I am a failure at everything. I don’t know how to do life. I’m almost
40, I’m not married, I haven’t even had a boyfriend since 2004. My
family are super close with each other but not so much me. They all drop
in on each other every day and hang out,...
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I am a failure at everything. I don’t know how to do life. I’m almost
40, I’m not married, I haven’t even had a boyfriend since 2004. My
family are super close with each other but not so much me. They all drop
in on each other every day and hang out, but I’m never invited. I’ve
brought this stuff up before a few times and they make an effort for a
few weeks then just stop again. It’s always me calling them, or visiting
them. I actually decided, I’m not going to call first as of New Year’s
Day, to see what happened. Well it’s the 9th of Feb and I still haven’t
heard from them. I have no friends. My career is going nowhere. In
school I got HD’s yet my bosses have never seen my potential even though
I always give 200%. Whenever I leave and get a new job the new employer
doesn’t see my potential either and offer me a more junior position with
less pay so I’m literally going backwards. I’ve been in therapy since my
late teens, but my situation hasn’t improved. I just don’t know what to
do. I feel as if I’ve missed the boat on the career and a husband and
kids, and I’m so lonely and sad that I feel physical pain. Is this
really the point of life? Just to trudge through one miserable day at a
time? The thing is I’ll never have what I want, it’s now all too late.
at best I’ll be a really old mum with no support network and my kids
wouldn’t be close with their cousins who’d be years ahead of them in age
etc, and I’ll always be junior for my age career wise.there’s this thing
women do where they make you feel so inferior if they’re married/have
kids and you don’t. So I just spend my whole life feeling inferior.
People have taken to saying to my face patronising things like “you’ll
find someone someday” when I didn’t ask, or worse, “if you were going to
be married and have kids you’d have done it by now”, or my personal
favourite, “I’d die if I was still single at your age”. I think I’m a
nice person. Im intelligent, I’m driven, I’m caring and generous, I just
don’t understand why I can’t find a relationship or even friends, or
succeed at work. Who doesn’t have friends?? The only negative is I’m fat
which seems to be a dealbreaker for men. I didn’t used to be but 20
years of comfort eating just to get through the night will do that to
you I guess. What can I do?