gained through pure observation or pure analysis) can be one of those ways. Technically, we can't feel what we're not emotionally attached to. For example, if I'm purely observing the extremist behaviours regarding the referendum in Australia, I can understand the behaviour as being a part of human nature. With extreme passion comes extreme emotion and if people don't have their emotions in check, extremist behaviour is the result. Extremist behaviour can resemble some form of insanity. How sane is it to have people hurling abuse and threatening physical violence toward those who vote in the 'wrong' way?

I think, as long as we're a part of the human race, we're always going to witness some form of insanity here and there. I like to look at that as 'My version of inner sanity is going to look very different to another person's version of inner sanity. To each other we may appear insane'. With my son born in 2005, what keeps him sane is a record player with vinyls that are mostly jazz and soul related, not caring about keeping up with the trends, not relying on a mobile phone all that much in life, following the dream of becoming a marine biologist, being a creator of art as opposed to a destroyer of people (through bullying) and he basically just vibes as himself without feeling the need to be identified in any particular way. He's an old soul who lives in challenging times, a bit like yourself perhaps. I think there are old souls in every generation throughout history, those who seek to feed/fuel the soul and not the ego. 🙂

[mmMekitty]

Hello Albert

My sense from what you wrote is that you feel you are an outsider, not fitting in.

I think anyone looking at the world, on the whole might easily conclude they don't fit within the general picture. I think that's the problem with generalities. If we go around generalising about people, judging 'good' & 'bad' traits, then we're likely to find too much fault to feel comfortable.

Nostalgia for the 'good old days' can lead us to skew our view towards recalling only what we have a fondness for & what comforts us.

I realise as the years go by, my view changes, my perspective is different to what it was when I was young. I am one who hasn't felt I fit in with peers, but also not with older or younger groups, either.

I realise I might not understand people very well. I don't easily get to know people either. Just because I have difficulties like these is no reason to hate, disparage & automatically reject whole generations of people.

It's uncomfortable to talk to people we don't understand. It's much easier to talk to people who we think are like us.

But why want everyone to be the same? Would it make for a safer & more comfortable world to live in? Perhaps, but also such a world would socially & culturally stagnate.

As for specifics like religion, politics, here in Australia & in many places around the world (but sadly not all, you & I have the privilege & right to choose & decide these things for ourselves.

Gender identity & sexuality are recognised as part of who we are, as much as skin tone & eye colour. People are unsure of what their gender identity & sexuality are, most often because of how society has these built-in expectationss that people are one or the other, within strict boundaries. There is a lot of science underpinning how gender fluidity & fluctuating sexuality is understood.

There may be many people I might not wish to get to know more than I've seen on tele, but who really gets to know anyone by watching tele? What we see of people on tele are often distorted fragments of who these people really are.

So I'm not quite ready to discount everyone, but a few people I know, just yet.

I am trying to maintain an open mind.

Would you like more people in your life?

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[yours_truly]

Hi Albert_247,

Coming from a GenZ individual myself, I think change can be very frustrating too. There is a lot happening in the society, community or even just down the street. However, I think it's best to understand that the change happening is just other people trying to understand themselves and paying attention to things that were left untouched, previously. 

Things may have worked perfectly fine for you before and that is great, however nothing is constant. Maintaining your own beliefs and living life to your desires is the only way to find balance. Not everything is fair, but at the end of the day what really counts is how you feel. Comparing yourself to how older generations, or younger generations feel isn't going to make you feel any better. A big part of the GenZ movement is that we want people to feel comfortable with their individuality, and a big part of being a millennial is that you maintain a mannered and respectful etiquette. When you combine the both you might find yourself somewhere in the middle. Everyone holds different values and personal beliefs, no two people can be the same. Hence, you may not be so different as you think and you would be surprised to learn how many people have common interests!

I hope you find what you are looking for,

Yours_truly

[Albert_247]

Thanks for your response therising, I definitely know there's been medical advances and that's one positive thing about today, I am definitely a older soul wither it's religion, loving blues music or just disliking the whole concept of a inept world living at home behind computers. The world's very much more material and it's upsetting how people become violent over politics or even passionate about anything to do with politics