New start and new approach to this year

[HamSolo01]

The last time I made a post in these forums was in 2017. Back then I was probably in the darkest moment of my life since I can remember. I thought that I was beyond help and there was no hope for me going forward.

Here I am in 2021 and I have a job (even though I want to leave to something else), been on a couple of dates, travelled, finished my degree and also made some new friends. I guess these days my woes are different. I've spent a lot of time looking into my past and trying to see if I can get an explanation or reveal some home truths about myself and my experiences.

I have spent time in a psych ward, I've been on differing meds, I've spoken to psychologists and psychiatrists. I've spent some time with mental health charities working with them.

These days I want some new challenges and new things in life - it's hard. I have desires to get a new job and to also go back and study again.

Today has been a quiet australia day - I would've liked to have done something social but that's been hard because i have lost some friends, struggled to make new ones, but on balance I have been trying to re establish contact with other friends from the past.

I dunno what I want in life and I have more questions than answers. But I guess I am here still

I will see my psychologist soon for the first session of the year now that I have a new Mental health care plan.

I am trying to do my best and I get the feeling that it isn't enough maybe.

Yesterday I was very depressed. It's a hard time. That's all. 😕

[Quercus]

Hi Mitch (or do you rather use Ham/Hams now?),

Just posting for now to keep your new thread, thanks for sharing it. You've progressed so much since starting out here and it makes sense to start fresh in a new thread.

I like the positive outlook. I said before it even helps me also even reading it. Trying our best is absolutely enough. I feel like I'm constantly picking myself up and trying again. That's ok too.

Talk soon 😊. Nat

[Guest_4643]

Hey Hams.

Best of luck either way.

[HamSolo01]

G'day Tay and Nat

Yes time to "move out" of that other thread I thought.

Thanks Nat for your support as well - it's always good to see yo. It's encouraging to hear you say that you find my messages and positive outlook helpful.

Today:
Had a good sleep overnight meaning I could function well
Had coffee and banana bread before the day's duties
Came home to start up my application for a new job which is now in draft (CV and Cover Letter)
Bought new office chair as this was a reason I was struggling to get anything done - i could barely sit on the old one without getting a sore butt
I contacted the "talent coordinator" at the place i applied to when i asked for feedback two days ago. They provided it and I lost a bit of morale beacuse it sounded like they didn't even read most of my CV or letter. But that's the nature of outsourcing to recruitment companies.
I will now look at contacting some of them
Set a date to supply a draft for a new article on russia with a new mob i write with (can't say much due to anonymity)
Will now watch/listen to some lectures on personality and Carl Jung

Today has been useful. Still more on the way but it's good progress.

[Guest_4643]

Sounds like you've had a busy day, congrats on all of that and best of luck Hams.

[HamSolo01]

Hey all

Thanks also T !

Wanted to leave this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfgAd6iHApE

[ecomama]

Hey Hams

Wow! You've really turned things around in your life, WELL DONE YOU!

Look at the changes! I think you forgot to mention your awesome Sci Fi creations though lol. 😉

You've made some new friends, are attempting to rekindle past friendships, gotten a JOB, looking at future employment opportunities, working through your past with MH support.... hey Hams, that's STACKS!

From where I'm sitting YES you're doing your best, so ofcourse that's enough!

HIGH FIVE brother, you're clearly on the right track!

Love EM

[HamSolo01]

Hey EM

Thanks for that. That's very kind. You know I needed to read that. I think sometimes I forget how far I came. Maybe it's because I set expectations all the time for myself and maybe a result of that is that I forget to see how far I have come already.

While where I am at the moment is not where I want to be, I can see I've come a fair way. It honestly feels like I am playing catch up with myself at times. But I guess in some sense we all are hey?

Thanks again

[ecomama]

Hey Hams lol it was "kind" of me? Gee thanks.

Hey brother YOU DID ALL THE WORK! LOL!

All I did was hold up a mirror to reflect it back to you.

I'm AMAZED that you've gone through all that and are where you are NOW!
But thankyou anyway.

You deserve that kudos for ALL that incredibly hard work you've done.

Do you know all that funky thinking that took you into hospital?
I'm not sure exactly what thinking led you there, but I believe that whipping yourself about 'not being where you want to be' OR 'playing catch up' could be something for the rubbish pile lol.

Where doth this imaginary land of "WhereIshouldBe" be? Who cares really, it's not useful at all.

Goals are one thing.
Steps TOWARDS those goals are pretty helpful too lol.

No time for playing catch up thoughts. No space in your beautiful mind for those.
ZERO time for comparisons my friend. You're FAR too precious for that!

I was around 30, I think, when I found "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey and whilst reading it OMG my career SOARED! So did my whole perspective on my Finances too!
You need this right now.

All these ppl constantly telling me "oh you're a single parent, you CAN'T buy a house or blah blah rubbishy blah".

I did, then did it again and again.
I reserve an certain finger for those ppl in my mind lol!

You are developing yourself in all sectors of your life right now.
You are creating your future in all sectors too.

You are seeing opportunities and going for it. Wow, incredible. How wise getting feedback, yep some ppl are like that.

Not sure if you've seen the work of Brene Brown online?
She has 2 Ted Talks which I love AND a Netflix special I've watched about 30 times lol NO JOKE!

Watch these and you'll understand A LOT more about HOW to move forward and just how courageous you are.

BE in "the arena" and only care about what some people say, the others can go take a leap.

I can feel it my gut you're going to smash this Hams, I really can.

EMxxxx

[Guest_4643]

Hi Hams, EM and others.

Sorry I haven't been around that much (well kind of), I've just been colouring in to fill my time mostly. It relaxes me a little, been using some new colouring books I bought.

How are you all?

[HamSolo01]

Wow Em. Thank you so much aye 🙂 good onya

You know how to build people up so that's very kind of you :)

Hey Tay good to see you too

Today was a nice day. We did a whole heap of cleaning up as there is a clean up in our area so tomorrow the council will be around to clean it up. We are chucking a fair bit of stuff out.
Then I had a chilled arvo playing surviving Mars on pc.
Bought some curry for dinner and it was great. Seriously I think Indian food is my favourite atm.

I finished my mosaic too so that's cool. It looks pretty cool. Can start on the new one soon.

Then I played ufc and fifa on xbox. Wasn't as great as I had thought lol

Off to bed. Catch yous tomorrow.