Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Guest_4643]

Sorry Sleepy..

[ecomama]

Hi Tayla

Our NBN has been down for days, so I haven't been on here for that long.
I got a LOT of housework done inside bec we also had a heatwave from hell.

I read back around 1/2 a page to see what's up.

I see how you're asking the same questions over and over, this doesn't help your sleep on top of your mum being so unwell.

How is your mum?
I hope she mends very quickly!

The mind going over and over again may be called "ruminating".
It's not very mentally healthy for us to do this, although I've most certainly been in the position of doing same.

I've learnt to write questions down in my phone Diary where I put my appointment time, whether it be for my GP, psych, Counsellor, chiro, even family lol!

Then IF I feel like bringing those things up then I do.

BUT if I'm feeling REALLY anxious about a particular thing, then I speak with my Counsellor about it first and if my appt with her is too long away, then I phone a helpline and talk it over with someone on there.

It makes perfect sense that sometimes we get anxious over things that wouldn't bother someone else who doesn't have our levels of anxiety.
Then again SOME ppl play on this, like in Matchy's case where the professional he spoke to barked back at him.

I always think this says more about THEM that it does about you.

I work in a professional setting where clients, their families, their medical and other support ppl, my colleagues AND bosses ask me questions all day long about my work and my decisions lol...
PATIENCE, RESPECT & EMPATHY are virtues that come in very handy.
It's my professional DUTY to answer these questions to the best of ability, taking in to consideration a person's potential level of understanding.

You have EVERY right to ask as many questions as you need or want to Tayla.
These people are supposed to HELPING you.

Lots of love
EM

[Guest_4643]

I know you did, and i appreciate that. I just felt like i did something wrong. Your advice is helping, i just have questions, that's all. I can't use your suggestions until next month when I see them either. But I will. I'm sorry if I upset you. I thought you were saying you didn't want to talk anymore. I'm sorry for misunderstanding and being sensitive and if I upset you. None of that was my intention.

[Guest_1643]

Nothing personal at all Tayla although just didn't feel it was a helpful conversation at the time and needed to focus myself on keeping well. Sorry that was hurtful and really hoping you work it out.

[Guest_4643]

I'm sorry Sleepy, for misunderstanding and whatnot. Not trying to argue with you. It is helping, but as EM said, I just ruminate which I've done even before I joined this, and I have a bad memory so I ask the same questions, and for reassurance. I do this in person too. Even if I have something written down I still forget because I can't concentrate that well and I get distracted. Again I'm sorry, I was just misunderstanding and was worried you didn't want to talk to me. My apologies. Friends?

i'll have a break from BB for a while though so i don't upset anyone, I hope I haven't already, you included

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I hope you are ok and thinking of you and here if you want to talk.

[Jstar49]

Hi Tayla,

I haven't been on for a few days, so was glad to read that your mum is doing ok. Sounds like a really scary time, especially if you couldn't visit. I'm so glad you got to see her. It must be hard for her, being in hospital away from her family.

Hey no wonder you're feeling down, if you've moved. Sounds like a smaller town/area than you're used to. Moves are always hard too, shakes us up. I don't even like shopping in a different supermarket, it just makes it more frustrating when I can't find things. We get used to places and people that we're familiar with.

Anyway, glad to hear that things are a bit better for you.... good on you! You got through it!

Take care,

love to hear more,

Cheers,

Julie

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone. I was going to take a break but its hard for me, and I got kind of bored, thought I'd come back.

Sleepy - I'm sorry about the other night, yesterday, whenever it was.

Mark - thank you, I'm here for you and others too. I'm struggling. I'm in pain with my Bunion which I did tell my GP about a while ago and he just said use some muscle gel on it, which hasn't done anything. It's getting more and more painful and seems bigger. I can barely straighten my toe now (its on the right foot, big toe). Well when I walk it seems straight but other than that it hurts too much to straighten it. I can even see a bruise which I'm not sure is under the skin or on top. It's so painful. I can't even see my GP about this because him & my GP say once a month & I can't even get any appointments. I just want to cry. I may aswell see them both once a year because thats what it feels like. Would you suggest maybe calling and explaining the best I can if I can try and come in earlier? I do have an appointment but its not until mid December. And it's been since the start of the month, a few days after my birthday, I saw him and my Psychiatrist. I see my Psychiatrist on Friday, he could do Wednesday but idk.

Julie - yeah she's been in hospital most of her life though, even before I was born. Poor thing. I have to give it to her, she's very strong mentally and physically and it inspires me, as my Nana & Grandpa (her Parents, Dad's parents passed away before I was born) were too. She's still struggling to breathe & talk. They drained 9 litres of fluid from her, not just her lungs. So sad.

True. I did go with Dad for a 3 hour drive for something that had to be done, I was going to stay home but I would've had panic attacks either way which I did. I had panic attacks on the outside & inside (so some physical symptoms & the rest was just thoughts etc). I also had lots of flashbacks. It was stressful and now I'm really depressed & not in a good space.

I'll see Mum again tomorrow as we couldn't go today since we were 3 hours away. I spoke to her on the phone though but she's still struggling to speak so I feel bad and try not to get her to talk much but then I get upset because I feel like she doesn't want to talk (I feel this way with everyone, not just her). My stupid self, brain, etc. can't win.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I am sorry that you have a painfully bunion .Yes you should try and get in and see a doctor about it again as soon as possible and tell them the cream didn't work.It is no good being in pain.
My dad was a bit in and out of hospital so I know what it is like and I seem to be these days.I still haven't heard back from the hospital about my next surgery so I don't know when it is going to be done.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Mark.

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you can have your surgery soon.